I've never witnessed another person congratulate themselves to the same extent Joe does in these rambling posts. This is a man who referred to himself as a decent, responsible and independent person in his own mother's eulogy.
I picture Joe typing this made up Facebook post as his crying daughter tugs on his arm where a sleeve should be, begging him to drive her to school. "Hang on, sweetie. Daddy is in the zone spinning a patriotic yarn."
You know how I know this is bullshit? I know two different guys who have a prosthetic leg. When they have long pants on you literally can't tell at all. One has a limp and the other one moves fine. And I doubt this guy was on a motorcycle in shorts.
"As I was riding a motorcycle at 55 MPH, my 10 year-old daughter - who is completely safe on my SAMCRO Chinese replica bike and strong enough to hold onto my savage oak trunk body for dear life - saw the clothed, prosthetic leg coming the other way. As we passed each other at 110 MPH, we had a completely legitimate, sincere conversation about the importance of service to our country.
Whether you served as a combat veteran or as a recipient of Utz's "Peel Those Potatoes, You Retard Mestizo" Scholarship for the 84th Airborne Division, the important thing is we served for your right to live freely unless we disagree with you, and then we think you should be silenced.
Now watch me play with my Looper.. DIGITECH... Looper"
The most valuable thing you can give your children is a loving and stable home with a mother and a father both present. Smashing your wife with a frying pan prevents this from happening.
"Actually, Sir, I don't really want to charge that enemy machine gun nest. It seems like a kind of stupid thing to do in the grand scheme of things. I want to help you guys out but I don't want to get killed doing it. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to sit this one out."
This 65 year old deadbeat is writing FB posts to other people his age on how to be a good parent. Most people in his age group probably have 30 year old children who have careers and children of their own, but this fucking loser feels the needs to give them parenting tips that a 22 year old would find trite. His daughter is going to hate him if she doesn’t already.
Most veterans would have realized why the guy lost it, realize he probably gets asked the question 50 thousand times a day, and decided to leave him be. Joe asked him for the sole purpose of being able to tell the one legged guy that HE SERVED TOO! What a fucking attention whore. I’m in the military and have never deployed and I try not to tell random people because it’s awkward as fuck getting thanked for your service when you haven’t done anything . The fact that Joe walks around trying to get people to thank him is so opposite of what the military should stand for. He volunteered, he got paid, he came home in one piece, move on. Reminisce with your boys when you see them but don’t expect society to treat you like a superhero.
The most valuable thing you can give to your child is YOUR TIME
And yet you still idolize the father who happily abandoned you and your siblings when he moved across the country to go play cowboy in the desert with a bunch of burly Mexicans.
But Joe, you don't teach your daughter to think independently! You indoctrinate her with your Fox news talking points and long winded, mastubatory rants day in and day out. Fucking retard.
He's right though. Those men that withstood constant German artillery strikes in some foxhole in Bastogne are in the same bracket as him and his unit, a group of guys who ran the risk of a variety of burns, cuts and profuse sweating in the Fort Bragg kitchen.
What the fuck dver happened to "we dont talk about it?!" JewU can't wait to blab about jumping off a wooden replica of an airplane 10 feet off the ground in peacetime nonetheless! Potato peeling faggot.
Why does anyone think that this retard actually had this conversation in real life. Everything he posts is made up bullshit, just like his nigger brother.
61 comments
1 McGowan9 2018-11-12
Me - "IED?"
David Brent would have too much self-awareness to ask this. Not Joe.
1 TheElDan 2018-11-12
This conversation happened almost verbatim on Jon Glaser Loves Gear
1 UhLookHereMan 2018-11-12
great show
1 no_one_inparticular 2018-11-12
No Joe I'm sure his leg was blasted off when a Decepticon attacked his base.
1 Anonymity_01 2018-11-12
Who is he talking to?
Why does he think a shiftless, mooching cover band homo is interesting?????
1 AndRiseAgain 2018-11-12
I've never witnessed another person congratulate themselves to the same extent Joe does in these rambling posts. This is a man who referred to himself as a decent, responsible and independent person in his own mother's eulogy.
He's fucking unbearable.
1 JustPooch 2018-11-12
"The most valuable thing you can give your children is YOUR TIME" - Joe Cumia, a man who can't get his kid to school on time dozens of times a year.
1 johnajapanda 2018-11-12
Or who along with his faggot brother couldn't give their mother 5 minutes of their time in the last 5 years of her life.
1 dropngo 2018-11-12
I picture Joe typing this made up Facebook post as his crying daughter tugs on his arm where a sleeve should be, begging him to drive her to school. "Hang on, sweetie. Daddy is in the zone spinning a patriotic yarn."
1 TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2018-11-12
You know how I know this is bullshit? I know two different guys who have a prosthetic leg. When they have long pants on you literally can't tell at all. One has a limp and the other one moves fine. And I doubt this guy was on a motorcycle in shorts.
1 McGowan9 2018-11-12
Some guy - "Where's your mom?"
Joe - "Mom's been dead for years. I really, really miss her."
Dawn - "Yeah, actually she isn't dead, she's just really sick. You and Anthony could come with me to visit her anytime."
Joe - "Nah, that would bum me out."
You mean to tell me a guy like Joe might have a tenuous grip on the truth?
1 RamonFrunkis 2018-11-12
"As I was riding a motorcycle at 55 MPH, my 10 year-old daughter - who is completely safe on my SAMCRO Chinese replica bike and strong enough to hold onto my savage oak trunk body for dear life - saw the clothed, prosthetic leg coming the other way. As we passed each other at 110 MPH, we had a completely legitimate, sincere conversation about the importance of service to our country.
Whether you served as a combat veteran or as a recipient of Utz's "Peel Those Potatoes, You Retard Mestizo" Scholarship for the 84th Airborne Division, the important thing is we served for your right to live freely unless we disagree with you, and then we think you should be silenced.
Now watch me play with my Looper.. DIGITECH... Looper"
1 Grunt_Thrust 2018-11-12
Balls deep is how I take it
1 tunisianknifer 2018-11-12
Four score and........GET TO THE POINT YOU FUCKING JAGOFF MIDDLE EASTERNER!!
1 rbtlrdoftkyo 2018-11-12
Just another timely coincidental happening. This man truly has a magical life
1 boringoneliner 2018-11-12
takes 4 hours out of his day to put together retarded facebook posts about how much of a great dad he is
1 McGowan9 2018-11-12
The most valuable thing you can give your children is a loving and stable home with a mother and a father both present. Smashing your wife with a frying pan prevents this from happening.
1 boringoneliner 2018-11-12
Yeah because your daughter has seen Forrest Gump, but still doesnt know what a prothesis is. Make your shit even MORE unbelievable. Faggot.
1 TheElDan 2018-11-12
That comment makes me wonder if Opie’s daughter accidentally got on his bike instead.
1 [deleted] 2018-11-12
[removed]
1 Kalikhead 2018-11-12
This is as long as Anthony’s book.
1 Christopher_Barton 2018-11-12
And just as honest.
1 RBuddCumia 2018-11-12
Something tells me he just learned how to use “impress” in this context and decided to write a Mo Jo essay around it.
1 Themenwithnoname 2018-11-12
Homeless people have more rights to bother people.
1 Dreamteam420 2018-11-12
What a fucking tool.Holy shit!This has to be a troll.
1 TheElDan 2018-11-12
What the hell does disrespecting police have to do with military service?
1 TheElDan 2018-11-12
And how is military service representative of the importance of independent thought? That’s completely antithetical to what the military is all about.
1 McGowan9 2018-11-12
Exactly.
"Actually, Sir, I don't really want to charge that enemy machine gun nest. It seems like a kind of stupid thing to do in the grand scheme of things. I want to help you guys out but I don't want to get killed doing it. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to sit this one out."
1 i_saw_nothing 2018-11-12
"I chopped potatoes at a fort in Arizona."
1 champ-chomp-chump 2018-11-12
Beautiful state.
1 Ed_Wuncler_Da_3rd 2018-11-12
I can never make it through an entire Joe post where he goes on and on like this. Ponderous, fucking ponderous.
1 Kenn_Kennerson 2018-11-12
Lol he has to shoehorn that peacetime service is the same as going to war
1 Justin-D 2018-11-12
Do you know how many times Joe cut himself peeling potatoes? Show some goddamn respect.
1 2hawt2sexxxi 2018-11-12
Joe "Whether you were a cook or a Ranger, we all are pretty much the same" Cumia
1 shickadantz 2018-11-12
This 65 year old deadbeat is writing FB posts to other people his age on how to be a good parent. Most people in his age group probably have 30 year old children who have careers and children of their own, but this fucking loser feels the needs to give them parenting tips that a 22 year old would find trite. His daughter is going to hate him if she doesn’t already.
1 ForceFeedNana 2018-11-12
Layla Golightly
1 JosefKWasArrested 2018-11-12
"...it makes you just a little more determined, focused, and capable than the average non-Vet."
This is true in many cases, just not in Joe's.
1 champ-chomp-chump 2018-11-12
He wishes.
1 SHITLORD_CUNTDICK 2018-11-12
"There" in this case being the Peeling Ward of the MAS*Hed Potatoes Unit.
1 RocoTheLoveMonkey 2018-11-12
There is NO WAY I am reading all that shit
1 AndRiseAgain 2018-11-12
Lol of course he had to get that one in there. This fucking bum is so transparent in everything he does.
1 quasi100 2018-11-12
this didn't happen /thread
1 Ants_Oily_Hair 2018-11-12
Sweet dear god, what an outstanding and incomprehensible embarrassment
1 cro-magnon_sam 2018-11-12
Holy shit this fucking wash womans blogs are exhausting.
1 ManiacalChrisBenoit 2018-11-12
"Teach your kids to THINK independently." Just wait till your daughter makes a joke when she's older about some Republican.
1 floppy666 2018-11-12
Most veterans would have realized why the guy lost it, realize he probably gets asked the question 50 thousand times a day, and decided to leave him be. Joe asked him for the sole purpose of being able to tell the one legged guy that HE SERVED TOO! What a fucking attention whore. I’m in the military and have never deployed and I try not to tell random people because it’s awkward as fuck getting thanked for your service when you haven’t done anything . The fact that Joe walks around trying to get people to thank him is so opposite of what the military should stand for. He volunteered, he got paid, he came home in one piece, move on. Reminisce with your boys when you see them but don’t expect society to treat you like a superhero.
1 yevyoyevyo 2018-11-12
Thank you for your service
1 floppy666 2018-11-12
About time someone showed some respect for someone who wrote a blank check made out to “freedom”
1 yevyoyevyo 2018-11-12
Ol brutally honest ass nigga
1 no_one_inparticular 2018-11-12
And yet you still idolize the father who happily abandoned you and your siblings when he moved across the country to go play cowboy in the desert with a bunch of burly Mexicans.
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2018-11-12
But Joe, you don't teach your daughter to think independently! You indoctrinate her with your Fox news talking points and long winded, mastubatory rants day in and day out. Fucking retard.
1 AtlanticCityAttorney 2018-11-12
No, I'm pretty sure it's a lot different when people are actually shooting and bombing you.
1 McGowan9 2018-11-12
He's right though. Those men that withstood constant German artillery strikes in some foxhole in Bastogne are in the same bracket as him and his unit, a group of guys who ran the risk of a variety of burns, cuts and profuse sweating in the Fort Bragg kitchen.
1 champ-chomp-chump 2018-11-12
Peeling potatoes and making mac and cheese for some reserves in the chow tent.
Peeling your fellow solider’s mangled body off of you while taking machine gun fire because you were hit with an IED.
Same thing, guys!!!
1 MrTimSmith 2018-11-12
Think independently unless it goes against the previous paragraphs of bullshit I just typed. Then you better do as I say!
1 TheDreidelMan 2018-11-12
This reads like Joe was unaware of the guy being uncomfortable talking about it and embarrassed for Joe.
1 3stepsbackward 2018-11-12
Joe "Virtuous" Cumia is at it again. I'm glad he took 3 hours out of his day of leeching to write this.
1 LetnigFeceOfBags 2018-11-12
What the fuck dver happened to "we dont talk about it?!" JewU can't wait to blab about jumping off a wooden replica of an airplane 10 feet off the ground in peacetime nonetheless! Potato peeling faggot.
1 heyrube1979 2018-11-12
I'm not reading that
1 dimetera413 2018-11-12
Why does anyone think that this retard actually had this conversation in real life. Everything he posts is made up bullshit, just like his nigger brother.
1 PM_ME_MASTECTOMY 2018-11-12
And I tell my daughter to never be an officer or join the military because she’s better than that.