It took 2 ghostwriters to write this garbage. 2.

Ro and Killakuhn's dead kid would have been better

”Eghhhh-fended!”

I am fairly sure we are looking at where their paychecks stopped. This is the beginning of the "rise again" section and there are 10 pages left by the looks of it. It also reads like someone spoke into a mic and typed out verbatim what was said.

I'm confident that the last page will be "To Be Continued..."

ewwwwwww

oh I'm sure that's exactly how it was done. ant's not the writer type, not a whole book anyway. he did the same thing kevin pollak did with his "book". tell stories to a guy, he transcribes them, and presto, you got a book.

thats how most famous peoples books are done...99.9% of them.

Oh yeah? Is that how the cunt queen's book was done too, you British faggot?

i'm a republican. I care not for that german cunt. And don't call me british. I'm english.

English is a Germanic language.

I bet you feel silly now.

No?

Pollak's book was great, though. The story of him meeting De Niro at the Beverly Hilton to talk about Casino is fucking amazing. At least with Pollak you get the perspective of a fan or regular guy that's in all these amazing places going "what the fuck am I doing here."

He's bouncing back.

I really want to see what it looked like before the punch ups. Probably a blank page with Bud Light stains and crushed up Xannie residue on it.

And most likely some residual sue goo.

Anthony never "punches up" which in my opinion has always been very problematic

You can to get faster and intenser release. Swallowing the pill form slows the release. Same reason people snort Vicodin

Anybody that snorts a Vicodin should be shot in the face.

You are a retard if youre snorting tylenol

I assume that one guy transcribed the recordings and the other guy wrangled those transcriptions into "book" form.

And then we went upstairs and i talked to Luis and said Luis "You guys better stop it!" And Luis said to me "Ok." Then we both went downstairs and he talked to them all. I went to bed.

Why do you have this

I refuse to buy this book but I want to dissect every inch of lies and hypocritical bullshit with a highlighter.

You can probably find it somewhere to download illegally.

I'll have my kid steal it. And if I imagine the cops closing in on me I'll speed through an intersection... well, you know the rest. Hopscotch to safety.

Wasn't that dipshit caught trying to hide up a tree?

was actually a bush

but i feel we both missed a chance for a racist monkey joke

tears in the rain i suppose

chocolate rain

you talk a big game now, but we all know that in your panic you’ll end up leaving it in the vestibule

That shitty book is going to be a gold mine of material for this sub for a long time. Can't wait.

Also might try Interlibrary loan.

Yeah right gonna be on loan forever brah!

The next great project for this sub will be releasing an amended and edited version of this thing which also happens to have a superior writing style.

Nice triple-spacing with giant font to fill up a boom. Not exactly a Tom Clancy novel is it.

no need for bifocals. knows his audience. a+

He must have had input from the poker gang.

Why the FUCK does the picture not have a caption?

I'll do it.

"HA HA HA! HO LEE SHIT!"

I feel like every word should have an ellipse after it

I'll purchase it at Goodwill within the year.

Cregg Schinkel's autobiography.

Schinkel bout it

Schinkel bout it

Oh god is he repeating the oil in the pool joke from the Big Jay roast?

I watched that with normals and they couldn't get over how ugly Ant was

Jesus christ. The page Keith decided to share is full of boring shit I've heard a million times. This book is going to be terrible.

Someone running an esteemed network doesn't have time to write a book about it.

He's an old man complaining about kids using his pool. He literally has nothing interesting going on in his life worthy of writing a book about.

A legitimate political talk show where the host freezes up like a rodent in a cars headlights when the guests quibble.

There's no correlation between shows about how much respect one person gets.

A sentence that doesn't make sense.

​

Great SN. How did I not notice thag before?

I am not even sure what he is trying to say. "Sometimes we treat guests like shit, sometimes we don't and is no reasoning behind it!"

Fascinating insight into a media professional's brain.

This stupid wop doesn't know what the word "correlation" means.

He couldn't stay sober the four lousy times he sat down to work on it? My God.

From context I think he means "coordination"

Ghost written by Ro.

There is no correlation between that sentence.

I was like sure while you're at it why don't you fuck my wife? Ayyyyyyy

AGOOOOOSH!

I thought at first this sentence was about Bobo’s underage sister and her friend, and that Nana expected to be blown first, before the fucking pool

Oh yeah?

is it reasonable?

As reasonable as Joe Rogan is short.

Very, if you catch my drift.

"One time" never precedes a good story.

"One of the first shows we started producing was Legions of Skanks, with Luis J Gomez. He's since moved on to bigger and better things than hosting a podcast from my basement/kid-rape dungeon for $100 a pop and has now eclipsed my laughable network with Gas Digital...

I miss Opie..."

• Nana Cumia.

I wonder if Roe has a dedication? I swear if Roe doesn't get a mention or a special thanks I want him to die a slow pancreatic death.

Counterpoint: bringing her up would make Ant sad. Why would he want that?

Maybe I’ll buy one, send it to China, and have 1000 copies made to sell here. Use the cash to fund more documentrees

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/hardcover-books-printing-cd-replication-with_60006847477.html

hoo hoo

I live in China so anytime fam

WE WORLDWIDE NOW

Didnt Mao block reddit?

Breaking news: VPN exists

I’m sure Joe could direct you to the nearest Simmon & Schulster Publishing for all your discount publishing needs.

Make sure one of those copies gets mailed to killakuhn in prison with “best wishes from r/opieandanthony.

Wow. It's worse than I imagined.

Did they really "produce" the Legion of Skanks episodes or did they just let them use their shitty studio? I remember they used to just leave the green screen folded up on the sides and the staff still managed to fuck up the production. I'd wish terrible things on Anthony but I already know that he's living in a hell of his own making.

They "produced" them in that they paid them. Same way I'm a "professional" musician in that my band got paid $10 from the door once.

Only tweens are allowed in the pool

”Eghhhh-fended!”

Lmao this reads like he’s a movie star from the 50s recounting stories from the Golden Age of show-business, complete with a grainy photo of his shitty McMansion wop pool. Ever wanna hear behind the scenes anecdotes about stoned manchildren hanging out in a disgraced shock jocks basement? This is the book for you!

Ever wanna hear behind the scenes anecdotes about stoned manchildren hanging out in a disgraced shock jocks basement? This is the book for you!

we got 100,000 subscribers, i tell ya!

I refuse to believe this took more than 2 days to write.

Imagine if Ant retired from radio and left Twitter after he was fired. If he had just done that, this sub (his last remaining fans) would still love him. We all would've bought his book, eager to read about our favorite radio host during his golden years.

I have zero interest in reading how Nana mixes his bud light with xanax, angrily tweets until 4 in the morning and passes out on the couch.

"legitimate political talk show"

You know, Nana's degrees and years of public service have really qualified her to discuss political strategy and current events. It truly is amazing what a natural she is considering her humble beginnings. Fun fact, Ben Franklin never had a degree either, and Thomas Paine was a corset maker.

Who would have thought a high school dropout wasn't cut out to author a book?

Everyone except the one guy who should've, in this case.

Epilogue: Nana Still Feeding The Masses

Christ. I knew it would be bad, but this is much worse than I expected. He could have gifted an Xbox to a 14 year old in return for shit like this.

Looks like printer paper. Not even considering the content that book would give me a headache to read.

Wow a giant photo of something not interesting at all happening!

Not caption either. Who are those people? What show are they filming? When was this? Is that LoS being filmed? Because that is what the surrounding content is about.

Could someone be a good sport and transcribe this for your low vision friends?

want, and the next show might be squeaky clean. There’s no correlation between shows about how much respect one person gets. One show might be doing goofy shit, and another might be a legitimate political talk show. I just want shows where people can speak freely, and that doesn’t happen with any other form of broadcasting.

PHOTO

PICTURED: Anthony, guest, $79.99 Target patio bar set, teen girl in bikini, and did you know he has a pool?

One of the first shows we started producing was Legion of Skanks, with Luis J. Gomez, Dave Smith, and Big Jay Oakerson. One of their gimmicks is having a live audience around them that’s constantly smoking weed. The only thing is, my studio is in my house. They’d come over with their fans, otherwise known as their "Legion of Skanks.” I now have these three guys doing the show with their fans in my basement. When the show was over one time, these fucking skanks decided it was okay to take a dip in my pool. I was like, “Sure! While you’re at it, why

Thanks. Lord’s work and whatnot. That’s fucking terrible.

Good job subtitling your shitty photos, Nana.

They're called captions, you twat.

In conclusion, Nassau County is a land of contrasts.

He got the names of the LOS guys correct, I'll give him that...

Nice cheap, thin paper, stupid.

This dope recorded an audiobook. Doesn't realize that we're going to chop it up and use it to make him confess to all kinds of crimes

To be fair, much of his audience can't read, so it was the only way to get sales.

When Stanhope did his audiobook, he got the people mentioned in the book to come in and record a rebuttal to his story, including his ex girlfriend. You think Dani and Stettin are going to come in and say a few words?

You know there's decades of radio for that, right?

I hope whatever happens people don't splice him saying shit he never did. That would be wrong.

Why do the words stop there on the page when I can see bleed through 2 lines down on the next page? Also, that photo is so grainy no one could tell who those people are unless you already know them. I have no idea who the guy on the right is, and there is no caption. Also, why is that picture even there?

Why do the words stop there on the page when I can see bleed through 2 lines down on the next page?

Nice starting every other sentence with the same word,”One”, stupid.

Lol that happens like 8 times in that picture, this book is going to give us a lot of entertainment

This appears to be the kind of book a literate adult could read in ten minutes, followed by thirty minutes of shame.

He’s 90% of the way through the book and still referring to Norton as “Jim Norton”. This guy was desperate to meet his word count.

he really is a nana. writing pages about living in his house and having disrespectful guests touching his things.

"the kids leave half-finished Cokes all over the goddamned house. tweens these days."

For Ant, $1.75 soda cans and $10 in lost AC is too expensive a trade for their anal virginity and lifelong innocence. He really is a cheap fuck.

He's about half a year away from covering all of his furniture in plastic.

1 abusive alcoholic felon

plus 2 alcoholic ghost writers

equals 224 pages for $17.70, down from $27.99

To be fair all the good books go on sale before they are released.

Do they?

"They brought all these overage girls around and they thought it was okay to take a dip in my pool! 'Sure!,' I said. 'Pollute my 5-and-unders-only pool with your menstrual cycles!"

You can literally see through that dogshit paper he’s using in this “book”.

That's good paper, considering that this book costs only 27$

"There's no correlation between shows about how much respect one person gets."

What the fuck does that mean, how much xanax was he on when he wrote that?

You mean when he mumbled it into the voice recording app of one of his bored ghost writers?

Nice thin paper you can see the words from the other pages through.

Also it looks like there was a picture on the page before this one. I remember doing that when I had reports in school to stretch the length of the report out when I didn’t want to write anymore.

So, are there any new Opie stories or intel?

Oh boy this book is gonna be bad. That top paragraph and bottom paragraph are two totally different ideas and isn't cohesive

Why would anyone read a book written by a racist unless you're a racist?

"I just want shows where people can speak freely"

"Unless it hurts my fee-fees"

lol, he can't connect sentences

This reminds me of Private Parts

"OPIE, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Nice double spaced lines to avoid writing content, stupid

I still can't believe this asshole thought he should write a book, and centered it around getting kick off of twitter.

how much is the hardcover copy?

This book will be in the $1 bin on Black Friday. A lot of disappointed relatives will receive this thoughtless gift.

Yes I plan to get it for my grandma lol who the fuck is giving this as a gift?

Cover ripped off and in the bins at Goodwill by Valentine's Day.

LOL he's still complaining about them greasing up his pool

chapo fag

Is this a book or a fucking diary?

I was like, "Sure! While you're at it, why ..."

I'd really like to know what the punchline there is so I will have to buy the book.

I guarantee it was the "come over to my house and fuck my sister" quote from Full Metal Jacket.

My 7 year old brought home a book from the library yesterday with the same font size and spacing, but it didn't have any pictures.

I assume Ant's book is on a reading level catered to the callers who say "I was laughing so hard I almost ran into an abutment."

"abutment"? Is that what he shoves up his ass before Sue eats him?

Get the fuck outta here, his trucker fans wouldn't know the word.

Oh boy, he really has nothing to say, does he. Nine full sentences on one page with a GIGANTIC picture of nothing in particular occurring. It looks like more of a pamphlet than a book. He also tells a story like an eight year old. "One time this one thing happened and then the other time this other thing happened and then I bought a dinosaur and"

I think the worst thing to happen to Cumia is that he's so fucking dull now. But on the other hand, this Jehova's Witness handout will be a fascinating insight into how nothing was ever his fault.

Nana should've just done a coloring book like CQ.

For all the shit Keith gets for being a bumbling fool he still doesn't get enough of it.

that photo is from his very first show when this entire sub thought he was going to take the podcasting world by storm. it turned out to be a very light drizzle

He got lost.

The book reads like Joe Cumia was one of his ghost writers.

This is as bad as everyone thought it would be.

(Rolls eyes)Then what happened?

I don’t remember anything from English class worth a shit but , if I recall, that is an example of redundancy which my teacher said is the sign of an uncreative writer. So there is another thing he fucking sucks at. Shocking.

Schinkel bout it

Schinkel bout it

WE WORLDWIDE NOW

Didnt Mao block reddit?

English is a Germanic language.

I bet you feel silly now.

Yes I plan to get it for my grandma lol who the fuck is giving this as a gift?