My favourite breakfast is I place two eggs into boiling water and then I stare at a picture of my kids back when I used to live with them, and by the time I've constructed a mental dialogue of the conversation we'd be having if I was still a meaningful part of their life, it's time to pop the toast in, then I take the eggs out of the boiling water and run them under cold water and then I peel them, butter the toast, and then slice each egg in half over a slice of toast, and then I dust with a pinch of garlic powder and a twist of grated sea salt and peppercorns, and breakfast is served.
This sub really MOTHERFUCKED me. They KNOW I'm a recovering food addict and these SCUMBAGS post fucking EGG YOLKS right on the front page.
But it doesnt bother me too much, genuinely. I would tell you if it did. Legitimately.
This image wouldn't blow his mind. That is exactly how Jim would cook eggs if he had to do it himself. The burner is glowing so the pan is way too hot, one of the eggs has a broken yolk, the egg being cracked into the pan is going to have a broken yolk when it hits the pan, and there's egg spilled all over the stove. This guy in the photo is a fucking idiot and so is James Nordstrom.
The key is to use a flat surface, like the side of a knife. Gently (but firmly) tap the shell, and then use your fingers to separate the two halves. Then take the knife and thrust it in your chest, below the sternum and slightly left-of-center.
33 comments
1 boogsuge 2018-09-26
Breakfast is the easiest Shit to make, It’s right up there with grilled cheese.
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-26
Please post your recipes
1 ManHash 2018-09-26
American cheese lightly toasted on a plain Panera bagel.
1 Treeckosis 2018-09-26
I like a nice poached egg over buttered sourdough toast with avocado, mustard and almonds.
1 CokeFloatsInMaCup 2018-09-26
ME: yogurt and hot steel cut Oates brotherman!
Dropping hammers!
1 bickbickersonisafag 2018-09-26
My favourite breakfast is I place two eggs into boiling water and then I stare at a picture of my kids back when I used to live with them, and by the time I've constructed a mental dialogue of the conversation we'd be having if I was still a meaningful part of their life, it's time to pop the toast in, then I take the eggs out of the boiling water and run them under cold water and then I peel them, butter the toast, and then slice each egg in half over a slice of toast, and then I dust with a pinch of garlic powder and a twist of grated sea salt and peppercorns, and breakfast is served.
1 Gr8Chan 2018-09-26
Thanks for the blog-post.
1 SensibleKeks 2018-09-26
YOLK? DELET THIS!!
1 xD_in_2016 2018-09-26
This sub really MOTHERFUCKED me. They KNOW I'm a recovering food addict and these SCUMBAGS post fucking EGG YOLKS right on the front page.
But it doesnt bother me too much, genuinely. I would tell you if it did. Legitimately.
1 l0v3s2sp00ge 2018-09-26
Nice haircut, stupid.
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-26
The man knows how to cook eggs, who is stupid now Jim?!
1 GryllslyBear 2018-09-26
To be fair, the haircut is rather awful.
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-26
Worse than a 50 year old man who cannot feed himself and yet has possibly fed Nana?
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2018-09-26
EASY! He's a civilian for Pete's sake!
1 tranthonycumiashow 2018-09-26
Funny how Jim supposedly eats healthy and goes to the gym but still looks like he has HI-
​
ooooohhhhh.....
1 JosefKWasArrested 2018-09-26
Jim is healthy like Anthony is having fun.
1 9-11TowerDiving 2018-09-26
Can you get eggs into the city?
1 MCLyleStyle 2018-09-26
Anyone who eats egg whites without yolks is a faggot ass bitch.
1 Dirty_Deebs 2018-09-26
He probably filters the protein out of his semen too
1 paulallens 2018-09-26
I've never heard such succinct dietary advice.
1 PepperTheCentaur 2018-09-26
"Chef Ramsay, do you put the mustard in before or after scrambling the eggs?"
1 TrievelGoesSouth 2018-09-26
"Or no?"
1 Superbad415 2018-09-26
I don’t like that fact he cracked his yolk this dummy.
1 revolvingmonk 2018-09-26
What kind of idiot would crack an egg into a pan from the height? Yolk will break every time. Hope he splashed hot oil all over his crotch.
1 Superbad415 2018-09-26
Yeah his eggs suck.
1 McGowan9 2018-09-26
Fucking idiot.
1 Superbad415 2018-09-26
You’re not kidding. Looks like he’s cooking on high too. His eggs are bubbling up way to hard
1 ProfessorChipperson 2018-09-26
“Yeah man, I saw some eggs with yolks in them and got such a craving, I had to run out of the diner and call my sponsor.”
1 revolvingmonk 2018-09-26
This image wouldn't blow his mind. That is exactly how Jim would cook eggs if he had to do it himself. The burner is glowing so the pan is way too hot, one of the eggs has a broken yolk, the egg being cracked into the pan is going to have a broken yolk when it hits the pan, and there's egg spilled all over the stove. This guy in the photo is a fucking idiot and so is James Nordstrom.
1 UhLookHereMan 2018-09-26
Wouldn't want to make any gains or increase strength, now would we?
1 AyeThatsAGoodNagger 2018-09-26
2005 Jim Norton would’ve gone on a disgusted, self-hating rant about not knowing how to crack an egg.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2018-09-26
The key is to use a flat surface, like the side of a knife. Gently (but firmly) tap the shell, and then use your fingers to separate the two halves. Then take the knife and thrust it in your chest, below the sternum and slightly left-of-center.
1 slothlivesmatter 2018-09-26
James Morton could have saved 25K by not having appliances in his apartment. Think of how many tokens he could have had.
1 timallenonacid 2018-09-26
hair, sideburns and goatee are infuriating
1 cabaretcabaret 2018-09-26
Alarmy, can I get that on my phone or no?
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-26
Please post your recipes
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-26
Worse than a 50 year old man who cannot feed himself and yet has possibly fed Nana?