Yes, no, no, no, yes, if i was drunk enough

🍷🥃🍾🥂🍻🍺 🍹 Drink up 👩🏾‍💼

Hey sweetie have you tried the new smirnoff ice smash yet? It's like a lime a rita but cheaper. The screwdriver flavor is awesome

No I only drink 🍸 vodka or whiskey 🥃 but thanks for letting me know 👩🏼

Oh so you're def not a girl then. Gotcha.

Um i'm not 15 years old that's what they drink.....Sorry i'm an adult i prefer none girly 5% alcohol drinks maybe u would like it but I wouldn't.....

Ohhhh ok im young and i don't weigh much so 5% is all i need. Maybe I'll have refined taste like you when im old and fat ❤🐷

So ur 15 then 👩🏾‍💼 Because that’s what they drink.....Let me know when u become an adult I’ll give u some good drink recommendations....🍷🥃🍾🍹🍸

Thanks babe ur the best 😘

Both of you shut up I'm trying to gossip about fat old men

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ok real talk, what the FUCK is up with your work? i think you said youre a mechanical engineer or some shit, how the fuck do you have time to post all day from work? is there literally nothing to do for you?

I sit at my desk and do programming most of the time, occasionally get up to bark orders at people in spanish or smoke a cigarette. But theyre giving me more responsibilites and my really sexy new boss starts next month so you might be seeing less of me. Maybe

so i take it your boss is black?

No he's a sexy sexy white man. My company has a no blacks policy i applied as native hawaiian/pacific islander

but then how you think that he got that good dick

I already peeped the lump in his pants 🍆

thats deceiptive on white folks. because whe uuh dont have them uuuh long legs and them uuh high thigh inserts, we got them pelvic boones pushed forward... e.g. i always look like im packing, while theres barely anything there.

Hmm ok. Im still gonna fuck him though

but then dont come crying when you find out he cant sling dick but you have to keep fucking him or he'll fire your ass.

Your self loathing is embarrassing. I advise a call to the Jim Norton Advice Show for insight from an expert in the cuckolding field.

self loathing? dont you realize i regularly call /u/sams_seed a nigger?

My lambo is blue

That would be nice 👍 I hope 🤞 so maybe you’ll be too busy to come back 👋🏻 I can take over for u don’t worry I already took ur name 👸🏼 🎉🍸 I’ll drink 🍹 to that with my adult beverage 🍸

Bitch go illustrate my dogs dreaming about squirrels post with emojis

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Can I tell you a joke ?

What's the difference between tuna and a piano?

You Can Tune a Piano, but You Can't Tuna Fish !!

wakka wakka

You Can Tune a Piano, but You Can't Tuna Fish

You Can Tune a Piano, but You Can't Tuna Fish is the seventh studio album by REO Speedwagon, released in 1978. It was their first album to be co-produced by lead singer Kevin Cronin and lead guitarist Gary Richrath. The album was REO's first to make the Top 40, peaking at No. 29.

^{[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28}

Is Jim a no because of his looks or the HIV?

He looks like a freshly circumcised baby penis covered in vaseline

He smells like piss and egg-whites

Wow nice name change......U don't have to worry about me stealing that.....Don't worry I Prefer adult beverages i'm not a child i can handle a strong drink unlike u......

Ummm have you been contacted for any endorsement deals??? Just wondering ... btw its 8% abv

Oh my bad i wouldn't know that alcohol ratio i don't drink kid drinks like u.....

Nice ironic Wham! shirt, faggot

That's one of opie's guys too. Has to hurt to be betrayed again.

Chris D’Stefano, or however you spell his faggoty name, is one of the least funny comedians on the planet.

Sam probably has 160 grams of sugar before 10 am every day. The rest of his diet is terrible, as we all know, and he does no physical exercise. It's only a matter of time before he triples in size.

Duuude, you got your chicken tendies, boom, you got your wrestling toys, boom, you got your weird uncircumcised dick duuuude

Is that Jimmy Carr?

I despise Jo Koy.

lookin like krusty the fucking clown

Ms. Patty was awful, Jim and Sam are too afraid of being accused of racism to tell her to shut up. Good comedians sitting around bullshitting and she highjacked the whole show.

THEORY: the more group photos you see, the worse the show gets

You ever here chris talk about his father? Fawkin Hillarious.

I sit at my desk and do programming most of the time, occasionally get up to bark orders at people in spanish or smoke a cigarette. But theyre giving me more responsibilites and my really sexy new boss starts next month so you might be seeing less of me. Maybe