DUDE, MY EGGWHITES WERE FOUR MINUTES TOO LONG THIS MORNING

38  2018-09-25 by IDoHeroin4Breakfast

I SPECIFICALLY ask those SCUMBAGS to have my eggwhite and mustard at 9:00 and not 9:04.... Now my day is ruined man it;s gonna throw my 9:30 shit outta schedule then I gotta go home midday and refresh facebook all day. Minutes wasted I coulda been checking Mary Jean's twitter. sigh IF I DONT HAVE SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERY SECOND THEN IT DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT, BABY BOY. It really is a mutherfucker man.

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35 comments

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-25

Eat food at home you fucks

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

cuts out caller mic

DUDE ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SUGGESTING I MAKE FOOD AND NOT HAVE SOMEONE MAKE IT FOR ME EVERY MORNING AT EXACTLY THE MINUTE I WANT IT scccccumbag

1  WuTang4Evaaaa 2018-09-25

Are you trying to motherfuck me baby boy? I'll call up your employer and motherfuck you, stupid!

1  TrievelGoesSouth 2018-09-25

Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink

1  MaskedUploader 2018-09-25

[blinking intensifies]

1  AntsCamera 2018-09-25

I am such a whiny cunt, and people mistake me being bitchy about minor shit as the old angry Jimmy that people used to like.

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I like u, maybe kiss u ;)? A/S/L?

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-25

I miss old internet

1  AntsCamera 2018-09-25

Show pics of your pussy.

1  JohnDough911 2018-09-25

13/?/Long Island

1  white518 2018-09-25

If someone ever ate egg whites and mustard in front of me I would stab them in the neck.

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I pan fry eggs and cut off maybe 80% of the eggwhite, as much as I can really without much bother. I eat egg yolks every morning and hate the small amount of eggwhites in them, so in all seriousness he needs medication and therapy and help and a noose or something that shit is is fucking disgusting

1  chainsofknowledge 2018-09-25

The yolk is where all the flavor is, but the whites can give a good texture when you’re talking about fried and hard boiled. Especially where the yolk is runny, the egg whites complement them well.

I love a fried egg with runny yolk and an egg white that’s been burned a little bit around the edges. With an egg like that, the whites have the same texture as pork rinds imo.

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I cut out pretty much all the eggwhite apart from a protective seal so the pan doesn't overcook the yolk and it keeps shape, anthony bourdain once told me how to do it we were great friends we used to spend hours HOWLING on the phone sniff. When I put my eggwhites in my bing I point at the bin and say check out the empties man

1  AnthonysGunFauxPas 2018-09-25

Who the fuck cares about breakfast? I can go all day and eat a meal when I get home. It’s called intermittent fasting and a lot of people do it.

And what a bitch to not eat yolks.

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

Fuck you how bout that, I said I ONLY eat yolks I try to cut out all the egg white nice reading comprehension, stupid

There's studies been done that've shown eating a high protein/fat breakfast has numerous health benefits, so keep your 'imtermiting fasting' and try another fad like alphabrain all you want #FACE

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

HOLD ON Fred from Florida wants in

FRED: Youre a real jerk

1  Twatsmash 2018-09-25

I do this too and somehow have never had a complete physical and emotional breakdown if I don’t eat at exactly the moment I planned to.

1  AnthonysGunFauxPas 2018-09-25

Our ancestors didn’t have this constant access to food. Back in the good ol’ days you might not eat for a few days and nobody threw a fit. My grandpa ate a lot of squirrel in rural Kentucky during the Great Depression (if he was lucky enough to catch some). And he was grateful for it!

1  throwawizzlemahnizzl 2018-09-25

alright settle down roadkill rick

1  ChocomelTM 2018-09-25

Roadkill Rick?

1  TacolasCage 2018-09-25

Egg whites are for faggots

1  Subeck 2018-09-25

I honestly, genuinely cannot wait until he gets fired

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I would tell you if getting fired bothered me, genuinely man. By the way, does anyone wanna listen to my asinine diet habits?

1  GippslandJimmy 2018-09-25

ME: where we at with the fresh blueburries? They're a superfood

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

ME: I'm all aboard with the blueberries brotherman, what is in them that makes them superfoods anyway? Let's go to the callers first though Steve from bayshore on the line how do you feel about blueberries Steve?

1  BullsLawDan 2018-09-25

ME: where we at with the fresh blueburries? They're a superfood

I just realized Opie doing this was to jerk Jim's chain about eating on the air.

1  fo-da-fo-da-show 2018-09-25

Egg whites are basically cum

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

Worse

1  OpieEatsBoogers 2018-09-25

Not to mention my Uber driver MOTHERFUCKED me this morning by parking on the opposite end of the street. He didn’t pull a U turn....he went around which took 30 seconds longer man. Scuuuuuuuumbag. Also, pretty sure I smelled some pot last night coming from my neighbor’s. Tried to call someone but everyone I called seemed like they sent it right to voicemail. I don’t want to motherfuck this person though.

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I hope u called several sponsers after smelling that pot and called the cops on those scccumbags

1  ShadowbannedKeithM 2018-09-25

Feed Nana baby boy.

1  Gr8Chan 2018-09-25

There is no nutritional advantage in just eating fucking eggwhites. Just drink a fucking proton shake!

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

>protein shake

yeah I take my shake along with my alphabrain and schroomtech

1  Gr8Chan 2018-09-25

Eggwhites are used just to reduce calories from a protein source, so he's AIDS skinny and he's still counting calories like he's cutting down to be shredded. It makes no fucking sense at all. I dont know how many eggwhites he has, but 30grams of protein (flavored) comes to about 120calories with 24 grams of protein. You'd have to eat a shitton of eggwhites to get the same nutritional value. I think you'd have to get like 5 whole eggs for about the same ammount. No way Norton is eating 10 eggwhites for breakfast. This shit annoys me to no end!

1  IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-25

I pan fry eggs and cut off maybe 80% of the eggwhite, as much as I can really without much bother. I eat egg yolks every morning and hate the small amount of eggwhites in them, so in all seriousness he needs medication and therapy and help and a noose or something that shit is is fucking disgusting

1  AnthonysGunFauxPas 2018-09-25

Our ancestors didn’t have this constant access to food. Back in the good ol’ days you might not eat for a few days and nobody threw a fit. My grandpa ate a lot of squirrel in rural Kentucky during the Great Depression (if he was lucky enough to catch some). And he was grateful for it!