today is a good day

Left my niggas house paid Picked up a girl been tryin' to fuck since the twelfth grade

yea thats the lyrics you faggot

goodyear blimp

Ice cube's a chimp

Joe is definitely that one person on earth that still uses yahoo mail.

I use yahoo. Just because certain websites require an email address.

Vampiric cock-goblin is a good line.

Crying Joe Matarese gets me every time

The quiver in his voice is so goddamn funny. I just imagine someone standing behind him violently shaking his shoulders as he talks to get the effect.

Aw shit son

A custom made Lightscribe disc. Wow how terrible were those things.

Hope Joe can build a good base for himself with this one. He's a good egg. Dumb as fucking nails, but a good egg.

linger longer ya dope

Can the next one be 'Joe Matarese' interviewing Joe Matarese?

393 subscribers

193 more than Nana.

Remember when you made a thread like a year ago announcing "100% Italian is no more" as a sad attempt to get people to give you attention and beg you to stay and do more episodes, then people called you out on it and you tried to play it off

Sounds like a beautiful memory. It takes 6 mobths for things to stick, so if you remember something for a year you'll likely remember it for the rest of your life. "Joe matarese" being called out on the Opie and Anthony subreddit for wanting attention, long forgotten and buried under dementia, will flash before your eyes as you succumb to death

Yeah you're right, I'm the one who comes off looking bad here for having a high IQ and good memory retention, not you for dutifully, righteously defending another adult male on the internet, who makes videos you like but that you would be too embarrassed to ever show to a girl you like in real life

If I ever want to wife up I'll give her full access to my Reddit history hold me to my word rapist with AIDS

[removed]

Welcome to reddit sockcucka! New users are able to submit posts after 3 days. If you think your post is a fair contribution to the subreddit, message the moderators for a faster approval.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Sweet troll bro. You're cool.

Don't try to reply to me in a cool, laid back, detached tone like you aren't really affected by this when you're angrily defending another male on the internet with sincere emotion

angrily

You’re the one who seems genuinely upset over this, pal. Take a chill pill.

I'm not defending another male dutifully with emotion while trying to act detached

Why are you pretending they're the same thing and that I'm somehow contradicting myself

Why do you have to lie? Is the reality of your existence not good enough? You couldn't win in the world of truth and fact so you had to retreat like a coward into lies and fabrications?

That's pretty pathetic

I’m working up the strength to be a man and just do it, thanks for your support.

Keep screaming bud. You don't sound at all like an obsessed child.

What a weak response

You're not good at this

Translation: you're better at this than me, and it hurts me

You're getting animated over what another man does on the internet. Pretty gay shit there, bud.

How can you be 100% Italian born and living in the US?

New Jersey

Even Jersey isn't 100%. You know how many of those guineas are half Irish or nigger or whatever... He's a fucking 100% dopey.

I know...that’s part of the bit.

Joe's bit is that he's a dopey fucking moron?
I thought his bit was performing at yard sales?

He wears many dunce hats.

his nana is from sicily.

Rhode island, Jersey, new York and Boston area still have 100 percent Italian. I imagine some philly. Happens to coincide with where O and A were big

You & Joe don't know what 100% means. Also you had to edit your post because you're stupid.

lol i can't get enough of that impression

it's like you can hear him pinch his fingers when he talks

Nothing worse than a depressed type who spends every waking moment thinking about themselves. Not a good egg.

Unlike the egg Ant sticks up his ass. That indeed is a good egg.

the most unfortunate of eggs

The good egg line is getting cringe-worthy

thats most of the people here

You are a saint.

This is the first time Ive listened to Joe Matarese. Does he always do this voice? Arties responses are clearly pre-recorded. what the fuck is this?

Careful bud. You don't wanna mess with an Italian. Remember what happened to Billy Batts?

Let's get everybody a drink

The sub has passed you by.

Whoever made this should meet the Nanette lady and then they should both fucking drown themselves

You truly are stupid.

Joe got pretty emotional near the end. Hope he's okay.

What's in his dumb hands? For some reason I always to think it's a pigeon.

Pills

Pills, but a pigeon or dove would be hilarious

Yeah those pill bottles look a lot like a pigeon you're right

Thank you for agreeing.

Did you ever start the Otto and George episode you teased at the end of the Patrice one?

I've been wondering that too, there will be a Bob Kelly episode as well hopefully. /u/Porsalin, comment?

That's joyous news.

Dave Landau?

Goddammit these are so good. We need a Matarese v. Matarese episode.

Even Jersey isn't 100%. You know how many of those guineas are half Irish or nigger or whatever... He's a fucking 100% dopey.

linger longer ya dope

If I ever want to wife up I'll give her full access to my Reddit history hold me to my word rapist with AIDS

I'm not defending another male dutifully with emotion while trying to act detached

Why are you pretending they're the same thing and that I'm somehow contradicting myself

Why do you have to lie? Is the reality of your existence not good enough? You couldn't win in the world of truth and fact so you had to retreat like a coward into lies and fabrications?

That's pretty pathetic

The Lakers beat the Cowboys.

I've been wondering that too, there will be a Bob Kelly episode as well hopefully. /u/Porsalin, comment?

Backdoor little Joseph.

Translation: you're better at this than me, and it hurts me

You're getting animated over what another man does on the internet. Pretty gay shit there, bud.