My favourite Opie line was 'I'm going to be taking a sick day tomorrow'.

When he called Anthony “human garbage “

Nothing better than #Human Garbage.

In a way, it was clairvoyant - fucking visionary.

And - in history of spoken word - has there ever been a character assessment that was as precise & hilarious as Human Garbage

If anyone wrote a serious book about this fucking freak - the universe could not offer a title more fitting than: Anthony Cumia: Human Garbage

Dry Drunk comes to mind as a close second.

It’s dry drunk and human garbage in the morning!!!

“I wanna ask her about her doodies.”

“Fat people got smart and called themselves foodies”

Peak Ruizing

“When do women drop their hammers?”

“John Lennon also looked like he was Asian... Because he was high all the time”

He was just really really tired

“Wiping Like I’m wearing down a crayon”

Pat it must've been hard to pick just one

“If you’re on the moon, you gotta pull your dick out!”

It's funny because it's true

“It must be nice to just shit whenever you want like animals do!”

“What country is Asian with a little Mexican mixed in? Indonesia?”

Fuck, that actually kinda works.

I've noticed one real positive about Opie. The meme that he is terrible was beaten so far into the ground that sometimes when I listen to old bits and he has a good line it makes me laugh even more out of surprise.

Same. It's like an overcorrection.

I remember one time he got line of day for saying something about Michaelangelo being gay and painting on his back. I would really appreciate it if someone had that clip as I do not recall another instance of him being bestowed said honor.

We got lost.

I pick up on his rare gems. He could be funny, but he always blew it by explaining it after a laugh... he a Was so insecure he couldn't even have a good line, followed by a laugh.. Itd be "I know its old" "that old gag" or something else. I actually feel bad for him sometime, all jokes and bullshit aside hes mentally fucked up. Then u remember the bullshit he pulled and any type of good will dies a quick death

When it comes down to it, they all pulled bullshit. None of them deserve any good will.

shut up faggot

“ fuckin E-Rock”

When Louis was trying to convince everyone he had a big dick, and Opie immediately said "so you had a stunt double on Louie then?"

Imagine being Louis CK and thinking you're pretty funny.

​

Then you have to play second mic to the Opester!

"He's human garbage"

Best line was when Erock did the cinnamon challenge and almost died and told Opie to shut up and Opie said "I'm going to let you have today but tomorrow we are going to talk about how you told me to shut up"

He knows how to keep his subordinates in check

Captain and quartermaster of the S.S. Brothaman

this made me laugh reading it.

Ant said something about needing to know Spanish for something. "So I pulled over, and I was..."

And the brothaman said: "learning Spanish?"

That's actually the funniest thing I ever heard Opie say, but I don't remember the context or when it was said. All I know is brothaman said "learning Spanish?"

he would be shocked at anything even resembling a human statement from that greaseball cocksucker

Biiiiiiiiiiiilock

Anything where Opie exposes Vos

TAKE. THE WIG.

"hey wease, if we fawkin roll into the nursery on rollerblades, they wont know what fawkin hit em brother"

he then fled the nursery on said rollberblades and raped the child with brother wease. opie must be stopped.

You had me until your last line

Talking about a hoarders crying daughter:

"Oh just fucking move away and forget she ever existed."

Pathetic if true

I don’t know what they were talking about but ant and worm were “booing” something cringe and opie said “capital B with a whole lot of O’s”

On his podcast “fuck Jim norton, he’s a pussy”

Leave it alone

Hey E Slob...

SLOBBBOOO!

"You wanna suck em?"

I don't want any diddling back there, I know what my ass is capable of

"I'm not in the Cumia business anymore"

When they were attempting to trick the Mastic guy into thinking they were on the Gregg and Tony show and he goes, "Oh so this is how it's going to be? Long time fan and listener here." Anthony starts retreating and saying, "no no no" until the Destroyer butts in and says, "Okay it's the Opie and Anthony show and you're going to get beat up." Honorable mention would be calling Tommy Lee a pussy like ten times.

Out of the three, he was the only one to do it.

He's not a comedian, but the guy had balls at times.

More like he's not a comedian so the guy had balls at times

sniff

”You ever think about water?”

What's in salt water that makes it bad for you?

I liked when he called Worm a dry drunk and Worm retreated deep into the ground for a week.

Someone was doing the jaws music like dum dum dum dum dum dum.

And opie said oh its rich vos intro music

The rope he'll hang himself with.

DIIIIIP!

His eventual death rattle. Just like everyone else from that show

Why, sir? Why do you have to be so mean?

So abrasive.

Ant goes “maybe one of our black listeners can chime in? Someone get a hold of our black fan”

Opie goes “Yeah somebody wake him up because Im sure he has another day off”

I always enjoyed the Ozone Midget Sighting of the Day.

SLOBBBOOO!

Pat it must've been hard to pick just one