Could you imagine cooking a nice dinner, like a good white lasanga with spinach, and your husband comes home and says "GROSS, I'm just gonna microwave some Pizza Pockets..."
I give their marriage another two years at best. No woman will want to grow old with Sam.
He'd sullenly walk down to his basement "studio" and start up a stream to 4-25 viewers and speak just loud enough about how pretentious it is to use expensive cheese in a meal just loud enough that his wife could hear it.
I'd wager that she thought she could change him. That it was something he would grow out of as he aged. Now he's 35 and she's realizing there was never anything she could have done. Not even having his child made him grow up.
The resentment and bitterness will only grow from here and with a bit of luck, she'll start physically abusing him. Thoughts and prayers for Jess.
This isn't the first time she's said something like this. Remember when she urged him to go see some shitty movie before coming home from work? All these instances adding up to his obliviousness is hilarious. Divorce soon.
I'd bet he didn't commit to the 'jog', just mined along for a bit then walked round the block, then had a little run as he got near home so he'd be slightly out of breath.
Sam was never a good looking guy but now Jess is so far above him she is looking for a way out. I can’t believe a girl like that would allow a mutant to impregnate her.
She probably snapped that at him as she was watching him eat some ironybro man-baby meal and going through all the all-time best WWE Hell in a Cell matches that he put on VHS tapes twenty years ago and started watching on a nineteen inch television.
Something Sam does is he makes his wife watch really old professional wrestling matches with her and last night was a PPV so she might have got the "Captive Audience" treatment.
Forget a divorce, one of these days she's gonna poison his half-gallon Coca-Cola. He's antagonizing his wife into a murder attempt.
Going out to eat with him must be he'll for her. All she wants is a gentleman; someone to hold her in his strong arms and make her feel safe, a man who knows enough about wine not to make the peasant mistake of ordering a grape variety "do you have any merlot/chardonnay?" A man who will pull out her chair and order normal food.
Instead she stares at her menu, face burning, as her husband (fast approaching middle age) asks the waiter why the nouvelle cuisine restaurant she picked out doesn't serve boneless chicken wings.
Hopefully her next husband is a complete Alpha who raises Sams kid to be the same. When Sam comes for visitation he has to look down at his feet while the Alpha tells HIS kid to behave for the visit.
I have no sympathy for Sam's wife because she married Sam. She was hoping this weasly loser would be big in broadcasting and she could cash in on a divorce.
41 comments
1 lolercakesmcgee 2018-09-17
Because he’s a skinny fat mess. He has not aged well at all.
1 VincentSports89 2018-09-17
He's not skinny fat he's fat, just because you have zero muscle mass doesn't mean you're skinny fat.
1 Kurt_Love 2018-09-17
If your quads are four inches around and you haven't been paralyzed for the past 5 years, you might qualify for skinny fat.
1 Toss__Pot 2018-09-17
She's trying anything so she doesn't have to justify waking-up to that mess.
1 SibHashian13 2018-09-17
Plus if he's out running there is a chance he could be mugged or hit by a car.
1 shimshammcgraw 2018-09-17
Do you still listen to Jim and Sam? How do you manage it?
1 IDoHeroin4Breakfast 2018-09-17
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP
1 YoussefBozydStawski 2018-09-17
its a legit great show, just discovered it like a few months ago.
1 TacolasCage 2018-09-17
Going for a jog isn't going to cure his shitty eating habits and his addiction to man on man hugging sports
1 AiCPearlJam 2018-09-17
Could you imagine cooking a nice dinner, like a good white lasanga with spinach, and your husband comes home and says "GROSS, I'm just gonna microwave some Pizza Pockets..."
I give their marriage another two years at best. No woman will want to grow old with Sam.
1 El_Heato 2018-09-17
Now I'm fucking starving. We got any white lasagna back there Earl?
1 rsroot 2018-09-17
Fresh out, boss.
1 deep_legal_shit 2018-09-17
He'd sullenly walk down to his basement "studio" and start up a stream to 4-25 viewers and speak just loud enough about how pretentious it is to use expensive cheese in a meal just loud enough that his wife could hear it.
1 SWIMsfriend 2018-09-17
its not like Sam suddenly became this way, she knew what she was getting into, no way in hell has Jess ever cooked a day in her life.
1 TungstenShit 2018-09-17
I'd wager that she thought she could change him. That it was something he would grow out of as he aged. Now he's 35 and she's realizing there was never anything she could have done. Not even having his child made him grow up.
The resentment and bitterness will only grow from here and with a bit of luck, she'll start physically abusing him. Thoughts and prayers for Jess.
1 0o-0-o0 2018-09-17
In other words: "You should leave the house so I can fuck someone else"
1 PowerfulSir 2018-09-17
This isn't the first time she's said something like this. Remember when she urged him to go see some shitty movie before coming home from work? All these instances adding up to his obliviousness is hilarious. Divorce soon.
1 Kalikhead 2018-09-17
She wants him to actually use those stupid sneakers that he buys for what they meant to be used for - athletics.
1 UhLookHereMan 2018-09-17
I promise you that if he went jogging, he would wear a big wrestling championship belt while doing so
1 bigstephen420 2018-09-17
No way, those things are like 10 lbs. I kinda doubt he could make it one block with one of those toy, Styrofoam belts around his waist.
1 Toss__Pot 2018-09-17
I'd bet he didn't commit to the 'jog', just mined along for a bit then walked round the block, then had a little run as he got near home so he'd be slightly out of breath.
1 Layzerbeamz 2018-09-17
Translation: "D'shawn is coming over whether you are here or not, do yourself a favor and go for a walk"
1 TheLastMrNiceGuy 2018-09-17
Sam was never a good looking guy but now Jess is so far above him she is looking for a way out. I can’t believe a girl like that would allow a mutant to impregnate her.
1 JohnJJohnsonMN 2018-09-17
No woman has more justification to cheat with Tyrone than Jess
1 SpeckofCoppah 2018-09-17
It goes full circle : the child of cuckoldry is being cheated on.
1 CommodorePawsey 2018-09-17
She’s fucking Anthony?
1 BeerCanThick 2018-09-17
She probably snapped that at him as she was watching him eat some ironybro man-baby meal and going through all the all-time best WWE Hell in a Cell matches that he put on VHS tapes twenty years ago and started watching on a nineteen inch television.
Something Sam does is he makes his wife watch really old professional wrestling matches with her and last night was a PPV so she might have got the "Captive Audience" treatment.
Forget a divorce, one of these days she's gonna poison his half-gallon Coca-Cola. He's antagonizing his wife into a murder attempt.
1 McGowan9 2018-09-17
Going out to eat with him must be he'll for her. All she wants is a gentleman; someone to hold her in his strong arms and make her feel safe, a man who knows enough about wine not to make the peasant mistake of ordering a grape variety "do you have any merlot/chardonnay?" A man who will pull out her chair and order normal food.
Instead she stares at her menu, face burning, as her husband (fast approaching middle age) asks the waiter why the nouvelle cuisine restaurant she picked out doesn't serve boneless chicken wings.
1 El_Heato 2018-09-17
Hopefully her next husband is a complete Alpha who raises Sams kid to be the same. When Sam comes for visitation he has to look down at his feet while the Alpha tells HIS kid to behave for the visit.
1 UhLookHereMan 2018-09-17
maybe he slaps sam around a little in front of the kid too
1 Tom_Stall 2018-09-17
"For your mental health you should stop listening" - Tom to all Peckas
1 SheGonGetIt 2018-09-17
I remember for years they would talk Jess up on air as-if Sam managed to catch an 8 or 9 but then you see her and she's maybe a 6?
1 CasperKuhn 2018-09-17
Not no mo. time hasn't treated her well either. Can only imagine the depression that is brought on being a prisoner to this monster
1 SheGonGetIt 2018-09-17
Link to a picture of her? I wanna see her now.
1 CasperKuhn 2018-09-17
https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/96dmhz/shes_too_good_for_that_halfevolved_human_being/?utm_source=reddit-android
1 SheGonGetIt 2018-09-17
Yeeeesh....
1 Tylly 2018-09-17
They did the same with Patrice's gf, never with Opie's wife tho, who is the only truly beautiful one of the three.
1 David_Quiddich 2018-09-17
I have no sympathy for Sam's wife because she married Sam. She was hoping this weasly loser would be big in broadcasting and she could cash in on a divorce.
1 tremendousaurus 2018-09-17
If Sam tried jogging I can guarantee his legs would fall apart at the joints like Forest Gump’s leg braces did.
1 deep_legal_shit 2018-09-17
Where is this from? Don't tease this shit. This needs to be fed to porsalin
1 Dennyislife 2018-09-17
Sam said it when talking about how disgusting his body is today.
1 Stratahoo 2018-09-17
How did he say he responded?
1 throwawaymanthrows 2018-09-17
Sam's stressing out about this contract thing I bet.
1 Fennian75 2018-09-17
What he left out is, she wants him to jog at night. In the street. Wearing dark clothing.
1 RacistPigeon 2018-09-17
She is hoping, along with everyone else, that he gets mowed down by a city bus.
1 VincentSports89 2018-09-17
He's not skinny fat he's fat, just because you have zero muscle mass doesn't mean you're skinny fat.
1 rsroot 2018-09-17
Fresh out, boss.