Nah, if this was Kelsey Cook, it would have been an anecdote about her craaaazy life and probably alcohol-related.
"I got so drunk at the grocery store last night that I walked up to a koala bear and gave it a blowjob while singing the Star Spangled Banner! Only in my life!"
Yeah fuck those lawyers that help convict pedophiles and rapists to lengthy terms. Jim is lucky he didn't need a fucking lawyer to help his ass out when he stole 60,000 dollars from his fanbase.
What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A German shepherd! Anyway, folks, I was fucking a tranny in a bathtub full of AIDS the other night....
I read a cool story about a Catholic girl who would pray to on her rosary every night who was about to be killed by Bundy but he ran from her after he sensed a force in the room. He still thought about it in prison and sought out a Cardinal or Monsignor for advice.
Get a rosary and start praying to St. Mel folks. It could save your life -- let alone your soul.
Some social anthropologists think vampire and werewolf myths were our primitive ancestors way of rationalising serial killers, so maybe it works both ways.
That's an interesting theory. I always thought Vampires were just a grab bag of assumptions people had about Jews in the Middle Ages but yeah that's interesting.
There's also Porphyria and premature burial due to a poor understanding of death; every now and then, they'd dig up a coffin only to find the occupant had been clawing at the inside trying to get out - a clear sign of the undead...
Even fucking Tacitus 2000 years ago had the exact same complaint. Too clannish, too avaricious and too fanatical. It's the same three threads that, as far as I've learned, make up all serious dislike for them. 110 is coming soon unfortunately for them.
There have been claims that part of the vampire myth relates to drinking blood for the adrenochrome produced in the bloodstream during moments of extreme terror, which produces a hallucinogenic effect. It has also been speculated that this is why rabbis suck the blood during circumcision rituals and by extension the ritual murder accusations those people received (which they call "blood libel") throughout history. It sounds crazy, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Adrenochrome is a chemical compound with the molecular formula C9H9NO3 produced by the oxidation of adrenaline (epinephrine). The derivative carbazochrome is a hemostatic medication. Despite a similarity in chemical names, it is unrelated to chrome or chromium.
It is. The scientists Abraham Hoffer and Humphrey Osmond wrote about their experiments with it in a book called "The Hallucinogens" from 1967.
They also use the term psychotomimetic, meaning it mimics psychosis and causes delirium in addition to hallucinations. This term was later replaced with "psychedelic," which was a marketing term to make these drugs more appealing to people.
Look up how much of a history they have in terms of getting kicked out of places for blood rituals.
It goes very deep. Ashkenazi jews tend to have genetic disease they are born with that is only helped by blood. Tay Sachs I think it’s called. There was another disease as well.
Ashkenazi also are predisposed to having higher rates of mental illness and schizophrenia.
Theres a reason why vampires in lore always hate the Christian cross....
It goes all the way back to Neanderthals vs cro magnons. Neanderthals are ancient Jewish dna. We had thousands of years of Neanderthals vs cro magnons. Cro magnons won this battle but Neanderthal dna still exists modern day and they don’t forget the ancient battles they’ve had. It’s why jews and gentiles don’t get along and never will. It’s in our dna.
Neanderthals would attack during the night which gave vampires their nocturnal characterization and the cro magnons would have animals like big dogs that would alert them if things like raids were about to go down.
Adding to this- modern day jews aren’t the same jews from the Bible. They don’t share a genetic link. I suspect the original Jews, God’s people, have their dna extinct. Their closet link is Ethiopians.
Modern day jews, the ones that call themselves the real authentic Jews, Ashkenazi, come from Khazaria. Migrated from the caucus mountain range they retreated to after cro magnons defeated them and forced them into hiding. The khazarians were wicked people. They were forced to pick up religion by their neighbors(muslims/Christians) at some point and chose to combine their vampire type practices outlined in the Talmud to Judaism.
These are your modern day Ashkenazi jews. Former Neanderthals/Pharisees that adopted Judaism in the Middle Ages. Not ancient biblical Jews. The elites from the Khazaria that escaped that area are your Rothschilds.
Look at that first reply. That's a perfect representation of all the fans Norton has left. The only people who think Jim is edgy or Chip is funny are the same rubes making pun chains on Reddit.
If you ever want a clearcut example of how stupid women can be, just watch the interviews with the groupies who came to ogle Bundy at his first trial in Florida. You know, the one where he was being tried for going room to room in a sorority house and beating the brains in and biting chunks out of young women who looked just like them. The dumb cunts even admitted to being as terrified of him as they were attracted to him, it's hilarious. Utter self-loathing.
98 comments
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
He shouldn't have given Kelsey Cook access to his account.
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
Her flaunting her tits and lying about her night is far preferable to this 90s brick wall comedy club level shit.
1 harriswill 2019-01-30
Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box LOL
1 SamsSeedWhiteKnight 2019-01-30
What about those peanuts?!
1 AxelSpott 2019-01-30
u/SamsWhiteSeedNight is a better name.
1 SamsSeedWhiteKnight 2019-01-30
Yes sir. This is good.
1 BoardroomBimmy 2019-01-30
Nah, if this was Kelsey Cook, it would have been an anecdote about her craaaazy life and probably alcohol-related.
"I got so drunk at the grocery store last night that I walked up to a koala bear and gave it a blowjob while singing the Star Spangled Banner! Only in my life!"
1 Newb0rn_Fleshlight 2019-01-30
Yassss slayy Queen - prolly a reply from her dumb cunt instagram fans
1 basedmattnigga7 2019-01-30
Yick
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
The girl beside her on the plane would be a politician or lawyer.
1 dropngo 2019-01-30
Take THAT, politicians and lawyers!
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
He really taught those adults with graduate degrees and professional careers a thing or two!
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
These politicians and lawyers are really the worst ammirite guys????? Also, women be shopping!
1 CommodorePawsey 2019-01-30
And they certainly be diff’rnt from men!
1 itsdeegan 2019-01-30
Have you ever notice how white people drive like this
And black people drive like thiiisss?
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
It's TRUE! It's TRUE! We're so lame.
1 NicoretteVos 2019-01-30
You ever been to the airport? The loudspeaker sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher! What’s that about?
1 Canadia86 2019-01-30
Glad someone finally took them down a peg
1 late_50s_why 2019-01-30
More like poopy people!!
1 mahaaa_the_french 2019-01-30
Yeah fuck those lawyers that help convict pedophiles and rapists to lengthy terms. Jim is lucky he didn't need a fucking lawyer to help his ass out when he stole 60,000 dollars from his fanbase.
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
Gyp Gypperson
1 crookedmile 2019-01-30
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! LOL
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A German shepherd! Anyway, folks, I was fucking a tranny in a bathtub full of AIDS the other night....
1 ilumty 2019-01-30
Wow there, don't go after such sacred cows
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
I read a cool story about a Catholic girl who would pray to on her rosary every night who was about to be killed by Bundy but he ran from her after he sensed a force in the room. He still thought about it in prison and sought out a Cardinal or Monsignor for advice.
Get a rosary and start praying to St. Mel folks. It could save your life -- let alone your soul.
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
Some social anthropologists think vampire and werewolf myths were our primitive ancestors way of rationalising serial killers, so maybe it works both ways.
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
That's an interesting theory. I always thought Vampires were just a grab bag of assumptions people had about Jews in the Middle Ages but yeah that's interesting.
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
There's also quite a lot of symbolism about sexual disease within vampire mythology obviously. Blood, infection, young maidens getting bitten etc
1 Jungies 2019-01-30
There's also Porphyria and premature burial due to a poor understanding of death; every now and then, they'd dig up a coffin only to find the occupant had been clawing at the inside trying to get out - a clear sign of the undead...
1 fatshamers 2019-01-30
Ah, I remember reading "Porphyria's Lover," in like 10th grade. Good shit.
1 Ants_Oily_Hair 2019-01-30
I love how the jews have been hated aince day 1. It really justifies everything to me. They r simply a terrible people
1 literalotherkin 2019-01-30
Even fucking Tacitus 2000 years ago had the exact same complaint. Too clannish, too avaricious and too fanatical. It's the same three threads that, as far as I've learned, make up all serious dislike for them. 110 is coming soon unfortunately for them.
1 spearducker 2019-01-30
There have been claims that part of the vampire myth relates to drinking blood for the adrenochrome produced in the bloodstream during moments of extreme terror, which produces a hallucinogenic effect. It has also been speculated that this is why rabbis suck the blood during circumcision rituals and by extension the ritual murder accusations those people received (which they call "blood libel") throughout history. It sounds crazy, but I wouldn't put it past them.
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
I can’t think of another reason why a holy man would want to suck on a tiny boy’s pecker.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-01-30
You can't?
1 spearducker 2019-01-30
It's a two-for-one special in their culture, and you know how much they love deals.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-01-30
Adrenochrome is fictional, nice Fear and Loathing reference stupid
1 spearducker 2019-01-30
Nice 2 seconds of research, stupid. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrenochrome
1 HelperBot_ 2019-01-30
Desktop link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrenochrome
/r/HelperBot_ Downvote to remove. Counter: 235201
1 WikiTextBot 2019-01-30
Adrenochrome
Adrenochrome is a chemical compound with the molecular formula C9H9NO3 produced by the oxidation of adrenaline (epinephrine). The derivative carbazochrome is a hemostatic medication. Despite a similarity in chemical names, it is unrelated to chrome or chromium.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2019-01-30
Fuck. It's not hallucinogenic though. But I already lost :(
1 spearducker 2019-01-30
It is. The scientists Abraham Hoffer and Humphrey Osmond wrote about their experiments with it in a book called "The Hallucinogens" from 1967.
They also use the term psychotomimetic, meaning it mimics psychosis and causes delirium in addition to hallucinations. This term was later replaced with "psychedelic," which was a marketing term to make these drugs more appealing to people.
1 TepplerDjax 2019-01-30
Vampires definitely come from Jewish lore.
Look up how much of a history they have in terms of getting kicked out of places for blood rituals.
It goes very deep. Ashkenazi jews tend to have genetic disease they are born with that is only helped by blood. Tay Sachs I think it’s called. There was another disease as well.
Ashkenazi also are predisposed to having higher rates of mental illness and schizophrenia.
Theres a reason why vampires in lore always hate the Christian cross....
It goes all the way back to Neanderthals vs cro magnons. Neanderthals are ancient Jewish dna. We had thousands of years of Neanderthals vs cro magnons. Cro magnons won this battle but Neanderthal dna still exists modern day and they don’t forget the ancient battles they’ve had. It’s why jews and gentiles don’t get along and never will. It’s in our dna.
Neanderthals would attack during the night which gave vampires their nocturnal characterization and the cro magnons would have animals like big dogs that would alert them if things like raids were about to go down.
1 TepplerDjax 2019-01-30
Adding to this- modern day jews aren’t the same jews from the Bible. They don’t share a genetic link. I suspect the original Jews, God’s people, have their dna extinct. Their closet link is Ethiopians.
Modern day jews, the ones that call themselves the real authentic Jews, Ashkenazi, come from Khazaria. Migrated from the caucus mountain range they retreated to after cro magnons defeated them and forced them into hiding. The khazarians were wicked people. They were forced to pick up religion by their neighbors(muslims/Christians) at some point and chose to combine their vampire type practices outlined in the Talmud to Judaism.
These are your modern day Ashkenazi jews. Former Neanderthals/Pharisees that adopted Judaism in the Middle Ages. Not ancient biblical Jews. The elites from the Khazaria that escaped that area are your Rothschilds.
1 Clau7sen 2019-01-30
Are you trying not to say wandering Jew?
1 TriangleDimes 2019-01-30
or maybe there are vampires and werewolves you heretic
1 jubbytime 2019-01-30
Perhaps more than that..
1 ForceFeedNana 2019-01-30
'SAVE ME, MEL!'
'I DESERVE TO BE BLOWN BEFORE GRANTING SALVATION!'
1 Clau7sen 2019-01-30
No way Mel would never demand something from his fellow Christians.
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
Cool story, stupid.
1 ForceFeedNana 2019-01-30
It's a standard joke that received a standard non-commital grunt from.yours truly.
1 JuulSantana 2019-01-30
Bundy had way more charisma than Norton could ever dream of. You think Norton is convincing anyone into getting in his car?
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
Bundy was charismatic, no doubt, but his way of convincing young women to get in his car usually involved smashing them over the head with a crow bar.
1 JuulSantana 2019-01-30
Which is probably still the best way Norton will get another date.
1 pomegranate2012 2019-01-30
This guy gets a new girl every night!
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
He was such a generous lover that the girls he picked up never had sex with another guy again. Ted was an impossible act to follow.
1 LarryKleist711 2019-01-30
Another guy didn't have sex with them. But Bundy did. Again and again.
1 RichardInaTreeFort 2019-01-30
Lawyers and politicians are so bad.....
1 TrievelGoesSouth 2019-01-30
This is, no joke, no exaggeration, the worst joke I've ever heard Jim make.
This is beyond hack.
1 QualitySpam 2019-01-30
A joke so "good" he bypassed chipper and tweeted it as himself.
1 AiCPearlJam 2019-01-30
Bundy maintained long term relationships while he did his dirty work on the side. More than Norton can say for himself.
1 3sharpies2many 2019-01-30
Jim Norton originally wanted to be a Jerky Boy.
1 UhLookHereMan 2019-01-30
he's a jerk all right
1 aprosbro 2019-01-30
clown horn
1 JoshFromMichigan 2019-01-30
Look at that first reply. That's a perfect representation of all the fans Norton has left. The only people who think Jim is edgy or Chip is funny are the same rubes making pun chains on Reddit.
1 punannimaster 2019-01-30
two jews walk into a bar honk honk gimmie those ribs you
1 thrillated 2019-01-30
Next up on his repertoire: if con is the opposite of pro, what is the opposite of progress?
1 iWhoreSchortSchorts 2019-01-30
Going backwards
1 BoardroomBimmy 2019-01-30
Whoa there, kid! Save these gems for the show!
1 LamarThePotato 2019-01-30
heyoooooo!
1 senselessdegenerate 2019-01-30
Jim Norton originally wanted to be a forklift operator. Ultimately he was fired and became a prop comic who pays men for sex.
1 choccole 2019-01-30
A lot of comedians are really unfunny.
1 i_saw_nothing 2019-01-30
Man. You gotta say this about Norton. Ted Bundy jokes never go out of style, right?
1 nointernetforyou 2019-01-30
649 idiots clicked Like.
1 uptownshakedown 2019-01-30
“Lawyers, amiright?”
1 Persianschlong 2019-01-30
I'm confident his fri/sat nights are filled with contributions to society
1 AlchemyWizard 2019-01-30
Next he’ll discuss the wacky nature of how we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
1 Phkna1 2019-01-30
Who did he rip that joke from? Or was it in a joke book from 1978?
1 FakeTrending 2019-01-30
Looks like those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
1 Tibor_Zutroy 2019-01-30
Don't praise the machine.
1 danyellsahn 2019-01-30
NO HE DIDN’T!
1 TheElDan 2019-01-30
Haaaaaamburger.
1 deep_legal_shit 2019-01-30
"I read a lot about serial killers," said the middle school kid with Rock Band t-shirts
1 SpergLord5000 2019-01-30
I bet more chicks would sleep with bundy than jim just on looks alone.
1 McGowan9 2019-01-30
If you ever want a clearcut example of how stupid women can be, just watch the interviews with the groupies who came to ogle Bundy at his first trial in Florida. You know, the one where he was being tried for going room to room in a sorority house and beating the brains in and biting chunks out of young women who looked just like them. The dumb cunts even admitted to being as terrified of him as they were attracted to him, it's hilarious. Utter self-loathing.
1 Tibor_Zutroy 2019-01-30
More would sleep with Bundy in his current state than would sleep with Jim.
1 ilumty 2019-01-30
what a basic bitch twitter joke
jesus jimmy
1 AnthonyCumio 2019-01-30
Nice faggot being a faggot, stupid.
1 NickDutchNinja 2019-01-30
Tell ya what, I liked this Bundy guy a lot more when he just stayed home with his hand in his pants insulting his wife Peggy!
1 jubbytime 2019-01-30
Does anybody remember laughter?
1 Peckas1 2019-01-30
Lawyers and lawmakers are worse than a serial killer? You know, that's a tough one..
1 je398338 2019-01-30
LMAO. I love this title. Jim, thats fuckin lazy brother
1 RemmySkye 2019-01-30
HRMMMM..... WUZ SHE A GREAT BIG FAT PERSON??????
.............. WOULDJA????? WOODJA????
good-bi whorses..
1 Monotoned 2019-01-30
Booooooooooooooooo
1 pussycreamdreamteam 2019-01-30
i'm funnier than that and i'm retarded
1 JPSouthampton-v2 2019-01-30
Wow
1 Lynn_Sarah 2019-01-30
wow jim stinks... bad joke..
1 VanillaCokeGoonLord 2019-01-30
There’s no doubt that he posted that with a “mic drop” attitude behind it. Yuck.
1 JuulSantana 2019-01-30
Which is probably still the best way Norton will get another date.
1 pomegranate2012 2019-01-30
This guy gets a new girl every night!