“You’re”

He really dropped the ball when stabbing himself to "death".

How do you fuck up suicide 3x?

"Ah gotta stab er three times?"

Almost like black Earl, Artie would rather go to the hospital than have to work.

No comparison. Earl was a loyal employee with an outstanding attendance record.

You're not getting enough upvotes for the Pulp Fiction line. Got me good you sock cucka.

He had his hair in the toilet. Disgusting.

I've said my piece Artie.

I said my peace, artie

jeeezus is this fuckin necessary?

Dont let how I've conducted my entire life fool you, I have some profound truths to share.

Although I know that the odds of this junkie slob staying clean are almost mathematically non-existent, I find former addicts going sober to be some of the most insufferable people walking the earth. They’re like the ex-smoker lecturing someone who just lit up a Marlboro that it will be the death of them. Good for you, quitter, now Shut the fuck up and get the fuck away from me!

kind of like some worm who had a couple wine coolers when he was a teenager and spent the rest of his life as a "recovering alcoholing" constantly spouting that 12 step bullshit every time the subject of addiction comes up

No man would do that - keep your hypothetical scenarios realistic, please.

"I can't have fun without ruining my life, which means anyone who does drugs is just as shitty at doing drugs as I am!"

"you had THREE beers last night at the party? Here's my sponsor's number, give him a call. It's obvious you're an alcoholic dude, normal people don't drink three beers at a party, that's alcoholic behavior."

Very similar to the life long meat eater who discovers organism in their 40's. Then they never shut the fuck about how eating meat is cruel and amoral.

Linda is a fucking mutant.

He seemed pretty zooted on that Dopey podcast last week.

hell yea! dopey nation. he was zooted.

So who's the friend and brother

Apparantly, you're

What a needy cunt.

all those people who are tweeting him shit like "WE LUV U BROTHER, DON'T GIVE UP, ONE DAY AT A TIME" are the worst.

Gosh I sure fuck up a lot! Hope every one still loves me!

Maybe he could try writing a few new jokes, as his "I have a drug problem" act is pretty well played-out at this point.

Don't forget to watch my book and read Crashing.

This reads like an unironic CQ tweet.

Still looking for attention, Artie? How much would you like?

Grow ups slub.

He sounds depressed.

MFW Artie hate