r/opieandanthony: Last night my wife overcooked the spaghetti, so I threw a plate of it against the wall and slapped her around in front of our children.

Last night my wife overcooked the spaghetti, so I threw a plate of it against the wall and slapped her around in front of our children.

99 2018-08-22 by McGowan9

Oh wait, no I didn't because I'm not a piece of Sicilian shit.

Joe and Anthony Cumia come from the loins of a scumbag.

29 comments

1 KillerKuhn 2018-08-22

They call that Long Island laundry day.

1 JimandFred 2018-08-22

Joe Sr. liked his pasts al dente. He's working all day stealing money out of the vending machines he's supposed to be servicing and sitting in bars for hours on the company dime. Man just wanted a nice bowl of spaghetti after a hard day's work.

1 McGowan9 2018-08-22

Look, I get it. There are few things worse than mushy pasta but maybe it's not worth busting the mother of your childrens' lip over. Or at least take her in the next room first, save the kids from the memory of getting smacked around. Otherwise the male children are likely to repeat the behaviour later!

1 TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2018-08-22

You have to teach kids that communication is important in a relationship. How was Ro supposed to know her spaghetti was shit unless he let the stupit bitch know what was up with a backhand across the face?

1 Anarox 2018-08-22

ONE OF THESE DAYS ROE

[Ron Howard voice: Joseph ment today]

1 barlowqt 2018-08-22

EVERY DAY ROE

1 paulallens 2018-08-22

I'm seeing a lot of good points being brought up here. Between shitting out a pissy eyed faggot and a cosplaying leech as well as overcooking spaghetti, being abandoned in 'Obscurity Senior Homes' was too good for her.

1 holodog 2018-08-22

She was probably mouthin off too though

1 Holdontoyabutt 2018-08-22

A fair point, broads are known to do that

1 TrumpAndTheSnake 2018-08-22

That's foreplay in old italian mating ritual, then they dance around holding a casket when they die.

1 McGowan9 2018-08-22

Savages. Animals! You have to yell at them like at dogs.

1 all_copacetic 2018-08-22

Who yells at dogs? If I saw someone doing that I'd think they were completely fucking insane. He's not people.

1 fo-da-fo-da-show 2018-08-22

Make sure you yell at your lil pissy eyes faggots.

1 McGowan9 2018-08-22

My goal is to turn the older one into a parasitic slob with sub-normal intelligence and the younger one into an over-compensating alcoholic closet case. I'll do my best.

1 AntsCamera 2018-08-22

Did you fuck a boy and buy him tits yet?

If not, step up your game faggot.

1 tjdon 2018-08-22

Doesn't make you a bad guy. Wait, yes, it does make you a bad guy. Joe Sr. was such a loser that in addition to smacking his wife around he couldn't even help support the family. His wife had to work nights and rent out rooms in her house to keep the family fed. When she tossed him out, he continued to steal her money by selling the kids plane tickets and putting them on the bus. If you are wondering why Joe and nana are such piles of shit, look no further than Joe Sr.

1 paulallens 2018-08-22

It explains where Joe learned to be okay and even proud of being a complete fucking leech.

1 Leofan7 2018-08-22

Like that wet-brained faux-Italian knew well cooked spaghetti when he tasted it. It was probably egg noodles and ketchup like the regular schnooks eat.

1 TurningFrogsGay 2018-08-22

The fruit didn’t fall far from the tree.

1 BP-47 2018-08-22

Ant's upbringing was like this and this. Poor Pissy Eyes.

1 McGowan9 2018-08-22

Nonsense. Henry Hill Sr. was a hard-working blue collar man who provided for a wife and six children the best he could. His occasional violent outbursts were purely frustration at how his namesake was turning out. And though Jake might have got heavy-handed with the women in his life every once in a while, he also earned an honest crust.

Joe Cumia Sr. was a petty criminal with no redeeming qualities. He hit his wife, verbally abused his children, didn't provide financially for any of them and ran off to the other side of the country to further shirk his responsibilities. How do I know this? His kids won't shut up about it and laugh it up as if they're telling cute and wholesome family tales. N-people.

1 BP-47 2018-08-22

I stand corrected. Mr. Hill Sr. had worked hard since he was 11. His work ethic is second to none.

1 DanishJimmy 2018-08-22

Just follow the rule of thumb and you will be fine

1 ShadowbannedKeithM 2018-08-22

You're raising butt fucking cry baby savages you know.

1 AngryHugo 2018-08-22

Breakfast in the Cumio household was also no laughing matter.

1 quasi100 2018-08-22

it defeats its own purpose

1 InnocentChrisKuhn 2018-08-22

Nice misdirection, stupid

1 packitchofsositch 2018-08-22

Thank fuck Ant's not actually sicilian. His mob movie and tv references would be 10 times as frequent and 100 times more obnoxious.

1 CMsGreenScreen 2018-08-22

Bahaha