"When I was a housing cop we used to have one of those big 4x4's, and we'd look for the biggest puddle on the corner we could find, and then when people walked by it we'd throw the lights on and just speed right through it, get everybody soaked." -Keith the Cop
83 2018-07-31 by SpaceCaseBassFace
"...Then we'd drive right back around and do it again."
Naturally, this lovely little gem was dropped about 15 minutes after lecturing everyone on why they need to respect the police and always comply with their demands. This is the man Anthony chose to run his multi million dollar empire.
45 comments
1 ChrisBenoit_Daycare 2018-07-31
This is hilarious.
1 PissyEyedFaggot 2018-07-31
Yeah, it's hard to be mad about this. Pretty good.
1 claptrapologist 2018-07-31
Keith is a fucking liar. Even back then you k ow how easy that shit would be to report.
1 kgt5003 2018-07-31
Report to who? The police? I’m sure they’d look right into it..
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-07-31
"We looked into it.......we decided you're a liar and you should be glad we aren't arresting you for falsifying a government document."
1 PeeSoup3030 2018-07-31
My uncle was a cop when crack was going on and he said he would take black peoples ids so they couldn't get their foodstamps
1 Broken_stoic 2018-07-31
That’s a Nice way to force a hungry person into crime to feed his crack habit, and family.
1 PeeSoup3030 2018-07-31
I think he either owns or demolishes project buildings now. Its safe to say Uncle Tony is not fond of the urban community
1 Psych555 2018-07-31
Man has to have a code.
1 fashanoo 2018-07-31
Tony's such a cop name
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-07-31
Wow......not only do I want your uncle murdered I also want his entire family tortured and murdered for knowingly associating with a sociopath scumbag.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2018-07-31
It's a tough world out there
1 mcb84 2018-07-31
I'll be the first to tell ya
1 JohnQNo1 2018-07-31
At the end'a the game. King and Pawn. They go back in the same box but whaduiknow?
1 KennethFresno 2018-07-31
I've never gone quicker from hating someone to being sympathetic to them. Ha ha you're triggered, faggot food stamps boy.
1 cro-magnon_sam 2018-07-31
Your uncle sure knew how to pull pranks on people.
1 CMsGreenScreen 2018-07-31
Good.
1 AntsCamera 2018-07-31
They didn't count your bullets back then, you could get a bit goofy in the back alley then blame gangers when they found the body.
1 paulallens 2018-07-31
Reminds me of my aunt who was the Mayor of Detroid and would redirect funds for inner city schooling to take her family to Hawaii.
1 alt213 2018-07-31
I can’t believe that I actually looked it up, but Detroit has never had a woman mayor. You, sir, are a liar.
1 paulallens 2018-07-31
I would have to be a real Brother Joe to declare someone in my family who held public office committed embezzlement.
1 SWIMsfriend 2018-07-31
theres a 5 year statue of limitations. it's fine. its like when Ice-T admitted to committing a bunch of crimes in the 90s on Joe Rogan
1 Mellowcane 2018-07-31
She was a lifelong member of the house. Her son was the mayor: Kwame Kilpatrick. Probably not his aunt though...
1 shotgun_facelift7 2018-07-31
Can his pension still be docked?
1 ChipChippersontss 2018-07-31
Cumia hasn't stopped docking since the XM days.
1 aprosbro 2018-07-31
You ever notice how absolutely no one has a hard time believing that cops are assholes?
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-07-31
Ant does, unless he gets in trouble of course. Then that cop is a jerkoff.
1 IggysGlove 2018-07-31
He thinks they are assholes but you know its like how girls like assholes.
Anthony is sexually attracted to men in uniform.
1 Christopher_Barton 2018-07-31
Checks out. He has every single one of his Long Island fives dress up like Nazis.
1 LamarThePotato 2018-07-31
Looks like Anthony is in good company.
1 SuperToes845 2018-07-31
If only he had been in one of the towers that fateful day.
1 alt213 2018-07-31
Even if he was, he would have been knocking over women and children who were in his way as he tried to escape. No way would Kieth have ever been one of the hero cops that ran into the buildings.
1 1v1crown 2018-07-31
Glad he was a cop. Upstanding gentleman who is better than me and should have authority over my life.
1 claptrapologist 2018-07-31
You know what, you're right. Let's not get side tracked, Keith the cop is still a fucking liar.
1 Spokker 2018-07-31
Hey, cops put their lives on the line and need to let off stream by making a poor person wet.
1 AntsCamera 2018-07-31
It is too bad that a gentleman with questionable immigration status didn't fill him with holes because Keith smelled pot coming from the car.
I am not advocating him to die, maybe paralysis, eating babyfood and his wife changing shitbags the rest of his life.
I am not a savage.
1 VicDumb 2018-07-31
Ugh fuck him! I’ve been splashed many times in the rain, walking home from school because I missed the bus. Or standing at the bus stop and being splashed by those fucks. I never wanted to see a car explode suddenly or get t-boned by an 18 wheeler so bad in my life.
1 throwawizzlemahnizzl 2018-07-31
A cop told me he'd let me off with a warning once and I still got a fine through the mail. Fuck that cop.
1 satanssockpuppet 2018-07-31
And now that "puddle" is the Compound Media website and the people he soaks are Ant's subscribers. It always comes back full-circle.
1 that_kid_steve 2018-07-31
"Hey Stanley lets throw hot oil on him" - Worm
1 Mintwa 2018-07-31
One of the funniest Jim story and it isn't him being funny.
1 KangolVos 2018-07-31
"Hey, whore. Have some mustard."
1 Single_Action_Army 2018-07-31
Ant sucks cop dick because Keith used to give him PBA cards and blacks hate them. He really is a single-minded cocksucker.
1 fashanoo 2018-07-31
Being an asshole is one thing, but being an asshole to people that you can legally hurt if they react, makes you an utter piece of shit.
1 GraphOrlock 2018-07-31
Pales in comparison to CSK's wacky hijinks
1 SpaceCaseBassFace 2018-07-31
DUHHH WE USED TUH GIVE THE SPOOKS THE OL' WOOD SHAMPOO WHEN THEYD TRY AND PLAY HARD BALL, GH
1 WNEW 2018-07-31
and this is why no one likes cops.
1 Christopher_Barton 2018-07-31
Checks out. He has every single one of his Long Island fives dress up like Nazis.