Lies my Nana told me
1 2018-06-24 by Christopher_Barton
- He is making more money now than he was at Sirius
- He didn't pay admitted male prostitute Sue Lightning for its services and they are platonic friends
- He didn't bomb at the Big Jay Oakerson roast
- He's still hilarious
- He didn't beat Dani or break her ribs
- He knew where his missing gun was, but was hiding it from Dani
- He still has his guns
- He's never taken HGH
- Kurt Love was introduced by Daniel If It Wasn't For My Dovid
- He helps people from ages 8-80 and self cutting girl was someone he wanted to support mentally. With iPads.
- The Compound Media app update is coming any day now
- A corrupt district attorney intentionally destroyed McMansion video surveillance footage that would have proved he never beat or bit his girlfriend
- He owns a media empire and is happier than he's ever been
- He's been called sexy
- If you have a problem with him, he would very much like it if you came to his house and said it to his face
- He was fired from Sirius for being a Trump supporter
- He was fired from Sirius because he said it was wrong for people to shoot cops in the back of the head.
- He has always believed in and been an advocate of traditional family values
- He is a talented singer and songwriter
- The accusations of him fucking a trans person are a concerted liberal agenda against a shock jock who lost his job five years prior
- Both his bans from twitter were a concerted liberal agenda
- He is not a pedophile
- He is not a racist
- He has never said anything racist
- He is not an alcoholic
- He does not use Twitter much
- When he does use Twitter, it is mostly humor and not political
- He is living a playboy lifestyle
- He keeps friends around him that contribute constructive criticism
- He is a millionaire that pays his employees well
- He will move to Texas someday
- He's an avid scaffolding photographer
- He dates models
- He is not so desperate for recapturing shock jock glory that he'll have any former Howard Stern flotsam on or host his show
- He is a confident, strong white male
- He is not bisexual
- His support of police officers is genuine, especially when they routinely have his license to drive taken away
- He and Jim Norton have a comedic chemistry and not an abhorrent rapport mired in humiliating & illegal sexual predilections
- His already more successful post-Sirius career will only be amplified by the studio in New York
- His talented, contributing and equally intelligent older brother is worthy of a continued monthly allowance to squander on himself and occasionally his child
- You are the ones spiraling towards obscurity, not him
- He has in a future in any entertainment medium
- He is not jealous or obsessed with every single career move Gregg "Opie" Hughes makes
- He isn't attracted to women of color and doesn't stalk them at three am in Times Square
- This subreddit is laughed at by he and his comedy cellar constituents
- He loves it when elitist celebrities get what's coming to them and hasn't secretly wanted to be one his entire miserable life
- He loved his mother
- His father loved him
- He is respected by others
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