You know, Labor Day is a fitting day to reveal myself. A few months ago I asked my friend to do me a mitzvah. I said "find me the toughest subreddit out there." And he didn't even hesitate. He said "the O+A subreddit is brutal. Funny. Dynamic. It's the big time." So I said "that's where I'll go". So I came here. And I read your posts. I got your "jokes" and I soaked it all in.

What I found was a collection of the biggest, dumbest, redditors on the planet. A bunch of hillbilly's. (Pause for effect to let this unexpected heel turn sink in)

And I am here to tell you all that I now own this subreddit. And I am now taking my place as the undisputed O+A subreddit champion. (Pause for expected applause but only get boos)

And if any of you rednecks don't like it you know where to find me. And don't worry, I'll make sure to hit you with "The Rocket's Red Glare" then pin you 1, 2, 3.

I'm Randy "The Rocket" Rosenthal. I am America, and from here on in, you're playing MY game. (Fade to Black while the national anthem plays)