Fat retard that isn't funny.

127  2018-08-26 by Mexijesus

54 comments

His new special is not good. 2-3 chuckle moments.

The only chuckle I'd get out of this blowhard would be if he plopped his flabby ass in front of a train.

Speaking of trains, did you hear the story of how this guy robbed a train with the Russian mob and got the nickname “the Machine.”

That sounds spurious

Sounds like a Richard Kuklinski lie.

No, I for one have not heard that bit ever 87 times.

did he do the machine again? not watching unless machine

He has the most punchable face in “comedy”. And that’s saying something.

Nanette tho

Even more so than a Joe Derosa or a Matarese?

Matarese yes, Derosa no.

Moshe Kasner

Al Madrigal would like a word.

He has Christian Youth Program Group Leader energy.

He does look a bit like the paedo uncle from Split...QUANSPIRACY

Cryptojew

if this nigga ain't a little rich boy jew, i'll eat my own ass

Doctor Daddy kept him afloat for at least a decade after highschool, originally from Florida, travels through life in a purely hedonistic/materialistic manner and the only higher value he supposedly claims adherence to - comedy - he makes a mockery of and desecrates with his ham-handed participation, hmmm......

You bring the feathers, I have the tar.

You described comedy

Did you hear about the one how he accidentally ended up working for the Russian Mafia?

He rarely tells that story, might be hard to find.

I'm not sure. Is that the bit where he takes off his shirt, embellishes every detail of an already bullshit story and also uses over the top obnoxious voices? Oh and does he laugh at himself a lot so that you know the bit is funny?

Oh, you've seen it.

You mean the movie where they casted a handsome, charming, and funny Ryan Reynolds instead of who the character really is, a fat disgusting unfunny genetic disaster?

Ryan Reynolds is not funny and they should've cast Nolan North to play Deadpool instead.

^ Agreed

if you're the sort of tard in college for 9 years i'm pretty sure you would look like Bert instead of Ryan

I heard it’s the BEST STORY OF ALL TIME

No. It's the one where he squeels and speaks in a high pitch tone no one can understand

They made it into a movie, machinist starring Christian bale.

I remember that story about him being eaten by wild hogs feet first with a tourniquet around his thighs so he can't bleed out and die, while I sit on a chair, masturbating.

Oh wait that was just a pleasant dream.

You mean he tells an unbelievable story while mimmicking a cheap knock-off version of Dane Cook?

Flatter chested Opie

During that Election Day JRE, Bill Burr was absolutely killing. He ran that entire show. At one point in the show, fudgetits decided that he couldn't make the crowd laugh with his words, so he just started screaming over Bill and took his shirt off. What a fucking hack.

Hahahahahahaha that’s hilarious cuz he’s not wearing a shirt! Comedy gold!

fat wacky guy with positive energy. he'd be fun to have as a dad but that doesn't translate to comedy whatsoever. also he's a faggot and not funny

He'd be a fun dad for toddlers. Once the kids like 8 they'd fucking hate him and his bullshit.

Fuck having him as a dad. Perhaps as an uncle.

he's too self centered to be fun in a good way, h ewould make it all about himself rather than be able to joke with the group

Fat Mrs. Doubtfire

I Honestl hope he dies like Patrice due to health complications

I thought the special where he took off his shirt was tolerable.

49 year old hack faggot

I hate that this guy is somewhat "known". Like fuck, unlike other unfunny comedians that might give me a chuckle or 2 he has never maked me laugh. Is his schtick based on him being chubby & lots of time being shirtless??

I defended his general zest for life and positive spirit back before the shirtless thing became his hammered watermelon. I now hope to see his dead shirtless body wash ashore after he goes missing for an extended period. The shirtless gimmick makes his exaggerated tall tales of insane debauchery so much more intolerable.

Jesus, why do people like him? He’s stupid, not funny and always making those god awful faces. Worse than anything, he talks about being such a catch and blowing off the likes of Tiffany. Should’ve hooked up with Will Smith when he had the chance.

Jesus, why do people like him?

simpletons think he's OUTRAGEOUS.

Someday soon he's going to shoot a pilot, and there'll be a bidding war among the networks to pick it up. Working title: Crazy Shirtless Party Dad.

I've got two of the Original Kings of Comedy with me tonight...

*Pulls down his pants to reveal his balls painted in black face*

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s literally 15x funnier than anything he has ever done in his life.

Jesus you guys are really upset about this

Jesus you're really a ballwashing queer

Yeah I guess I am. When you wrote that to me did you get excited because I don’t get why you would care about me or my opinion. Also I could care less about the special and wether or not you liked it. My only interest is why you would get so excited on the internet to call me a ball washing queer? If you are lonely it’s ok I get it. Oh and when you reply with your witty response, know that I love you and maybe one day you can find a fat girl (or boy no judgement here) to love you the same.

Too many words. I didn't finish.

cant wait to hear the russian mafia story again

I like the guy his comedy special however his last special wasn't very funny.

Secret time... I’m a shirtless homo... secret time

The only chuckle I'd get out of this blowhard would be if he plopped his flabby ass in front of a train.

did he do the machine again? not watching unless machine

That’s literally 15x funnier than anything he has ever done in his life.