Colin is a goddamn artist when it comes to this shit

My favorite was the Jeff Dunham line.

and the Quiet Riot Zing was great too.

Say it then

I know Bonnie feels if she was a male comic she'd be further along; if you were a male comic you'd be jeff dunham and that asshole next to you would be jalapeño on a stick.

Has Colin ever said one of these that isn't rib-crushingly hilarious? Top post is best post; this is a perfected art form for him. "Nice shirt, stupid" is a low-resolution imitation of Quinn by Norton; but belies Colin's true talent in making people feel silly for their attire

it's also his delivery. He does in that jocular, irish way. He was my favorite roaster of the evening and then Florentine.

Florentine listens to thin lizzy and stalked his wife's new boyfriend; in other words he's a fucking creep

As much shit as we give Florentine, he knocks it out of the park when he's motivated. When he's on a podcast he doesnt care much about the material he's throwing out there. But on albums and broadcast shit he's always great

"I don't think so"

He's so good at smashing Bobby

"you look like a last minute gift idea from the Beijing airport gift shop"

This fucking hurts because I got a last minute gift at Shanghai airport recently and now I realize I have a mini Bobby Kelly sitting on my kitchen island.

Braggart

There’s no such thing as a “mini Bobby Kelly.”

How about "equally fat but shorter Bobby Kelly"

How long were you waiting to shoe horn that it?

Yeah, just poring over Reddit everyday, waiting for someone to reference an airport gift from a Chinese city that resembles a comedian who used to appear on a popular radio show I used to listen to.

Now you're getting it.

and I misquote...

"Do you speak to tourist like that when you're selling them rugs in Istanbul?" (Pls correct and downvote if I butchered this line)

Close enough

"After the show you're scheduled to be slaughtered by a Cambodian village ritually." He also called Ant a Corsican Pimp in that same show, but "Back-alley Tunisian knife-fighter" will always be his greatest line. CQ is a legend.

Back alley is the greatest insult. Only thing close is the "Jimmy turns into whatever container you put him in"

the fact he added Tunisian is better imo, if you look up what a tunisian looks like, they look like anthony

colin is so worldly with his racism its hilarious

Tunisia is right across the water from Sicily so it makes sense.

The Cumia family probably came from Tunisia and the Ellis Island people couldn't be bothered to figure out how to spell their last name Khefaccha and just put down Cumia, and said they were wops.

Colin has like 5 good slams that reference different parts of the Eastern world for some reason but it makes them so much funnier.

You look like you should be standing in a hollowed out canoe playing a ukulele

You should be whipping huskies on a sled in Manitoba

Was Colin also the one who said that Bobby would never turn down a roast?

Vos was the roast one also.

"Just like witches at black masses! You twelve year old."

"Rich Vos coming out to paperback writer is no less ridiculous than this NERD coming out to a Black Sabbath song. But you're right Jim, we all have our music that we walk out to except you know, me and all the other pros."

He also called him a “Chinese bodyguard” LOL

Years ago (10+ years) Patrice referred to Bobby as a “Chinese bodyguard”

"You look good Bobby, you used to look like a fat ex football player and now you look like a fat ex wrestler"

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?"

holy shit that's funny

do you remember what show that's from?

https://youtu.be/GZ3z7-oQFyg

either that one or part 2, thats the best I can do

Scalping uncle cracker tickets. Besides the mumbling why the fuck is he not on tv? I'd get cable if he was on a series

(((They))) don’t give TV shows to conservatives

Fox news could certainly use the content, didnt they give that jew faggot lawyer from TMZ a show where he interviews gay icons? There has to be some way Quinn could get a show there.

I bet the only reason Quinn doesnt go down that route is because he hates the work schedule. I think they tried to do the same with Dennis Miller. They even wanted Miller for the world cup he said no.

I think Colin is self-loathing enough that even though he’s a conservative, he hates the conservative media.

besides the mumbling

His marble mouth shit is what got Tough Crowd canceled. That and the poor ratings.

"Do you swear when you're selling rugs to tourists in Istanbul? No? Well then don't do it here."

I’m working on a painting called Tibetan Lesbian on Couch.

To follow that up with this gem is one of his defining moments..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv1riHqBhdM

Describing Vos and Anthony- "They look like two dumb Yemeni cousins."

"You should be spearing a whale in Manitoba"

buffet molester

Colin is the greatest.

imagine if Colin and and Norm butt fucked

Had a butt baby

And that butt Baby was like the rebirth of Patrice

"I hope Ozzy gets electrocuted"

I hope Ozzy gets electrocuted.

The uncle cracker line was immense. Unsurprisingly Colin was easily the best.

He once told a story about punching Fat Bob in the gut on a bus and said he ‘went down like a blowdarted Bison’.

He’s the greatest man that has ever lived.

You bald acorn.

"Bobby Kelly looks like a Chinese Clemenza."

We almost lost the man this year :(

Not Colin but “You missed it Bobby ya big fat pig” is still great.

He said Anthony looks like a “Kandahar catering hall manager” and Sam looks like a “prehistoric Ed Sheeran”

That was the same one where he called Jimmy " a shorn lamb"

He called Vos and Anthony "Yemeni cousins"

The Iranian Kevin James

I like when he called Lucky Louie King of Queens with curses.

"Nooo, Bobo! Don't die for your art!"

"By the way, one of the bikers there has a half ostrich shell cup for Norton to ride around in, as a hat swing". Opie was dying laughing and i could already imagine Norton scowl face

hat swing

You realize its hatchling right?

Voice text is an ass

If you talk like a fucking retard

Language dear boy

Pardon me, ever so sorry.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=hatchling&amp=true

Ah, so it was just a Buddah joke again repackaged?

I heard this guys mother is a huge cunt

BEIJING AIRPORT xD
We get it

Wow that's just so amazing... *BOO

Check out LSS (Long story short) or the Toosh

All my favourite moments of his were on radio. I enjoyed the Toosh as well though. Now die for criticising beloved Colin.

New York Story was very good.

No it wasn't. It was boring. That's why it's always a joke when they roast Colin. He sucks.

Nostalgia on the beginning of MTV when it was new and still good. Was a big deal for us kids of the 80’s.

It’s like you kids with your fresh prince

He was great on Oand A

Can’t remember it verbatim, but he said Bobby looks like a bouncer in a Hong Kong casino “Mr Bob, they’re hitting on sixteen! I think they’re card counting!”

First you must go through... HASUKI

"I'm shooting something in Vegas Friday" - Jim

"Yourself we hope" - Colin

Where'd he say that?

epic win

Also "bobby gets in a lot of arguments with other comics, I asked him whos his biggest enemy, he said captain ahab"

When Colin was on with Bobby, you really got to hear how shitty of a comic Robert Kelly really is. He would bomb over and over, and just say "No that was good stupid".

How is this a great line? He took the sentence "Bob Kelly looks like buddah" and re-phrased it. It's low effort. Anyone could come up with this. You're all dumb.

It’s imaginative and evocative.

Again, you're all dumb.

One of Colin’s best slams on Bobby was that he “looked like a souvenir a tourist would pick up at the Beijing airport”

Seems the Cumia family is dying out.

http://forebears.io/surnames/cumia

Only 236 people with that last name left in the world.

Didn't he also say that Kurt Metzger looks like a Bosnian war criminal?

Bobo - I'm a little stuffed up with the allergies

CQ - Yeah well What do you expect this is allergy season.

I liked when Patrice said that Joe Derosas Dad couldn’t have a heart to heart with him because his hand would slip off Joe’s shoulder.

Has Colin ever said one of these that isn't rib-crushingly hilarious? Top post is best post; this is a perfected art form for him. "Nice shirt, stupid" is a low-resolution imitation of Quinn by Norton; but belies Colin's true talent in making people feel silly for their attire

No it wasn't. It was boring. That's why it's always a joke when they roast Colin. He sucks.