I used to think Jim Norton was a fag. I used, but I still do. Too.

I don’t have a girlfriend...but I do know a man who would very upset I said that.

Jim Norton should be put into a mayonnaise jar with a stick and a leaf to recreate what he's used to.

When the escalator becomes stairs, Norton runs to the manager and complains aabout the convenience.

On level he's not wrong but on another level he's implying that if he started drinking, he would die.

Jimmy is the very definition of a complete lack of self-awareness. He has no understanding of himself whatsoever.

"If you are flammable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you're Blair's cousin Jerry HA HA HO LEE SHIT"

Something happened with Pringles? Getting potatoes instead of tennis balls was ruled accidental? There was some kind of, uh, uh, something not... how am I trying to say this? It was changed, what they thought happened.

A loaf of bread and some more people.

I saw Jim eating a grape, and I said, “Dude, you need to wait!”

Where the fuck'd you get that banana at?

Mitch was never funny and I'm glad he died miserably.