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I wonder if he used his garage door opener

sir, does rice vinegar contain alcohol? I'm in recovery is why I ask.

Even worse. it might contain sugar

Great day to get raw fish for delivery, it has at least an hour to incubate in 90 degree heat.

Wait, why does that make him an asshole?

I wish he had someone around to knock it out of his hands. :(

I’m glad he’s finally embracing the fact that he is (& always has been) a run of the mill hack

-Apartment number? -Penthouse. -name? -Jeff Lamp. -20 minutes, Jim.

I never understood why he always uses the word asshole to mean stupid. "I stubbed my toe. #Asshole"

He's a stupid asshole

Patrice on neck tattoos: "Do you know what an asshole you look like in a suit?"

Because his is constantly hurting from the previous nights rumpus session.

Well. He didn’t go to his crush’s restaurant to get some food and a free beverage.

In Oslo?

Princess Alena stirs Jim’s drink with its dick.

He’s learning from miss cook

The waitress he’s stalking told him she likes sushi. Either he’s never had sushi and is prepping himself in case she says yes, or he’s hoping she’ll find out who he is and read this.

Asshole.

Trying to be cute to endear yourself to women. There's a reason why someone like him can't get any fans and someone else in his position would be smashing box all day.

Jimmy is an old queeen. He licks mens ass holes and says tee hee

I bet it works out fine, once again he’s making a big deal out of nothing.

I don't get it

Yeah, me neither.

What's so funny about eating cold dishes in a hot day?

He should give those little soy sauce fishes to granthony to dye his hair tho

I'm guessing he's saying the fish will go bad in the heat but, unless he's going to leave it sitting out for a couple of hours before eating it, that wouldn't happen. This is what passes for humor for Norton these days, I guess.

Why would someone tweet that

Attention.

This is code for hiring a Asian male prostitute. Presumably to top as he calls himself (the) asshole

Last night I got so drunk I tried to open my door with a California roll.

FAG

Jim Norton has taught me that a good comedian needs to have interesting life experiences. You are a sad old man, Jim.

Also note, comedians don't tweet impromptu. Jim typed out this tweet several times in the textbox before he clicked "tweet". He truly believed this was worth sharing.

It's 73 degree out and I'm listening to Enya #Asshole

Did ya?

Even worse. it might contain sugar