u/porsalin this is Sam Roberts at 15 fucking years old. FIFTEEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!

149  2018-09-12 by antlikesteens

50 comments

Too old for anthony

14, but who's counting.

He may not had his bday yet. But he looks fucking 8 or 9. Focusing on these years of sams life explains why he still does shit like a teenager eventhough he is in his mid 30s

He's a goony Millenial kidult permanently partying like its 1999. He's no different than Erock in the way he leads his life, except Erock is a fatso and Sam Roberts is skinnyfat. Keep in mind that this guy lost a Physical Fitness challenge to Erock when Erock was about 300 pounds. You'd think long term employment, a wife and a son would get this guy to sideswipe adulthood but he is going to be permanently 14 years old. Like I said, that detached, ironic, I like it cuz it sucks and its childish eternal 90s kid vibe. He's about 40 making six figures a year and he still eats novelty-shape chicken nuggets.

I have a hard time believing SiriusXM is paying Sam Roberts 6 figures.

What they don't tell you is that they are GI Joe and He-man figures.

Wait, he also appreciates fine dining....at Applebee's

Eating good in the neighborhood...ugh

If you'd rather, he will meet you at the Olive Garden, or maybe TGI Friday's for some apps.

Nothing but the best for our boy.

He’s in his 30s? The fuck? I never looked it up but I always put him in his late 40s based on his hairline. Dude needs to shave.

He was 14 years old.

“What’s age counting?”

-Anthony Cumia

he looks like he's 8 - fucking hgh

The HGH explains Sam's abnormally shaped head

His parents thought they were doing the right thing but didn't realize what a hideous monster he'd become.

his mom broke down weeping and his dad blamed the one doobie he smoked in college

https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/9cehym/stupid_bobbie_roberts_gave_her_son_a_lifelong/

I swear to god the panicked, super late stage HGH gave him 65% of his fucked up features. If his stupid mother hadn’t panicked at the idea of a short son, he could’ve turned out normal. Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Just so I can clear a few things up for people who come through this sub and think we make stuff up, this is actually Sam Roberts. Not someone who kinda looks like him.

Spoiled little faggot would be on a game show. Cunt.

Already going bald from all the HG and semen he was taking

Not sure if he was actually taking hgh yet. It doesnt look like he is

If this is how he looked before HGH I can't blame his fawning parents from panicking and trying. I'd be giving my kid roids too.

A slow zoom in on that face is PARAMOUNT to da success of da film!

There is actual video of whole show somewhere

Smug little fucker.

Flicks Quarters Off His Malformed Penis

Even at 15, he looked like an insufferable cunt.

Super cute.

He's still a disgusting monster.

In related news, I will eat out Summer Sanders' asshole 100% of the time the opportunity presents itself.

I just yahoo'd her (I don't google) and she looks better today than she did back then!

What happened to him? HGH make you turn ugly as you age.

Nice triangle mouth

i was baaaaaaangin at 15. smoking weed, selling adderall, popping x and drinking all day. god damnit i peaked

He looks like he’s wearing a coshhhhtyume of a normal looking human

How does somebody look 8 at 15 and 54 at 33?

What a genetic dud.

That's a claymation figure.

What a cute little nigger.

Neotenous, also called pedomorphosis.

No I'm sure Sam wasn't bullied all the time for looking like an 8 year old. Makes sense considering how much of a cunt he is

makes sense considering how he treated all the interns like shit despite being barely removed from the same role. So pathetic how he would get excited about snitching on their mistakes in an attempt to curry favor with the audience. The episodes where Opie and Sam try to interrogate an intern are so cringeworthy because you can tell that off mic they are such fucking losers

Please stop feeding into his cute boy routine.

Insulting him for eating bad food doesn't get to him. It does not get under his skin. It's not a good angle.

That was his talent. Flicking quarters off his ankle. He was proud of that.

What does that even mean? How is that a talent

A life long diet of nothing but processed frozen food and candy can really do a number to the human body

He was obviously a premie

He could be fifteen, he could be five, who the fuck knoes with this genetic degenerate faggot.

Christ, his parents' DNA was fucked. They got a stunted toddler with a deformed dick. Nice work making a baby, losers.

I've always wondered what's up with his teeth in this. Botched backroom braces?

i wish someone would invent a time machine, killing a child wouldn't seem like such a despicable thing to do if they did.

Wtf is wrong with his teeth

Who's the ghoul next to him?

The HGH explains Sam's abnormally shaped head