I'd give her a smooch as we both talk about how ugly and repulsive Sam is.

This is what we call 'kayfabing the gut.' See also Ant pretending like the air is cold and he really needs to keep his whole body underwater.

But Peyton is very attractive.

Manning?

I suspect Sam could stand bolt upright, buck naked, and no-one could tell if he was erect.

(It's a long-winded "tiny dick" joke, but I'm sticking with it)

Due to his evolutionary state, he. Can’t actually stand all the way upright.

That probably made his year

if she was truly brave, she'd have done this to his mutilated cock.

Is there a tray of McNuggets behind her or something?

Can't blame him. I'd probably have to tape it to the inside of my belt. That Peyton Royce is a real cock stiffener, if you catch my drift.

He wants to taste where Daniel Bryan and John Cena leave their jizz.

Reminds me of the time I was at Planet Hollywood and got to feel up the Rocky Dennis face.

Sam wants to sniff her fingers & smell John Cena's ballsack

I'd make sure my rod was on full display. Who knows? Maybe one of them would be in a generous mood and offer me a pity beej.