Please be Sam, please be Sam.

Then please kill Sam first

[deleted]

Suicide by cop while screaming 'Feed Nana'

I haven't seen it, but I heard it was good.

Go to your parents house, build a large template that spells out "SURPRISE!" or "I'M GAY!", put it up against the wall behind you, rig a shotgun to an elaborate set of pulleys so when they come home it'll blow your brains all over the wall behind you. When they're scrubbing up all the blood they'll take down the template and see the message. If nothing else your dad will probably be a little impressed with your jigsaw work.

Wow that was detailed. Someone's put some thought into this

It's how my son Elliott committed suicide in 1999. I miss him every day.

Im...I'm sorry

It's horrible to say but sometimes I wish I could just forget about him altogether... sometimes remembering the good times is the hardest part. Some nights I'll have vivid dreams where he never died and I'm so fucking indescribably happy for those few minutes I get to be with my boy, just doing something mundane like driving around or making him breakfast just for it all to be stripped away and have the reality that he's gone crush me.

I really shouldn't have opened this old wound. I'm going to have to go get a drink at St. Louis Casino Queen and stick around for Rich Vos' performance. That always lifts my spirits a little.

Be a son to Joyami and fill the gap

I do my best for little Travis.

Edited to make sense 😁😬

rig a shotgun to an elaborate set of pulleys

Colloquially known as a toe trigger attachment.

Did you get raped in a hot tub at a high school party?

can i kill you

put a wide sharp knife to your throat tip first but at a slight angle so it will slice through and stand up straight and fall forward on your hands around the handle

it wont kill you fast and it will hurt a lot but if you dont flinch or drop it you will definitely bleed out

Did you get raped in a hot tub at a high school party?

Don't forget to fill out the donor card bro

And roit in pee

Say hi to shiteinabucket

About time.

Try the Young MC approach to feeling better. In your head, repeat the following lyrics until a smile appears on your face: "A girl starts walking, guys start gawking. Sits down next to you and starts talking. Says she wants to dance cause she likes to groove So come on fatso and just bust a move".

This is a bit dramatic for that Jim & Sam contract extension, isn't it?

Don't do it, stupid.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cycUHgg0zzU

My suggestion? Yeah join some relief organization. It’s hard to feel useless when you are needed. I’m sort of joking but I always thought if I were suicidal I’d just leave everything behind and go volunteer overseas somewhere. You can always kill yourself later, but you can only do it once.

You either do it with a nuclear bomb or don’t do it at all. Also get some help.

Drink fabreeze on live stream then shit yourself for 3 days straight because that's all drinking fabreeze will do, then claim you're a virtuous pedophile, then move into a half way house where they make you go to bed at 10, then talk about how you have fantasies about fucking ponies. All internet suicides are exactly the same.

Put a bunch of rusty fish hooks up your ass and wait to die of septic shock.

Phone up Brother Joe, give him the address to your house and 30 minutes later, your cock is sucked and have 40 bullet holes put in your body.

If youre having thoughts of suicide or of hurting yourself, please talk to somebody. 1-800-273-8255 somebody there can help you. Otherwise, these guys have some good ideas.

Permanent solution to a temporary problem my dude.

Think of the mess you’d leave behind then don’t do it. For real you’ll just disturb a loved one or innocent bystander/clean up crew.

Go to Dumb Pound studio in NYC. Your head will explode immediately.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ DM me if you wish. Stop doing drugs, go for a walk, drink water and stay off the internet for a week,