They Got Me

1  2018-10-30 by F_H_Rileys_MaitreD

I just came from a Jewish-owned store and my stomach started aching real bad as I was walking out and luckily I was only 1.5 blocks from bome because I had diarrhea. Now, I could blame this on mild food poisoning from Boston Market, but I prefer to think that the Jews were aiming an ultrasonic pulse at my intestines. Oh man this is bad...

13 comments

its a shame it didnt kill you

Aww fuck you, you kike. My stomach and asshole are churning violently and all because I know about the existence of the weather machine. I will not be silenced.

eat a piece of challah and drink a little ShopRite seltzer before bed than masturbate.

Don't worry, it's just pancreatic cancer. I hear it's spreading around.

That's shitty.

It’s rapid onset. It happened as I was getting up to exit the store. Oh, you Talmudic BASTARDS. 60,000 of you die 80 years ago and I almost have to shit my pants??

this is weak

So is my stomach’s ability to retain food right now, you fuck!!

good

Your tribe new they couldn’t get me through usury, drugs, liquor, marketing, white guilt, and the other tools of destruction you use, so your agents caused me physical illness. Nice.

have a glass of water

I’m going to drink this low carb monster with the claw grapbic that may or may not double as a Jewish dreidel symbol. Either the seltzer will help settle my stomach it will blow rest if the contests right out of there.

It might well be an old wives tale, but Iv heard that tying electrical cable between your neck and a sturdy household fixture is a good cure for a stomach upset