6’1” is slightly above average height at best now.. why is he talking like he’s 6’6”? I guess when your brother is 5’5”, you feel like a giant if you are 6ft.
Really though. By all rights he should’ve been hyperventilating at the mere sight of her but instead he’s like “hey you wanna go out? Oh, you can’t? Cool no problem!”
This is easily in the top 10 most delusional Joe Cumia moments, which is the equivalent of a top 10 NFL catch. Just think, Joe was so convinced that he had a shot with this world famous model/actress that he had to post this fanboy picture as proof.
He sees nothing embarrassing about the fact that he’s a broke, ugly, stupid asshole who’s bragging about a totally one-sided imagined missed romantic connection to his entire social circle. He honestly thinks that he looks cool doing something like that, but meanwhile everyone he’s ever known is laughing at him.
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You redditards don't think Milla Jovovovich didn't want a piece of this 100% American stud? He doesn't wear motorcycle safety gear. If that doesn't get cunt juice spilling like Chris Kuhn's kid onto the pavement then I don't know what does.
I guarantee he came up with that "schedules clashing" BS himself because he didn't want to be unfaithful to Nurse Diesel. He got the girl, after all.
In 20 years he'll still be telling people about the time he almost went out with Milla but their schedules didn't line up. Like the old guy who tells you about the time he was gonna go to Woodstock but his car was stolen a few days before.
"Awww, it's too bad I have to pass on the single most amazing opportunity of my entire flabby life, but I really gotta run home to tweet about black crime statistics and twunts. Maybe next time."
"Yeah, sorry toots, I can't take you to dinner, I've got a gig doing a cover of Where the Streets have no name at Sammy's Bar & Grill."
Also she isn't ducking, she's leaning in, which means her feet are probably a foot away from him so if he turns creepy she can step away quickly and isn't positioned too close.
She used to fuck John Frusciante. Looks like Joe took his role as guitar player for his and Ant's Chili Peppers cover band very seriously still at that point.
49 comments
1 Dr-Seepage 2019-02-28
Not being in showbiz, Joe is unfamiliar with the polite ways they tell people to fuck off
1 ThatsSoOverrated 2019-02-28
And he doesn't realize saying he was taller than some other men was the nicest thing the could think to say about this bovine trainwreck.
1 TedBacon 2019-02-28
Joe: You're stunning in person!
Milla: Thanks! You're... tall.
1 PeeSoup3030 2019-02-28
Her not being a native English speaker she likely confused tall for fat
1 literalotherkin 2019-02-28
I imagine the interaction being somewhat like that time Costanza was bothering George Wendt backstage on the Tonight Show.
1 redtrilobal 2019-02-28
I'm certain people outside of show business would want him to fuck off just as much
1 billdipshitbellamy 2019-02-28
Nah, she probably pulls up the ol' jpeg of this from time to time to reminisce, too!
1 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2019-02-28
Joe is unemployed and has a completely wide open schedule, yet he buys her rejecting him as "schedules clashing".
1 quasi100 2019-02-28
Like unless he had a date with a hotter celebrity what could have possibly clashed that he wouldn't just cancel. Oh right hes a liar.
1 crookedmile 2019-02-28
This nigga said "Our schedules clashed"
1 fiffy_tiffy 2019-02-28
She had to get to the movie set a date Joe had to get back to not getting his daughter to school on time.
1 TedBacon 2019-02-28
Joe: We should get dinner together!
Milla: I'm busy.
Joe interprets a brush-off as "schedules clashed".
1 all_copacetic 2019-02-28
Reminds me of his interaction with that frumpy Antifa girl at the book signing.
"I'd like to buy you coffee."
"No."
"I didn't think so."
1 LaLaLaLoey 2019-02-28
Cute as a button 🙄 as though he’s throwing her a bone by asking her to hang
1 Superbad415 2019-02-28
What a delusional fool.
1 Single_Action_Army 2019-02-28
The audacity of that faggot to ask her
1 Itllbeceesh 2019-02-28
Tbh I don't believe he did ask her. I don't even really believe she complimented him on being tall.
All that probably happened was she quickly agreed to take a pic with Joe and he decided he'd write his own backstory for it.
1 Attonitus1 2019-02-28
You can see the surprise, she had never seen a man as tall a 6'1 before.
1 ISO__JOE 2019-02-28
Joe: My names Joe and I’m not a racist, violent, pedophile despite what the libtards on imajurr would lead you to believe.
1 SlimWiggins 2019-02-28
6’1” is slightly above average height at best now.. why is he talking like he’s 6’6”? I guess when your brother is 5’5”, you feel like a giant if you are 6ft.
1 suirogerg 2019-02-28
“Schedules clashed” = “I texted AntH for some cash and he didn’t answer me back in time so she left.”
1 Ants_Oily_Hair 2019-02-28
What an absolute cringe inducing ass hole Joe Cumia of 2U is. An utter embarrassment.
He conducts everything like a third grader
1 tranthasourus 2019-02-28
His schedule ! This guy.
1 deep_legal_shit 2019-02-28
joe is the other end of the extreme from Ant example of the result of absolute retarded deluded self confidence
1 megaghost9 2019-02-28
Really though. By all rights he should’ve been hyperventilating at the mere sight of her but instead he’s like “hey you wanna go out? Oh, you can’t? Cool no problem!”
1 ObsessiveMuso 2019-02-28
I like that he thinks 6'1 is this towering and impressive height for grown men.
1 just_a_mean_person 2019-02-28
That's what I noticed too. Keep in mind his brother is a midget.
1 3stepsbackward 2019-02-28
She looks like she's being held hostage.
1 hulkanator 2019-02-28
Lucky for Carol your schedules clashed, Joe! You and Milla would've gotten married I'm sure
1 ReDMeridiaN 2019-02-28
This is easily in the top 10 most delusional Joe Cumia moments, which is the equivalent of a top 10 NFL catch. Just think, Joe was so convinced that he had a shot with this world famous model/actress that he had to post this fanboy picture as proof.
He sees nothing embarrassing about the fact that he’s a broke, ugly, stupid asshole who’s bragging about a totally one-sided imagined missed romantic connection to his entire social circle. He honestly thinks that he looks cool doing something like that, but meanwhile everyone he’s ever known is laughing at him.
1 [deleted] 2019-02-28
[removed]
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1 PrinceAlena 2019-02-28
A testament to her years in the business that she can blow a fan off but have them think they had a shot. What a pro.
What’s sadder is that Jim Norton thinks the same way about prostitutes
1 TheGreatBugsby 2019-02-28
You redditards don't think Milla Jovovovich didn't want a piece of this 100% American stud? He doesn't wear motorcycle safety gear. If that doesn't get cunt juice spilling like Chris Kuhn's kid onto the pavement then I don't know what does.
I guarantee he came up with that "schedules clashing" BS himself because he didn't want to be unfaithful to Nurse Diesel. He got the girl, after all.
1 Opie4EvaAnthonyNever 2019-02-28
In 20 years he'll still be telling people about the time he almost went out with Milla but their schedules didn't line up. Like the old guy who tells you about the time he was gonna go to Woodstock but his car was stolen a few days before.
1 just_a_mean_person 2019-02-28
In 20 years hopefully he'll be 19 years dead.
1 OandAbaron 2019-02-28
He was turned down for a coffee meet up by a AntHifa troll lady. The balls on this guy.
1 satanssockpuppet 2019-02-28
"Awww, it's too bad I have to pass on the single most amazing opportunity of my entire flabby life, but I really gotta run home to tweet about black crime statistics and twunts. Maybe next time."
1 panasonictooth 2019-02-28
Lol this fucking guy
1 Xtaline 2019-02-28
Holy douche chills
1 ValentinaBillien 2019-02-28
That whole post makes me want to vomit. Disgusting Joe.
1 toe_trigger 2019-02-28
Our schedules.
"Yeah, sorry toots, I can't take you to dinner, I've got a gig doing a cover of Where the Streets have no name at Sammy's Bar & Grill."
Also she isn't ducking, she's leaning in, which means her feet are probably a foot away from him so if he turns creepy she can step away quickly and isn't positioned too close.
1 dochattan 2019-02-28
It's plausible that their schedules clashed.. he had nowhere to be and she wanted to be anywhere else.
1 DickSlit 2019-02-28
She used to fuck John Frusciante. Looks like Joe took his role as guitar player for his and Ant's Chili Peppers cover band very seriously still at that point.
1 Icon_Crash 2019-02-28
No, it totally happened. They almost went to dinner, but not with each other! Haaammmmburger.
1 BlackManMoan 2019-02-28
His International tour with 2U must've been the reason for the scheduling conflict.
1 YangtzeRiverChina 2019-02-28
He has so little going for him that he had to bring his height into it
1 user112233441 2019-02-28
That smile did not linger on her face. Look how forced it is and how tense she is.
1 SuperTubsPeterson 2019-02-28
How does someone so monumentally worthless develop that kind of confidence??
1 fiffy_tiffy 2019-02-28
She had to get to the movie set a date Joe had to get back to not getting his daughter to school on time.
1 just_a_mean_person 2019-02-28
In 20 years hopefully he'll be 19 years dead.