In this profile he looks almost identical to my uncle John who, oddly enough, drank himself to kidney failure.

How’s he doing these days? Has he heard of Compound Media?

He's the exact demographic CM targets but he's dead, you see.

He really went from normal out of shape middle age man to "Larry king" body in the span of a couple years.

its the HGH bloat

Thats's crippling depression and alcoholism for you.

I was going to say he looks like my friends dad named John that is currently drinking himself to death

"Hi, John..."

Scouting the streets of West Hollywood seeing what's up.

or in desperate need of money and fun.

“I’ve got mah Haash Piipe!”

Cumia, portrait of an elderly hustler.

Now that I would buy

Button that shirt and add some Brylcreem and he could be my local Italian barber on smoke break.

"Hey, you married? Of course not! How-a you gonna get married with a head like that, eh? Come inside..."

Nice ascites, stupid

Bootcut jeans ✔

Two shirts ✔

Nana glasses hanging on hos shirt like it's still the 80s ✔

Shitty footwear ✔

Lost in obscurity ✔

Although I don't dispute your checklist... What cut of jeans should a dude over 35 wear? I can't get used to the look/feel of any of the following: skinny cut, tapered and or cuffed, high waters, clam diggers, joe rogan manSpanx stretchy jeans.

I wear boots from fall to spring (red wing casual styke, mid height hikers, and similar). I hate the feeling of walking around with the entire boot showing like Arthur Morgan. Not Jnco or bell bottoms, but enough room in the lower leg to cover the top of my footwear and land at the ankle when standing.

*#DadJeansGorLife???

Well taper gives your legs the best look but if they’re not working for you, and skinny are too skinny, try a straight fit. I think that’s just a bit less baggy than bootcut so you can look like a cool dad.

How about just original straight cut instead of bell bottoms

All of those don't fit my birthing hips and thick quads (I'm not fat 6' 2" ~200lbs max). Maybe I resort to one of those online tailored clothes companies that I hear about on podcasts.

For regular Levi 501 jeans I would have to get a 40" waist, just for my upper legs and calves to fit... then need a jethro clampet rope belt tied tourniquet tight.

All of my non-tailored pants are "relaxed fit" which fit decently in the legs but I can't walk out of the house without a belt.

Just get the $10 Walmart jeans like the rest of us regular schnooks.

Stretchy waist Wranglers are in my closet.

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-a57b409abbe37e7547ddca17c53caa04-c

I’m just a very old whigger from the early 90’s, so I could never wear those tight pants I see these young faggots with. We used to laugh and call those jeans “nuthuggers.”

Are you really asking the fat faggots in the sub fashion advice?

SAMS CLUB jeans, my smart shopping Brothaman.

Nice old man, stiff beer stomach, stupid

fuckin’ way she goes...

"Oh! Hey, Sue! Small world, huh? Didn't think I would bump into you here while I was waiting to go to the next part of my big book tour. Yeah, I'm an author now. Number #1 on Amazon...COUGHingeneralbroadcastingCOUGH."

when did he get so old

Post-July 2014, he's been aging in dog years.

He really looks like shit in this video. It's one thing to watch him in front of a microphone but it looks like alcohol has ravaged him.

Those glasses,man.Has he been called sexy?

“See this parking meter? I didn’t feed it and now I’m looking at a steep fine. Whoops, ahah, whattayagonnado...But hey, I can afford it..”

Cruising West Hollywood with his man servant. Nothing gay about that

Dyke-uhl Madsen

Anthony should break into that hearse parked behind him and just lie down.

It's over, Johnny.

His torso is longer than his bottom half.

Shit happens

This fruit should have a pack of Marlboro rolled up under his sleeve

Actually, I think Kools or Newports would be a better fit for him.

“Hey, Sthailor! It must get lonely on that ship. My mouth is a place for good times.”

He looks like he would have a limp

He is lame.

This guy fucks