Wow is this real life? Joe Cumia was diagnosed and then undiagnosed with HIV? Did we ever get the low down on that gayness? Holy fuck please tell me this is legit.
First off, YES I was misdiagnosed with HIV. After feeling ill I saw my DOCTOR who stated I was showing all the symptoms. He then "confirmed" it through blood work. SCARY SHIT...until I saw a Hillary Clinton for president mug on his desk. That is when I realized he is a LIBTARD who misdiagnosed me for being REPUBLICAN. So NO, I do not have HIV.
So often when people post something Joe's written online I will assume it's got to be fake because even he isn't THAT stupid. It's nearly always real though. It's incredible how stupid this man is.
Hahaha killer find! They definitely jumped from the shitty hair metal of the late 80’s to the funk alt shit of the early 90’a like every shitty local band in every part of the country did back then. I get nostalgic for this kinda stuff. My shitty bands bio looked just like this sorry to say
It’s astounding. His whole life is walking around a yard full of rakes, and stepping on each one of them. Yet, he is one of the most smug people I’ve seen. I’m almost jealous of him.
Unfortunately, stupid people don't know they're stupid. They can't conceptualize the world beyond what they comprehend so they sort of convince themselves that they're knowledgeable about everything.
Maybe you missed the part where he wrote "cunning linguist".
You see, if you read it naturally, it sounds like "cunnilingus". Which is the act of oral sex on a woman! Outrageous!
But it's a double entendre, because a linguist is someone who creates words and phrases. So, if Joe's writing lyrics to the Rotgut songs that aren't covers of your favorite hits from the 70's, 80's, and 90's!, he is indeed a linguist!
It's pretty layered, so it's easy to see how you might have overlooked that, Tony.
Really. All of those publications used that exact hyper-specific comparison to describe your band. I mean, Red Hot Chili Peppers are terrible and Frank Zappa was certainly capable of releasing flaming dogshit, but all of those people thought that? Oh no, wait... Better Homes and Gardens!!!! I get it now!! HAHAHA HOOOLY SHIT
It sounds like music they'd be listening to in a sitcom, when the son goes to hang out with the "bad kids" in the neighborhood and they're smoking weed in their basement.
Joe still maintains that "Anth" is the accepted shorthand for "Anthony", even when writing a bio for the rest of the world to consume.
As long as this shitty work of fiction is, why not add the dumb Cumia factoid that "Anthony hates being called 'Ant' ever since we were kids, so his closest and dearest friends and family know to call him 'Anth' and if you don't, you're probably not part of the inner circle...". Not like adding another sentence would make this any worse to read.
This is maybe the most cringe thing I’ve ever seen. Also, to say Rotgut is virtually unknown and then mention that Virgin Steele is virtually unknown in the same sentence implies that Rotgut and Virgin Steele are on a similar plane. Virgin Steele may be a little cheesy, but I guarantee they are 1000x more well known than Rotgut.
Virgin Steele is cheesy, but lyrically smart and damn good at what they do and pretty well respected. None of that could apply to Rotgut or any Joe Cumia outings.
It’s astounding. His whole life is walking around a yard full of rakes, and stepping on each one of them. Yet, he is one of the most smug people I’ve seen. I’m almost jealous of him.
Unfortunately, stupid people don't know they're stupid. They can't conceptualize the world beyond what they comprehend so they sort of convince themselves that they're knowledgeable about everything.
47 comments
1 ThatNiggaDre 2019-01-10
Let's boogie! Hey now, let's dig Brother Joe really turn it on!
1 thrillated 2019-01-10
He can't help it, he's black.
1 ElFaporino 2019-01-10
Well that line get took from the beginning of Spinal Tap
1 Pogo_Thee_Clown 2019-01-10
Fucking yuck, sounds like a fourteen year old wrote this after getting a cheap drum set for Christmas
1 BarryMcCaulkener 2019-01-10
Wow is this real life? Joe Cumia was diagnosed and then undiagnosed with HIV? Did we ever get the low down on that gayness? Holy fuck please tell me this is legit.
1 crookedmile 2019-01-10
https://www.facebook.com/rotgutny/
Right there under Our Story
1 JosephCumia1959 2019-01-10
First off, YES I was misdiagnosed with HIV. After feeling ill I saw my DOCTOR who stated I was showing all the symptoms. He then "confirmed" it through blood work. SCARY SHIT...until I saw a Hillary Clinton for president mug on his desk. That is when I realized he is a LIBTARD who misdiagnosed me for being REPUBLICAN. So NO, I do not have HIV.
1 SpudPeelinJoe 2019-01-10
So often when people post something Joe's written online I will assume it's got to be fake because even he isn't THAT stupid. It's nearly always real though. It's incredible how stupid this man is.
1 fo-da-fo-da-show 2019-01-10
Hahaha killer find! They definitely jumped from the shitty hair metal of the late 80’s to the funk alt shit of the early 90’a like every shitty local band in every part of the country did back then. I get nostalgic for this kinda stuff. My shitty bands bio looked just like this sorry to say
1 dropngo 2019-01-10
"Our story"
"ROTGUT - FRIDAY, JUNE 15 2018"
"That's how they've been described"
"tends to take their music"
"if they EVER get a record deal, they'll be fired a year into it"
"they're BLESSED to be promoted by Anth's brother, JOSEPH CUMIA"
"looks SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER than the of us"
"JOE CURRIE...Childhood friend"
"But Hey! Enough of my yackin, Whatta ya say?"
​
First person or third person. Fucking pick one and stick with it.
1 deumae 2019-01-10
"linguist"
1 db111 2019-01-10
And all of that weird CAPITALIZATION that Joe does.
1 Robert_Spiff_Kelly 2019-01-10
On a positive note nature righted itself, he had a girl so she can change her name when she gets married and nobody will ever know
1 Themenwithnoname 2019-01-10
"AntH's brother"
1 RealTonySchiavone 2019-01-10
It's impossible to name the absolute worst thing about Joe, but the fact that he finds himself so incredibly charming and funny tops the list.
1 TheElDan 2019-01-10
The smartest people I know don’t have the self-confidence of this ex-crackhead dropout.
1 realestassdude 2019-01-10
It’s astounding. His whole life is walking around a yard full of rakes, and stepping on each one of them. Yet, he is one of the most smug people I’ve seen. I’m almost jealous of him.
1 fakeaccount778 2019-01-10
Unfortunately, stupid people don't know they're stupid. They can't conceptualize the world beyond what they comprehend so they sort of convince themselves that they're knowledgeable about everything.
1 i_saw_nothing 2019-01-10
Maybe you missed the part where he wrote "cunning linguist".
You see, if you read it naturally, it sounds like "cunnilingus". Which is the act of oral sex on a woman! Outrageous!
But it's a double entendre, because a linguist is someone who creates words and phrases. So, if Joe's writing lyrics to the Rotgut songs that aren't covers of your favorite hits from the 70's, 80's, and 90's!, he is indeed a linguist!
It's pretty layered, so it's easy to see how you might have overlooked that, Tony.
1 BoardroomBimmy 2019-01-10
With that kinda wit, it's a wonder that Opie went with Anthony instead.
1 TurningFrogsGay 2019-01-10
Who was the member of Rotgut that started referring to Opie as Rotgut's "Yoko"?
1 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2019-01-10
Really. All of those publications used that exact hyper-specific comparison to describe your band. I mean, Red Hot Chili Peppers are terrible and Frank Zappa was certainly capable of releasing flaming dogshit, but all of those people thought that? Oh no, wait... Better Homes and Gardens!!!! I get it now!! HAHAHA HOOOLY SHIT
1 Dtour77 2019-01-10
This is literally the same Bio Anthony shit on every year for Jocktober!
1 OutlawMemer 2019-01-10
"Plays drums better than most African-Americans."
Ah, Jesus, Joe...
1 toe_trigger 2019-01-10
This would be the greatest suicide note of all time.
1 db111 2019-01-10
"Virgin Steele"
1 Air_Rangoon 2019-01-10
Reminder: This is the stunningly bad band he's talking about.
It's like Zappa cuz the part where the beat is different.
Also, 12 views.
1 PretzlKing 2019-01-10
Wow. It’s unreal that Anthony ever mocked Steve C / Foundry. Pendulum is next level shit compared to this garbage.
1 hard_to_explain 2019-01-10
It sounds like Jerry Springer bumper music
1 UnemployedOpie 2019-01-10
It's like intro music for some independent wrestler
1 crookedmile 2019-01-10
Coming Up Next: I’m A Sex Escort....And A Man!!!
1 nikolam 2019-01-10
Imagine that. A Cumia song directly referencing the KKK. They just can’t help themselves.
1 Doc_McCoyXYZ 2019-01-10
It sounds like music they'd be listening to in a sitcom, when the son goes to hang out with the "bad kids" in the neighborhood and they're smoking weed in their basement.
1 OpieEatsBoogers 2019-01-10
The comparison to Zappa really irks me.
1 [deleted] 2019-01-10
[deleted]
1 tjdon 2019-01-10
I love when bad bands write bios the way they remember bios from teen beat in the 70s
1 i_saw_nothing 2019-01-10
Joe still maintains that "Anth" is the accepted shorthand for "Anthony", even when writing a bio for the rest of the world to consume.
As long as this shitty work of fiction is, why not add the dumb Cumia factoid that "Anthony hates being called 'Ant' ever since we were kids, so his closest and dearest friends and family know to call him 'Anth' and if you don't, you're probably not part of the inner circle...". Not like adding another sentence would make this any worse to read.
1 Phkna1 2019-01-10
Sue was in Ant's inner circle.
1 PretzlKing 2019-01-10
This is maybe the most cringe thing I’ve ever seen. Also, to say Rotgut is virtually unknown and then mention that Virgin Steele is virtually unknown in the same sentence implies that Rotgut and Virgin Steele are on a similar plane. Virgin Steele may be a little cheesy, but I guarantee they are 1000x more well known than Rotgut.
1 NoirMagieGateau 2019-01-10
Virgin Steele is cheesy, but lyrically smart and damn good at what they do and pretty well respected. None of that could apply to Rotgut or any Joe Cumia outings.
1 PretzlKing 2019-01-10
Oh, I wasn’t trying to mock Virgin Steele. I like their stuff.
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2019-01-10
ALSO OUR DRUMMER IS WHITE AND HE ALSO DRUMS BETTER THAN MOST NIGGERS SO TAKE THAT NIGGERS.
1 Peckas1 2019-01-10
Ant's Scar Tissue wish I never saw
1 nikolam 2019-01-10
Joe thinks he’s a know it all.
1 Peckas1 2019-01-10
"Close your eyes and I'll kiss Sue 'Cause.."
1 Kalikhead 2019-01-10
Better Homes and Gardens? Wow. That’s some wacky humor Slow Joe. At least he used punctuation in his absolute drivel unlike Boshitti.
1 googledhowtobehuman 2019-01-10
Wow, i didn't he was a magician. What cant he do?
1 realestassdude 2019-01-10
It’s astounding. His whole life is walking around a yard full of rakes, and stepping on each one of them. Yet, he is one of the most smug people I’ve seen. I’m almost jealous of him.
1 fakeaccount778 2019-01-10
Unfortunately, stupid people don't know they're stupid. They can't conceptualize the world beyond what they comprehend so they sort of convince themselves that they're knowledgeable about everything.