It's a heartbreaking journey for The Littlest Homo.

You have inspired me.

Teamwork makes the dream work :)

Who's Dave Smith?

Dave Smith is an insurance adjuster from Topeka, and a wrestling coach from Billings, and a high school vice principle from New Rochelle, and a chemical engineer from Birmingham, and a CPA from Charlotte, and a bus driver from San Mateo, and a convicted murderer from Spokane, and a gym teacher from Bayonne...

he is everyman

and yet at the same time he is no man...

Some dude who makes synthesizers.

and knocked her up.

What?

How wasn't this big news on our cesspool?!

A dumb italian and a dumb jew, what are the odds the little gabagool comes out as a Bobo?

I made a "her uterus is like a cage, maan" joke at the time, for what it's worth...

Jimmy did however point out Dave's awful delivery with constant stammering and looking for words. I actually didn't mind or notice it before but now it drives me crazy. FUCKING SAY IT ALREADY.

Next time you're listening to him you should count how many times he says "like".

He also has the valley girl vocal fry.

All this confirms that this man should be nowhere near a mic, ever. What I find weird that out of all the people on all the shows Lauren chose him. There have to have been bunch of guys coming on to her and he chose the fucking pseudo intelligent retard.

Fez could alpha male Jim Norton

Hey!

Dave is mad funny you crazy

Meanwhile Norton fell in love with Dolph Lundgren and had his black little heart broken after he was ripped off by it.

2018 will be a bad year for this sub if it ends without that little worm being forced to address that.

I need to hear him squirm while he tries to justify falling in love with and wanting to marry a 20 year old tranny cam whore who lost interest in him the minute the tokens ran out.

Never addressed the 60k he stole.

I don’t think people are bothering him enough about that.

you fucking reddit dudebros with your constant fucking alpha, beta, and cuck shit all the time. What a bunch of whiney fucks you all are...I can't believe this is what you spend all your time fixated on.

He has the political and intellectual nous of a cabbage and is about as funny as an acute attack of diverticulitis.

Anyone that tries this hard to be witty has no clue what an alpha is.

His girlfriend quit her job and then he lied about laughing so hard that his sides hurt, what's "alpha" about that? Or is the alpha part when he publicly brought it up but then wouldn't discuss it on air with Jim? Or what about when he was getting bashed relentlessly online for it and called a truce, was that the alpha part?

“Dullard”

I really fuckin hate 99% of all O&A fans that have ever lived.

Does it enrage you?

Nah, it just embarrasses me, since *(at least at one point in time anyway)* I may have had something in common with them.

Interesting. You might be an ally. I have a couple of quick questions - first, are you a fucking idiot? Get back to me and we'll talk.

The fact that I’m giving your question the benefit of the doubt as being genuine not withstanding -

No, I’m not a fucking idiot.

Cool. Can you tell me more about your hatred/self-loathing regarding O&A fandom?

Why certainly, glad you asked!

Essentially, I feel like the majority of the users on this sub are "evolved" Pests. You see, similar to the general tenor of this sub, the fact that the Pests always fancied themselves as being a part of the Opie & Anthony show, when it was plainly obvious to everyone (except Opie) that they were all unfunny neckbeard closeted faggots, who are worthy of nothing but contempt.

They used to feed off of Opie constantly predicting that the show would "die at the hand of the Pests", and now they feed off of the fact that they have multiple ways to directly aggravate Opie, Anthony, Jim, Sam, ERock, etc. to the degree that there's almost no way they won't get noticed at least some of the time. The difference is that now Anthony, and Jim are more free to acknowledge that they're unfunny neckbeard closeted obnoxious faggots, and they were never valued as contributing anything to what made the show enjoyable.

I don't have any self-loathing tendencies really, I just hate the idea that I could potentially be accused as having anything in common with them. Except one. That person knows who they are, and they're exempt from my hatred.

In terms of specific topics here on the sub:

• I don't get any enjoyment from "Pesting" Anthony. The dude always was, and to this day continues to be hysterical. I've been listening to him for more than 20 years, and for whatever reason, my worldview has changed at roughly the same rate, and towards the same direction his has (publicly). I couldn't agree more with his thoughts on race relations in our country, I'm a fan of at least 75% of the movies he quotes endlessly, I'm interested in a lot of the hobbies he mentions, and I don't give a flying fuck who he has sex with.

• I've mentioned it before, but our first exposure to Jim Norton was a story Dice told about him drinking piss out of a plastic cup. With that in mind, the fact that anyone here ever tries to claim any self-righteous indignation about any alleged moral or ethical shortcoming he has stuns me. For me, the fact that he's hilarious is good enough.

• Fuck Opie.

Except one. That person knows who they are, and they're exempt from my hatred.

Is it that black chick that everyone is always drooling over and jerking off about?

I don't agree with all of your bullet points, but you seem like a nice fellow and you've got a good head on your shoulders. Thanks for your reply and remember (((AIDS lmao)))

There's always a door nob and a belt, you belly aching fucking cry baby bitch.

You could just put a gun in your mouth and gently squeeze that trigger..... JUST DO IT!!!

Because I rolled my eyes at the fact that OP used the word “dullard” in a non ironic way?

Its the same as going to reb lobster and thinking u alphaed the scallop on ur plate

the political and intellectual nous

oh give me a fucking break...that sounded really natural, nice thesaurus stupid.

That's actually an excellent word to help demonstrate his point. Fawwwkinn haaaaterrr...

a) not particularly

b) i didn't say it was used incorrectly, dope...i said it sounded completely unnatural, which it did

c) (((minorities with AIDS)))

It was perfectly natural. He was searching for new ways to express how shitty Dave Smith is and it came off like a guy trying to do exactly that. It wasn't a perfect sentence, but you just seem like the type of insecure retard who wants to believe any time someone else uses a somewhat uncommon or lengthy word it must be because they looked it up first since you wouldn't have thought of it

I'm not sure you fully absorbed item c.

Jim Norton tried to wine and dine a camboy.

So.... What exactly did Dave win?

I mean for real, i think Jimmy really dodged the bullet here, for me that little weasel is the big winner.

Fuck Dave and his untalented chin bitch.

It was perfectly natural. He was searching for new ways to express how shitty Dave Smith is and it came off like a guy trying to do exactly that. It wasn't a perfect sentence, but you just seem like the type of insecure retard who wants to believe any time someone else uses a somewhat uncommon or lengthy word it must be because they looked it up first since you wouldn't have thought of it

Teamwork makes the dream work :)