"I hate traveling, I guess cause my dad used to beat me with a globe"

150  2019-02-20 by crookedmile

47 comments

Insomniac was a great show. It's a shame they can't have many shows anymore unless the comedian (and network) forces unfunny politics into it every chance they get.

Ironic as that channel is going to be fucked once South Park ends.

South park sucks ass now

The shit about amazon from the last season was great. I thought anyway.

All you south park faggots can go suck ass too except the guy who gave a reason why he liked it

one of the greats

Probably the best comic today. No one is quicker.

I think Louis and Chappelle are just as quick. Stanhope has his moments as well.

Nobody has written anywhere even close to amount of jokes Dave has either

Not a faggot

im not a satan worshipper, I just agree with a lot of the things he says

A true working comic, unlike Dave Landau

or Dave Smith

Who?

“You remember growing up thinking your dad was a superhero? Then you realize he’s just a drunk in a cape”

"You ever make fun of someone so much you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?"

Thank you Joe Cumia.

"Your mouth ain't fuckin' pregnant!"

Skanks for the Memories was a better special on a CD than the entire Netflix library has to offer.

It's only a cd but you're still right.

What did you think "special on a CD" meant then, character?

I don't read very well.

Dave how do we know you’re not gay? What if you are gay? Listen voice in my head...

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT?

Listen other, scarier voice in my head...

The best

"This is the Coast Guard! You're not on the road, you're in the ocean! Now swim outta that car!"

"Fuck you, SEA PIG!"

"Last time I drank Jagermeister i ended up on my porch naked screaming the n word at an eclipse.

Unless comics venture into garage door openers, I want no part of drunk humor.

"I miss the old timey punishments, like the stocks. You couldn't have them these days. In NYC, people would use them as a gay cash machine."

I saw Atell at Carolines in the 90s in a room full of swedish tourists who didn't respond at ALL to his material so he just worked the crowd and it was one of the best things I've ever seen. That's my boring old man comedy story, thanks for reading.

That was the stupidest story I've ever heard in my life. "I saw Dave Attell once and done funny stuff happened."

F-

I've never felt more seen.

Has anyone found the clip of him referring to midgets as floor niggers?

It's better that it only exists as an old wives' tale.

He did call Eskimos "snow Mexicans"

Ice beaners

“But Those titties ain’t retarded!”

"I was having sex with a girl and she started calling me crazy names. Yeah fuck me Santa, fuck me papa smurf. I'm like is she crazy like it says on her bracelet? Or is she just looking at my sheets"

too much bowl lickin

Stay with me...

I was reading "Ta-dah Magazine", the magazine by and for gay magicians

unfunny fuck

“Now I’m having sex with this girl and we’re doing it...doggystyle. Now, I didn’t plan on it, that’s just the way she passed out. THANK YOU SLOW GAS LEAK”

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard. “Skanks for the Memories” is a masterpiece.

Any other faggots here who use spotify, Skanks for the Memories is on there. Lots of other comedians too.

A couple of McNuggets and lies later, we're back at my house

"Ever wrestle your dog 'till you cum?"

Probably the best comic today. No one is quicker.

That was the stupidest story I've ever heard in my life. "I saw Dave Attell once and done funny stuff happened."

F-