"You have a big dick? Have you ever asked Martha about different cocks she's had?"

He'd save that one for Lincoln.

"You've got big hands, dude. You've got to be packing at least 8, right?"

"It said on the sheet you were shot in the head, could you elaborate on that?"

"It says here two of your other sons died of disease before their twelfth birthdays. Go."

Fuck, this could’ve been a break in 2010. Then Anthony would’ve jumped in with, “I bet Martha prefers that [beep sound effect] slave dick.”

"Have you ever used a slave as a dominatrix?"

He'd make some joke about wooden teeth and clits.

A big meaty pussy

Mmm imagine Washington's rancid ass mouth, wooden teeth and all, going to town on some good old fashioned corned beef.

Something tells me colonial men of Washington's class didn't eat da coochie

Jimmy likes a giant clit. With a big head on it. And a couple of balls behind it.

Nah thass maw like a dick or sumptin'!

we don't make baby noises around here.

Strange, there was a time a bit of Literal Jim/Chippah action would have gone down a treat around here. I guess the sub has passed me by. sniff

Leave it alone.

I guess a niggas ribs ain't the only thing you got hurtin' today... :'(

You mean... his heart?

His anus. He raped him between comments

HA!

Tsss-tsss.

Valley Forge - the winter really tried to motherfuck you, didn’t it. Snow was a real problem.

'Wasn't General William Howe a ssssscumbag?'

"How'd it feel getting motherfucked by Benedict Arnold?"

"so that gun can only get one shot off every 15 minutes? I'm lucky to get one off every 5 days if you know that I mean, i gotta take this blue pill"

Imagine fence sitting Jim before the Civil War

"Its a tough one"

He would probably waffle back and forth during war and then after Union won try to ruin the professional lives of former slave owners

He'd maybe work with Jefferson Davis, but only under the right circumstances.

If I owned slaves I'd tell ya.

He thought the Belle Knox interview was great.

Big Jay: "You get any pussy from being the first president? Probably a lot right?"

"Have you ever left splinters in Martha's twat?"

That's pretty funny.

"So your mother died of breast cancer, did you find that difficult growing up?"

"So you can't tell a lie? How do you wife's feet stink?"

So they listen to Stern and read Reddit for show prep. That's wonderful, best of luck to them.

Leave it alone.