Sorry for the delay - Sam Doc update

406  2018-09-26 by porsalin

I'm literally in a cycle of writing, recording and editing and have heard nothing but Sam Roberts for 2 weeks straight. I'm really not far off - just passed the 1-hour mark in Premiere. With the interviews etc it's just taken way longer than the others.

I have 2 segments left to write/record so it should be ready for the weekend. I like it a lot more than the others too and am pretty excited about putting it out.

Thanks to the patreon folk too - it helped pay for much needed energy-providing take out.

Back to work...

158 comments

1  Opesterino 2018-09-26

Take you time,. it will be well worth the wait.

BTW fuck sam and TYFYS!

1  Czar662 2018-09-26

“have heard nothing but Sam Roberts for 2 weeks straight”

You poor man. For your exhaustive efforts, we bend the knee.

1  knitro 2018-09-26

Like a detective having to review grisly crime scene photos, his sacrifice is for our benefit.

1  thoughts_n_prayers 2018-09-26

TURN IT OFFFF

1  theropers 2018-09-26

TURRRROFFFF

1  semihat 2018-09-26

You've heard nothing but Sam Roberts for 2 weeks straight?

1  Newborn_Fleshlyte 2018-09-26

And my ass

1  drummachineanthems 2018-09-26

thank you for your service brotha' man!

1  barosa 2018-09-26

This man's sacrifice will not be forgotten.

1  DanishJimmy 2018-09-26

You may have my daughter, sir

1  I_Hate_Knickers_3 2018-09-26

That's a stupid name for a daughter.

1  Bakersfield__Chimp 2018-09-26

I can suck on your dick if that will help.

1  AOTV88 2018-09-26

I'll take the balls.

1  rsroot 2018-09-26

Save room for daddy!

1  Lish_fips89 2018-09-26

I'll be the target for the load of champions.

1  Ant_Sucks 2018-09-26

I want to see the Sam Doc! Hopefully docking with the Titanic.

1  MonsterSteve 2018-09-26

I read this in Scott Shannon’ voice

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

I GOT A BIT ON MY HOUSE

1  jeffyoungguns 2018-09-26

Take your time, I’m just glad you’re making it. I’m sure watching you rip that Neanderthal to shreds will be worth the wait.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I'm fast running out of nigger/neanderthal/simian references too...

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

How about missing link/sasquatch?

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I think we covered the whole 'Missing Link' thing in the intro!

1  MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-09-26

Then don't forget the tried classics of Sideshow Bob and Art Garfunkel.

1  Lasagna_Hat 2018-09-26

The Bob Ross abomination

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

I shouldn't have fucking watched that intro, I was influenced

1  Dr-Seepage 2018-09-26

Homo-hobbyist

1  AOTV88 2018-09-26

High yellow shit ape.

1  kingship75 2018-09-26

You should include a fake sponsorship from Jack Link's Jerky. It's a commercial series here in the States featuring Sasquatch.

1  holodog 2018-09-26

GEICO is so easy Sam Roberts could do it

1  kingship75 2018-09-26

This is a better idea.

1  ElFaporino 2018-09-26

"So easy Sam could do it with zero prep showing 5 minutes ahead"

1  crookedmile 2018-09-26

I'm fast running out of nigger references too...

This is unacceptable. C'mon boys, the man needs help here

1  OutlawMemer 2018-09-26

Sootback, tar baby, moon-cricket, porch monkey, Monday, bluegums, pavement ape, dindu, and jigaboo.

There, I've done my part.

1  ElFaporino 2018-09-26

Don't forget Shine, Moolie, spear chucker, Burr head, raisin head and spook

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

Don't forget Basketball-Americans

1  OutlawMemer 2018-09-26

spear-chucker

I am ashamed of myself.

1  ElFaporino 2018-09-26

You nailed some rather obscure ones

1  roberto-plant 2018-09-26

Does anyone remember when Ron asked Black Earl which words he wanted to ban, resulting in an hour of Earl being pelted with racial explitives?

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

For my money moon-cricket is a wise investment.

1  rahtin 2018-09-26

A lot of people became very rich with that mindset.

1  JuulSantana 2018-09-26

mud people

1  RamonFrunkis 2018-09-26

Gooback

Jakovasaur

Starvin' Marvin

Tony Morrison

1  [deleted] 2018-09-26

[removed]

1  Ichise-san 2018-09-26

how bout paleolithic primate or miocene mooncricket. i dnno i got nothin

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I like paleolithic - thanks

1  Dr-Seepage 2018-09-26

A charcoal briquette

1  AnthonyDLC 2018-09-26

Milk chocolate black Annie

1  Uboat1940 2018-09-26

Did you say anything about the scientific oddity of this primitive man impregnating a modern day woman.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

Not yet but it's a good shout for one of my remaining 'family' segments

1  BeigeFrequency 2018-09-26

How about "Creature of forgotten aeons" or the simpler "Troglodyte."

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

Haha yeah i've used troglodyte - it's in my AJ Poopieshitz paragraph:

Having received unpardonable encouragement from fellow staff as to his comedy chops, Sam would later debut his exciting new character to the show to a disastrously awkward reception. The humourless troglodyte would portray Joe Cumia’s antithesis - a gay-sounding but enthusiastic heterosexual.

1  BeigeFrequency 2018-09-26

Less is more, in my opinion. Play it straight for the most part and use the funniest insults sparingly. People always notice when I laugh or use an uncharacteristically mean descriptor. Maybe I over think things though lol

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I think thankfully I can probably get away with hiding a few more of the silly insults given it juxtaposes with me doing a BBC style voice with the whole soundtrack and what not. But you're right, it's about that balance. I'm trying not to be too jokey and still try and tell the story so hopefully I've done that. Sam reads quite well so far and I personally like it. Then again I'm long past the point of knowing what I'm even saying!

1  BeigeFrequency 2018-09-26

You certainly have more leeway with your BBC presenter voice. Most Americans melt when they hear it. I'm really curious about how this documentary plays out, especially with interviews from o&a staff.

I know the feeling of not knowing what you're saying. I'm about 3000 words into the next ACDW and don't know where I am at this point lol

1  AnthonyDLC 2018-09-26

How about niger of questionable stock

1  dreadnaught2010 2018-09-26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APTrXuaGoe0

3 minutes in

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

Haha that's so fucking disgusting. God I wish this man was dead.

1  dreadnaught2010 2018-09-26

It's really sad how much I'm looking forward to your caveman doc

1  SpeckofCoppah 2018-09-26

Please, take my wife !

1  suirogerg 2018-09-26

Now now, why steal Rich Vos jokes at a time like this?

1  MonsterSteve 2018-09-26

What, you don’t like listening to Wrestling and Tendies talk 24/7?? goat laugh

1  halfwholediminished 2018-09-26

heheheheheheh

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

Where we at with the work ethic, Porsalin?

I'm just kidding of course, take as much time as necessary.

1  Jackthejew 2018-09-26

Michaelangelos David took years

1  Torontothrowawayhd 2018-09-26

Why did it take so long?

1  0xAncientHist0ry 2018-09-26

Had to get the hog right.

1  Nah_Ming 2018-09-26

You call that a hog?

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

In person it is. That one I saw in Vegas is like a 3rd scale of the real one and that guy is still Shaq-like in height.

1  Jackthejew 2018-09-26

Lazy

1  TedsEmporiumEmporium 2018-09-26

The thing is solid marble, 17 feet tall, and a masterpiece of depicting the male form in sculpture. I don't blame him for taking his time.

1  Torontothrowawayhd 2018-09-26

But 2 years?

1  UNDERAGEGRAPIST 2018-09-26

Yeah I could do that shit in 2 years. What a faggot.

1  imcrapyall 2018-09-26

Whats stopping you?

1  dmix 2018-09-26

Heterosexuality, he keeps making tits and fucking it up

1  open-and-honest 2018-09-26

How long do you think would be appropriate?

1  TedsEmporiumEmporium 2018-09-26

Sagrada Família is still unfinished and it began construction in 1882. True art has no deadline.

1  Lasagna_Hat 2018-09-26

Favorite history story: Antoni Gaudi, the architect, the was walking to mass and got hit by a horse and buggy. They thought he was poor and took him to the poor hospital. They didn't realize until the next day that he was Spain's most famous architect. Died before they could get him to a respectable hospital.

1  dmix 2018-09-26

Well, that's just what artists get for not showering.

1  mightyqueef 2018-09-26

You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded

1  TedsEmporiumEmporium 2018-09-26

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

1  deepdirt 2018-09-26

Have you seen how far off the original concept it has become?

1  [deleted] 2018-09-26

[removed]

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1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

Dude you really are the greatest

1  ChippySez 2018-09-26

Jesus Christ, listening to Fred Roberts for two whole weeks would make me lose my fucking mind.

1  deep_legal_shit 2018-09-26

Guarantee he's been having nightmares with Sam in them

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-26

He's a true hero

1  Psych555 2018-09-26

Sam paid you off to delay the release until after negotiations.

1  sobersally 2018-09-26

I seriously wonder if the worm doc played even a tiny part in the negotiations. It cannot be good to have the first mic portrayed like such a clown.

1  Hamburger212 2018-09-26

can we Venmo you? Is there a way to do that without Dox'ing yourself

1  56ColinQuinn 2018-09-26

He has a patreon I think

1  deep_legal_shit 2018-09-26

Can't wait. It seems like the Worm doc just keeps picking up momentum and word of mouth, so this dropping right now is the perfect time to max its visibility and hype

1  doublevea 2018-09-26

Thank you for your service

1  0xAncientHist0ry 2018-09-26

Thank you for your service.

1  JoshFromMichigan 2018-09-26

Take all the time you need, dollface. Art cannot be rushed.

1  WillyCosby 2018-09-26

Sir, you have nothing to apologize for. Thank you for your service

1  SteakSauce66 2018-09-26

THAT MONEY IS NOT FOR FOOD!!! It's for chat tokens for Nordic Cam Whores.

1  MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-09-26

Don't rush it, especially if the end product suffers. It's not like you are under a deadline (that I know of). And the sub will support it when it comes out, regardless of when.

1  MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-09-26

Don't rush it, especially if the end product suffers. It's not like you are under a deadline (that I know of). And the sub will support it when it comes out, regardless of when.

1  nlst89 2018-09-26

Thanks for the great transparency... Unlike the $60k fugitive

1  nlst89 2018-09-26

Thanks for the great transparency... Unlike the $60k fugitive

1  OldGearJammer 2018-09-26

I hope there’s a montage segment on his crutch of “You don’t think this obviously retarded opinion is right? Grating laugh”

1  brmlb 2018-09-26

here's some highlights from what a typical Sam solo show sounds like with that radio voice if you need it for the documentary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N73840RcgYw

1  Anarox 2018-09-26

You're doing the lords work

1  rodneymunch87 2018-09-26

Delay? Did your mother have you do some chores?

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

Nah she's been slinging me hotpockets down the basement stairs all day. A good egg.

1  hermesgate 2018-09-26

I’d like to give you money, however I don’t want to be billed monthly. Please instruct me in an appropriate way to give you sheckles.

1  deegan258 2018-09-26

You can make one-time donations to Patreon, I believe.

1  hermesgate 2018-09-26

I could not find that option.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I'd have used something else but paypal doxxes you and venmo is for niggers and tranny fuckers. I honestly wouldn't sweat it bro - it's already way higher than I ever thought possible for what I'm doing.

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

A fortunate windfall.

1  oooBeta_Libraeooo 2018-09-26

It's ok, it will get the sub taken down once Sam kills himself over it.

1  throwawaymanthrows 2018-09-26

A hero walks among us

1  lispychicken 2018-09-26

You're doing the Lord Opie's work. May the ghost of Patrice bless you

1  HillarysServer 2018-09-26

I used to use Premiere, then I stopped being pretentious and went back to Sony Vegas (or whoever owns it Vegas), which actually works. I've enjoyed many Adobe products, but Premiere is such a pain in the ass.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I was a final cut fag through University but I use premiere a bunch at work so it's a what you know kinda thing. You are right though - vegas is very user friendly whereas premiere has you looking in submenus within submenus to do the most basic of things

1  individual02 2018-09-26

'if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee'

1  JuiceBusters 2018-09-26

Brainstorming some movie posters: Sam Roberts: Sycophant

http://oi68.tinypic.com/20ue9du.jpg

1  Psych555 2018-09-26

Awful, just awful.

1  JuiceBusters 2018-09-26

You love it.

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

Shut up, nigger.

1  JuiceBusters 2018-09-26

I'm going to nigger you in a minute!

1  mb0087 2018-09-26

Keep up the good work. I am so sorry for your ears and that Game Of Thrones level of torture you've put them through.

1  flankspankrank 2018-09-26

I like to think Sam is hating the wait as much as i am and that makes it ok.

1  realister 2018-09-26

Take your time please we need a high quality documentary

1  HoagieErocktion 2018-09-26

The best thing Sam Roberts ever did was the Shit Show.

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

The Shit Show was tolerable if you didn't mind the ballwashing callers.

1  SuaveRico 2018-09-26

https://youtu.be/RzmBCiO8_zg dont forget this.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

It's in

1  SuaveRico 2018-09-26

Praise you.

1  schumeroid 2018-09-26

This sub owes Porsalin a big sloppy collective blowie

1  ghandicumia 2018-09-26

Yes i hope it comes up after their contacts expire and sam kills bald

1  ilovethegarlicbutter 2018-09-26

Any chance of Travis leaking the Dildo picture?

1  DynamiteThunder6 2018-09-26

You fuckin rule bud

1  jimjammamjam 2018-09-26

God bless you young man

1  hermesgate 2018-09-26

Not acceptable. Let me pay you.

1  kencat100 2018-09-26

There’s only so much one can say about Robert’s countenance, as hideous as it is. It’s his misshapen soul, warped personality and grotesque ego that warrants the bulk of attention.

1  simon160389 2018-09-26

Looking forward to it. Thank you sir

1  Don_Panera 2018-09-26

You’re doing the lord’s work. Bless you sir!

1  aRTie02150 2018-09-26

Feel free to use any of my doodles.

1  ChocomelTM 2018-09-26

Tha nks

1  84Heel 2018-09-26

Do the patreon folk get perks?

​

Like do they get the documentary with Sam's faced blurred?

1  GryllslyBear 2018-09-26

Please do a Scorch interview.

​

Also, Scorch is PFG.

​

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

I have tried. We were messaging each other on FB and the minute I said 'Sam Roberts' he flat out said no. I think he thinks I'm doing this in bad faith. As it stands, my PFG segment is incredibly supportive.

1  Rock-Coat 2018-09-26

I'm more excited to this than my once monthly sad hand job from a beaten down woman who I sadly call wife!

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

Just out of curiosity, how long have you been married?

1  Rock-Coat 2018-09-26

We met at Homeless shopping spree 2 after KTC picked us up in the Lower East side, and I've been in love with her garbage breath since. So you do the math!

1  TheLastMrNiceGuy 2018-09-26

I can’t contribute to your Patreon because the cost of living is too high for a Panera Bread salary but I can offer you my anus if that’s something you’d like.

1  porsalin 2018-09-26

Anus is my top tier

1  GaryColeman69_69 2018-09-26

Fawwkkkyeeaahhh

1  Fennian75 2018-09-26

Nothing but Sam Roberts for two weeks?? You poor bastards! That would cause a lesser man to break. Now back to work you lazy Brit bastard!

1  fartpoop22 2018-09-26

/u/porsalin on suicide watch

1  whoaDAVIDwhoa 2018-09-26

never promise. always deliver. and thank you.

1  PoooopFTW 2018-09-26

youre a king

1  ReDMeridiaN 2018-09-26

I’m bumping my Patreon up. You need to be well nourished to complete this endeavor

1  FuhWyPeepo 2018-09-26

Salutations to you and your patreon supporters.

1  Cancerous_cunt_408 2018-09-26

Like you owe us an explanation sir, you’re doing the lords work

1  CUNTYMOM 2018-09-26

you're the best, im looking forward to listening to this at work on monday. please dont stop.

1  KillerKoon 2018-09-26

This should help me as I prepare for my anthropology 100 midterm

1  CacaDick 2018-09-26

Two hours of white noise will suffice.

1  BumbiBestie 2018-09-26

George Martin said he thought The White Album could have been the best single LP of all time, but The Beatles insisted on a double album.

I’d suggest cutting out anything Sam might take as positive, and cut it down to 35 brutal minutes.

1  liljoeyk 2018-09-26

You are great

1  liljoeyk 2018-09-26

You are great

1  liljoeyk 2018-09-26

You are great

1  Lish_fips89 2018-09-26

*Take away.

1  Rauldukex420 2018-09-26

A documentary on just Sam? How the fuck did you stay awake while making it? I don't think theres enough coke/meth/crack/speed on the planet to keep me awake for that. He watches TV and struggles to not inhale cocks what else is there to talk about?

1  Release82 2018-09-26

You're doing God's work sir you've earned my ten bucks.

1  thrillated 2018-09-26

A fortunate windfall.