Joseph Cumia: "I also don't work a day gig"

29  2018-08-24 by Uboat1940

On being in a band...

"It's my job"

36 comments

I bet the other members of his pretend time squad have at least part time jobs

His newest singer is actually a full time bus boy.

Better than a taxi girl or somethin I dunno

Shut up Chip.

Give me $60,000 and I promise you’ll never hear from me again.

tsss tsss

This man is 60 and dealing with band drama is still something that consumes his time.

What did Joe do before his brother was able to support him?

He worked in some sort of machining shop making gun grips or something similar. Ant told a story about Joe stealing ivory or pearl that was supposed to be made into a pistol grip

a nigger stealing on the job? how unusual

Like his younger brother and their father before them; lazy, thieving monkeys.

Just like how he stole from the Army?

He and Anthony sold cocaine and stole from their neighbors because they're niggers

What did Joe do before his brother was able to support him?

Entered into contracts.

Still can, actually.

Nothing stopping him from doing so.

HE'S NOT A PEDOPHILE

2U is something that should be an occasional weekend hobby for guys who are in their 40's. Make a few bucks on the side playing at some pub/restaurant. The moment the band becomes a pain in the ass, you quit because that is what normal adults with hobby bands do.

Joe on the otherhand is 60. He puffs his chest out about how he runs the band and how he is a professional, etc.

He is such a fucking huge loser that it's difficult to put in words.

Everything you said plus - the fact that he has a LinkedIn profile ("Education - US Army"), his awful retard-trying-to-sound-intellectual Facebook posts. The list goes on and on. That's why his People's Court appearance was so perfect. It summed up everything about him; his delusions of importance, his pettyness, his moronic way of thinking and speaking and, of course, his utter lack of self-awareness or shame.

Obviously though, the thing about him that screams "I'm a complete failure" more than anything else is the fact that he takes a monthly check from his younger brother to subsidise his adolescent lifestyle, a check that he feels entitled to and in no way embarrassed to tell the world about. As a man, I just can't fathom how anyone could do that and not feel literally nauseous with humiliation. I loathe him so much.

He really believes himself to be this CEO of his bar bands. He can say he is a professional entertainer, etc., at the end of the day, he plays about twice a month with 2U at Long Island, NJ pubs. Scattered between are a couple of solo Joe acoustic shows (the same thing he does at Anthony's pool parties). If it wasn't for Anthony's allowance check, Joe wouldn't be playing weekday nights and wouldn't be devoting all his energy into these ridiculous bands. It would all be revealed to be the hobby that it truly is. However, because he gets a big boy allowance, he gets to pretend he is the "CEO" of his pretend entertainment "enterprise".

It's like when struggling rappers call themselves CEO of their brand on Facebook when the biggest thing they've done is paid $200 to do a 15 minute opening set for Masta Killa at a bowling alley.

That set was fiyah

His poorly structured, psuedo-intellectually, wordy posts are a dead give away. There is nobody on earth fooled by him unless they are like him.

Agreed, most people in bands like this have full-time jobs and it’s just for fun and not taken so seriously. Ernie and the Automatics (going local with this one) is an example of this. Ernie Boch Jr is a fucking billionaire who just happens to also have some goofy hobby band. Brother Joe isn’t even CEO of his own bank account.

He stinks and I don’t like him.

Ernie Boch Jr

Found the Masshole.

In this interview he claims to run his band "like a military operation." He went on to say "I was in the service, so I know how to run a team." This fucking homo can't go two seconds without reminding people he was in the great mess hall food fight of '73.

Joe also said that if all his bands fold up, he still has solo acoustic Joe. So, essentially he is going to spend his 60's being a pool party "entertainer" that everyone wishes would just stop playing.

LETS TRADE BLOOD TESTS MYAN

"I was in the service, so I know how to run a team"

Just hateable. It's something Gareth from the British Office would've said. Joe is a far less likeable version.

That quote, he wants the reader to think "Wow, what was this guy? Delta Force? SEALs? Green Beret?" Of course, we all know the only "team" Peacetime Joe served on was the one making sure the men were fed 3 times a day.

Let's find them and get them to do an AMA.

In my experience, the musicians who always brag about how "professional" they are and bitch about how others aren't are usually the most uncreative and boring players.

He puffs his breasts put. Big puffies

God, Long Island is full of blowhards like Joe. Sitting on a lawn chair at some stupid barbecue blathering on about something like he's a fucking witty expert.

Buttafuoco Island.

I understand people living there under various situations, but what kind of millionaire moves to fucking Nassau County? Anthony basically tunneled INTO Shawshank.

Dumbass

They feel most comfortable being with fellow Jort/tank top wearing greaseballs.

Because he wanted to be a big fish among small retarded fishes.

Careful guys, we've got a real badass over here.

What a queer. He isn't even in a fun cover band like The Nerds or Little Kiss (all-midget Kiss tribute band) or the Iron Maidens (all girls), he plays U2 and fucking Journey. Imagine how many people he's disappointed when they stop at a bar and that asshole's on stage waddling around playing songs everyone hates.

You sir, seem to have forgotten "White Hendrix"

So what's the deal with his allowance? Anthony just gives him money? If so, do we know how much?

Nice out of touch dad band and failed dream you're living in, stupid.

It's annoying enough when the old fucks from the real bands keep touring into their 90s.

Is this piece of shit really just going to do cover songs until he is resigned to the medicare funded nursing home in Poughkeepsie? Let's dish about BroJoe's allowance? Funds are getting tight, he's gotta be getting nervous at this point.

He is such a fucking huge loser that it's difficult to put in words.

Everything you said plus - the fact that he has a LinkedIn profile ("Education - US Army"), his awful retard-trying-to-sound-intellectual Facebook posts. The list goes on and on. That's why his People's Court appearance was so perfect. It summed up everything about him; his delusions of importance, his pettyness, his moronic way of thinking and speaking and, of course, his utter lack of self-awareness or shame.

Obviously though, the thing about him that screams "I'm a complete failure" more than anything else is the fact that he takes a monthly check from his younger brother to subsidise his adolescent lifestyle, a check that he feels entitled to and in no way embarrassed to tell the world about. As a man, I just can't fathom how anyone could do that and not feel literally nauseous with humiliation. I loathe him so much.

Agreed, most people in bands like this have full-time jobs and it’s just for fun and not taken so seriously. Ernie and the Automatics (going local with this one) is an example of this. Ernie Boch Jr is a fucking billionaire who just happens to also have some goofy hobby band. Brother Joe isn’t even CEO of his own bank account.

He stinks and I don’t like him.

In this interview he claims to run his band "like a military operation." He went on to say "I was in the service, so I know how to run a team." This fucking homo can't go two seconds without reminding people he was in the great mess hall food fight of '73.

In my experience, the musicians who always brag about how "professional" they are and bitch about how others aren't are usually the most uncreative and boring players.

He puffs his breasts put. Big puffies