I never could sit with my thoughts. I am already a little schizophrenic. I have a lot of neglected responsibilities. So the appeal of the show for me at least is something to where I do not have to think about my own life. Now after a certain point clearly I am better off sitting in silence. And then I realized I have not been able to not listen to some sort of talk radio/podcast for literally years. Every waking moment is cackling. Every moment is the show. So then the show becomes something that is not even really listened to but something that you can tune into that is always playing.

I just realized that maybe one of the reasons (aside from the predatory malicious nature of the hosts in general) the entire o&a universe is loathed is because no one is going to talk in a way that matches someones own inner monologue. If you live a depressing life of escapism at a certain point we all have opinions. And though there is something very warm and relatable about the back and forth on the show its not going to be able to replace ones own thoughts.

I have been sitting in silence all day and it feels like I skipped a huge chunk of this decade using the radio/podcasts to have to not think. If anyone else out there does this try to not have the show playing all the time I wish I would have been able to tell myself that earlier.