He was able to get away with it when he had his conceal carry license, but that's gone and his guns belong to Nassau County police now, so he looks retarded.

So I’m not fooling anyone?

to be fair it does work or it wouldn't be a thing

bras make flapjacks look like beefers and we still fall for it

Fat guys wearing shirts in the pool is a thing, but it objectively does not work.

You should be a D.A. that wins every case on cross examination

I wear two shirts every day but I button my goddamned shirt like an adult.

Black man, black shirt, colored shirt, black out. I'm seeing a pattern here.

He saw the flogging Opie copped for his titties and he knows he couldn't handle it.

Oh fuck it is...I better lose weight than.

It's funny how except for Opie they all have readily-identifiable costumes now. Ant with the two shirts, Joe with the faux-biker clown wear, Jimmy with the garish and unflattering Sabbath tees, Sam with the gaudy sneakers and Artie with the filth-encrusted army jacket and the NY Giants beanie his mom got him for Xmas eleven years ago.

What's funny about Tony Two-Shirts is the lack of variation. He never mixes things up and goes with a long sleeve inner or outer, he never throws on a hoodie or a jacket, it's always tee shirt/short sleeve, unbuttoned, without fail. In fact it's one of the most jarring things about his hideous book cover, he isn't wearing his trademark two shirt costume and thus looks almost unrecognizable.