This idiot is actually proud of buying shitty guitars.

1  2018-12-20 by CaptainR3dbeard85

45 comments

Fucking historic moron. Why not buy an Electromatic for $600? You know, these companies all make cheaper versions of their famous guitars so you don’t have to buy bootleg versions of them. Unreal.

MCGA!

Make China Great Again.

Everything thing about this guy is bootleg.

His white heritage is definitely bootlegged

His Chinese Harley has a MAGA sticker on it, genuinely.

Chibson Joe back at it. Does he own any authentic guitars?

Not with the allowance Nana gives him.

They’re ‘tribute’ guitars.

his guitars are about as authentic as his music career

Purchasing products you know to be fake is as illegal as selling them. It'd be a real shame if someone compiled a list of all Joe's knock off guitars and had him reported.

go citizens arrest him with your hall monitor sash

The real guitar is only $3000. Book one show at a SUNY orientation or gay week or whatever and buy five.

Lazy-ass terrone.

You’d think he makes that in one night letting people in through the back door at the Big Apple Ranch.

you didn't include the other four paragraphs he wrote

I thought I would save everyone the time of reading through his nonsensical drivel.

Fucking retard will probably follow this up with another rant about Facebook silencing him for his political views while admitting to paying them even more of Nana's hard earned trucker scammed money.

Don't you guys always call him an patriot and audiophile all the time?

No one in their right mind would ever call him those words.

Yeah, a failed attempt at humor. Patriot -> idiot / audiophile ->

It's hit and miss with me. mostly miss.

No worries. All attempts at ridiculing the Cumias are welcome here. I am assuming you meant to finish that “audiophile -> closet homosexual”

He's gotta be fucking with us now. What fucking idiot would brag about buying knockoff Chink guitars from Facebook?

This is directed right at us. “Ill never acknowledge the site that rhymes with “said it” ever again.” Good work Jobless Joe.

wouldn't surprise me if he thought tweeting something fake but indistinguishably stupid from his sincere shit seemed like a huge 'win' for him.

"I can't BELIEVE they think that tweet that could easily be TRUE was REAL! #satyclassieoasubscription"

I hope his credit card number is being passed around the streets of Beijing as we speak.

He calls it a Christmas miracle that they fulfilled his order while at the same time endorsing it as the only Facebook-advertised Chinese replica guitar supplier he'll order from. Goddamned idiot.

Also, who orders anything from a Facebook advertisement? He is so foolish with Anthony's money.

Unlike him, I don’t see a need to evaluate which, if any, of the Facebook-advertised Chinese replica guitar suppliers are worthy of endorsement.

I don't always order counterfeit guitars from China, but when I do, I like to wait the entire month of September, the entire month of October, the entire month of November, and the majority of December before they arrive. Much more convenient than spending 45 minutes at Guitar Center.

The SCUMFUCKS at @GutarCenter BOTCHED yet another sale today!! Walked in with a wallet full of my scratch ready to buy the brand-new Ovation I’ve been occulating, then the (black) clerk tells me I’m not ALLOWED to hook it up to a looping pedal!?! Fucker thinks I’m going to drop $1000+ dollar s that I EARNED in lieu of proving I can sound just like Eric? #BANGUITARCENTER #ISUPPORTCHINA

then the (black) clerk

Ugh. This is exactly how he'd say it.

How is that you?

This is a spot on impression of Joe's tweets

This is like a bot grabbed every buzzword Joe ever tweeted and this came out

I work at corporate for a certain large music retailer (guess who) and started on the sales floor... Joe probably got banned from his local GC (maybe all of em). He is exactly who I would think of if I had to describe the worst kind of customer - entitled baby boomer nobodies that think their $500 sale is big bucks.

those shitty cheap chinese pickups will really give it that "Great Gretsch Sound". A dumb man.

I wonder if he has any guitars that aren't signature models? Like just a plain Ibanez without someone's name or likeness plastered all over it.

I don’t understand any of this guitar talk and since it doesn’t interest me and removes me from my comfort zone, I’m just going to call you all faggots, OK?

he should buy one quality guitar and get good at playing it because he'll never ever play for anyone who gives a shit about the difference between one guitar and the next

Joe is so stupid that if they sent him a bag of medical waste with a Gibson logo on it he'd spend 45 minutes trying to figure out where to plug the cable in.

ultimately, the cable would be inserted into his own anus

Just like all the penises at Big Apple Ranch

No worries. All attempts at ridiculing the Cumias are welcome here. I am assuming you meant to finish that “audiophile -> closet homosexual”

this fucking idiot brags about how he was making 5 figures for gigs and how he's all about america and yet can't splurge a little on an authentic american made guitar?

the logic of joe cumia

Do these even sound good? Doesn't he have the money for a decent guitar? He's so fucking dumb.

When you get to his age your ears can’t hear the difference anymore. When you play shitty versions of covers only, your fingers can’t tell either. I wouldn’t even waste a squire on his talent. Maybe a first act all in one box guitar from the dollar store.

These Chinese bootleg sites are definitely selling his information to other companies.