If i ever go missing....

13  2018-08-22 by sams_seed

Please provide the media with a cute picture of me and report my weight as 115 lbs

Thanks bbs 😘

48 comments

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-08-22

You lack the proper complexion for media attention.

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

There are ways around that. Don't be so negative

https://imgur.com/xmYTQyq

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-08-22

I don't think so, hun. You need to look more like this if you want media coverage: https://tpm-res.cloudinary.com/image/upload/c_thumb,fl_keep_iptc,g_faces,h_200,w_200/kate_profile.jpg

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

So I'm too pretty is what you're saying?

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-08-22

No, you're too black! But to be honest, I'd stick you before that honky. 🍆

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

❤ i pass as non black though. One of my coworkers found out my man was black and he was like i just want you to know you can love whoever you want, i won't think any differently of you. Like as if i had come out as gay lmao

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-08-22

Let me lay out a scenario:

You're at a bar and about 5 or 6 Smirnoff's deep. A smooth talking white guy is hanging out with his fat ugly friend. They got a microphone in front of them, talking about this and that. And then the stud says, I was fawkin' ALL IN wit the movie "Up"

You telling me you still wouldn't just shrug your shoulders and hop on that dick?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Model material hotness trascends all racial barriers. I'd be all over that shit

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Do you have any apostrophes in your name?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

No

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

What about family members who will go on tv and cry for you to come home?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

If they have bills due, yeah. Otherwise they probably wouldn't even notice i was gone

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Do they also fit all the requirements above?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

No apostrophies but how do you feel about 2 capitalized letters in a name?

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Generally unacceptable unless it’s McSomething or French like LaRoche

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

LaShae 😏

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Last name ok, if that’s the first name then no dice

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Second first name

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Nope, you’re out

1  Bakersfield__Chimp 2018-08-22

Did you ever tell us which classic rock person your were named after?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Nobody guessed right

1  Bakersfield__Chimp 2018-08-22

Mason, as in Dave Mason?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Who??

1  Bakersfield__Chimp 2018-08-22

Classic rock dork. Give me a hint, I've got to figure this out.

1  DianaKurlan55 2018-08-22

He was trying to save your life. You know how they are with their women.

1  RBuddCumia 2018-08-22

You better bring a white baby on a key chain as Patrice said. Otherwise no one will care.

1  thrillated 2018-08-22

You want attention show us your belly button, you fetus murderer.

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Here's the uncropped version of my missing persons photo. I want this shit on billboards!

​

https://imgur.com/a/160WRlO

1  thrillated 2018-08-22

For what? Forehead Expansionist Monthly?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

115 lb mother of 2 MISSING last seen wearing gucci python shoes

1  thrillated 2018-08-22

Oh, you stereotype killer you.

1  SaraLinn 2018-08-22

No one Cares if u go Missing....This sub would be better off without u..... Don't worry I'll take ur place for u..... 👧🏼🍸💕🥀👑🍾👙🥂💄🌷

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Oh wow where have u been.... Didn't even notice u were gone..... Thats how irrelevant u are 👩👹✔💊🍌🍌👻🐭 hope u get killed by a mexican

1  SaraLinn 2018-08-22

I like ur writing style.....it's Cool....... I just had really good mexican food 🌮🌯🍛yesterday........👧🏼🥀🍸💕👑🍾👙🥂💄💋🌷👧🏾🍹

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

Me too ❤ taco bell, baby! 💏🎅💾📀🔒📢🔌

1  DianaKurlan55 2018-08-22

A real meeting of the mind.

1  PissyEyedFaggot 2018-08-22

Too bad it's not a meating of the mind

1  DianaKurlan55 2018-08-22

Say again, dude, your phone crapped out.

1  yajokin 2018-08-22

Does your Boyfriend spit in your face when he fucks you & call you a "Cunt" ? or is he actually mistreating you ?

1  sams_seed 2018-08-22

He's not a suspect.

1  yajokin 2018-08-22

Shutup Cunt ( proceeds to hock loogie at your Nubian B Cups )

1  PissyEyedFaggot 2018-08-22

That's generous

1  yajokin 2018-08-22

Put a Pic up of your Horse dick criminal spouse trying to tit fuck you

1  Suibu 2018-08-22

Ok so we’ll cross Neil Degrasse Tyson off the list

1  PissyEyedFaggot 2018-08-22

If you ever go missing we will launch a vast and extensive search for your black killer.

1  OutlawMemer 2018-08-22

If you ever go missing I'm just gonna assume the guys who run CrackwhoreConfessions.com got tired of your constant bitching about fat white women and caved your skull in.

1  TheDirtyWolfman 2018-08-22

Babe can you explain the belly button debacle? It's really getting in the way of your queenship as far as this sub is concerned

1  DryTeeth 2018-08-22

U/sams_seed passed away yesterday....she was fourteen.

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-08-22

Let me lay out a scenario:

You're at a bar and about 5 or 6 Smirnoff's deep. A smooth talking white guy is hanging out with his fat ugly friend. They got a microphone in front of them, talking about this and that. And then the stud says, I was fawkin' ALL IN wit the movie "Up"

You telling me you still wouldn't just shrug your shoulders and hop on that dick?

1  JerkStoreJ 2018-08-22

Do you have any apostrophes in your name?

1  DianaKurlan55 2018-08-22

He was trying to save your life. You know how they are with their women.