nice to see a pest get a hot babe like that. hopefully the opester gets him on the Opie Radio FREE podcast soon.

Opie did make him famous.

He has the impulse control of a 4 year old

Worked out well. Maybe we could all use some kindergarten wisdom.

Your lips, God's ears.

Yeah, he really needs to dodge that bullet that is young, rich, uber hot Ariana grande

Lol. He was getting the milk for free. He is marrying her because he cannot control his emotions and hes just a kid with puppy love and no life experience

If he indeed was successful in marrying Ariana Grande, he’d be getting money, not losing money. She’s way way richer than him.

Secondly, he’s not marrying her anyway. She’s probably creeped out by this engagement after two weeks. This proposal will pretty quickly be the end of his access to this “milk”.

Oh hey dude, I remember you being stupid on a different thread, so is that sort of like your thing here?

Oh hey dude. Looks like you are alone on this. Huh?

Sorry i offended you with my opinion on ariana grande

Yeah man, flexing about internet points is way cool.

You motherfuckers literally gossip about celebrities and pay attention to downvotes, and then you want to pretend you’re the Anti-Reddit. It’s fucking hilarious honestly.

Both of you shut up please

Naw, fuck you. Thanks though.

There you are, flexing your internet points. Tool.

What? I’m getting downvoted to hell, how am I “flexing internet points”. Try to make sense.

See I thought you meant like a salient point. Guess that makes me the tool huh??

Yes, correct.

Fucking nerds and your gay ass internet.

He’ll be a duck in a month.

Well with a failed fireman father, what do you expect

Murder suicide incoming.

Hopefully

I hope he flinches and blows his face off and has to live like the dude who tried to kill himself because some subliminal lyrics in a Judas Priest song.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WNSn_07uzJ4/TmMNFC57IRI/AAAAAAAAAE0/MwjY74qP6MU/s1600/james+vance.png

At that point, why not just try again? Reminds me of the bit they did about those guys that fail their suicide attempt but gain a new lease on life.

I have a zest for life now!

i think they new identity of a suicide survivor mixed with the ability to have a second chance sustains them for a while. i have 2 people i know in my small town that are missing half a face now and i try to keep tabs on them since i am planning to commit suicide soon. neither have had a second attempt and their wives look hotter by comparison

be sure to livestream it so people here can loff

Hey pal don’t do it. Unless you’re a pedo.

nah, if someone wants to off themselves let it happen. Ill never understand people saying DONT DO IT. They obviously hate their life. Why would you want them alive?

Take the two Opies with you for the good of humanity

im always wondering. when u decide to kill yourself why not get some heroin beforehand?

or even suicide by heroin overdose

i haven’t had a heroin connection in over a year, the last time i did it i smoked it for like a month but thought i would t get w/ds and was wrong. i work over 60 hrs a week and really am just fighting the disease of depression so i get through each day the best i can. recently saw you can get heroin on craigslist by searching for rooofing tar and i started drinking again trying not to relapse or get arrested. suicide has become so real to me that i am desperately fighting against it. im going to try to seek help again cause i don’t want to have to end it like this.

oh man that sounds serious.

i hope you get better. No luck with SSRIs?

Dont kill yourself dude

Oh, please dont suggest SSRIs to the gentleman. That shit will drive him directly to dope and/or suicide.

I think SSRIs are what allow dumbfucks to shoot up schools and whatnot.

If you work 60 a week get on suboxone dude. After a few weeks, you'll have to wait 3 or 4 days to even be able to use again which is more than enough time to reconsider using. I know it's easier said than done, but the buprenorphine Jew saved my life. Not even kidding, I was sucking dicks for money and shit, now I have 5 years off everything but weed and subs of course. Very much worth it if you are a lost cause/late stage junkie like I was. You fucking faggot.

But you still suck dicks right?

Agree entirely. Switching from 'done over to Subs next week.

Just a couple thoughts reading this

Addiction is a tricky thing. I had a similar experience where I was able to use for long periods of time without wd as long as I took breaks in between, but your brain slowly adjusts and eventually you will get wd, it's just a matter of time. I can't tell you when that will be, just be aware.

I totally understand the allure of treating depression with painkillers. I won't tell you what to do, but I just want to remind you that it is a really dark path to go down. I know you already know this, but try your best to find alternatives .

I would say go to a doctor if you can. Another thing that might work is kratom. It's not great to have to use kratom every day, but it sure beats alcoholism or heroin addiction. I don't generally advocate for kratom and would advise a normal person to stay away from it, but in your case that might be a good first step.

Hope everything works out.

Thanks for taking the time to give me some advice. Im not an opiate guy really. i do around a gram of thc concentrates a day and drink atleast a half a bottle of whiskey. i take pills when i can get them but i’m more into uppers after i started doing meth. i haven’t had any connections to drugs for almost 2 years and besides the heroin binge last year i hadn’t done it for probably 3 years. i want to try to get completely sober for some time but i can’t stop dabbing.

thanks for taking the time to give some advice. I haven’t had access to hard drugs for a long time and dab around a gram of thc concentrates and drink about half a bottle of whiskey a day. that has been going on for over two years now. before that i was taking more drugs and still smoking a lot of weed. Im more of an uppers guy, i loved meth the couple years i did it and was always on adderall and ritalin as a kid. heroin and downers haven’t grabbed me as much but i still take all the pills i can get my hands on and have had weird binges on phenibut and stuff like that. im mostly just suicidal right now and want to disconnect. i’ve been super drunk and scatterbrained the past couple days so i haven’t been able to reply to any of you guys who reached out. but i really appreciate it and wish i could coherently explain what i’m going through in hopes that one of you can help or relate.

I hope everything works out for you man. Good luck. I'm not on reddit often, but feel free to send me a dm if you need to. I was addicted to painkillers and basically had to relearn how to be happy after I quit. Everyone's journey is different and only you can decide what the best path is for you, but I can offer my perspective if you ever are questioning yourself.

I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise but don't you kinda want to see how everything plays out? Never mind the soap opera that is this sub but we are close to many breakthroughs technologically. I'd say think twice about it, unless you are a Pedo or want to take a bunch of people with you.

yea that’s why. i have a weird narcissism and know i’m better than most other people and perform higher then them in a lot of areas. i just am so depressed and overly self aware and paralyzed by anxiety at times. i want to get through it because if i’m in the moment people really like me and appreciate me. i just can’t maintain relationships and push people away and honestly go months just thinking about nothing but suicide and really don’t care about anything.

He did, and succeeded the second time.

It just took him a while to get the means together, as his meddling parents kept him away from the shotgun.

Ropes are pretty accessible as is booze and barbiturates.

Yea let me just call my barbiturates guy.

Get me some Quaaludes while you have your 70's drug dealer on the phone.

As long as the 70's drug dealer is on the phone can you guys pick me up some LSD? The only place were I can find it is on ultra-skeezy places in the dark web where I'm sure 90 percent of the time it's some sort of shitty european knockoff GHB that'll fucking kill me.

Theres testing kits you fucking retard.

He could've used a hotel robe belt. A fella wouldn't think it would be strong enough but they are

Good to know.

That's great! It costs less than a dollar to turn yourself into a Jim Henson creature!

Mr Potato head

That's fake right?

No that's really that guy, considering he shot himself in the face with a shotgun I'd say he looks pretty alright.

His nose is better than Artie’s

Holy fuck i didnt realize mr show was piss taking something that actually happened that makes it so much more vicious lmao

Try, try, try again Headfirst this time Jump right in!

Titanica!

my friends dad did that in high school. they have had some fucked up christmas cards since.

Pete when she gets creeped out and breaks it off.

https://media.giphy.com/media/8TNHNwBEhhc4g/giphy.gif

I can’t wait!

Pete Peterson

I'll be eagerly awaiting the daily mail news notification to drop down of "SNL member kills self and Ariana Grande in murder-suicide" while watching some heroin addiction or serial killer documentary etc.

I was just about to post that.

As hatable as he is, he might be a fucking genius. She is sexy and worth $35 million. He has the worst tattoos imaginable and looks like he has jaundice.

What is his secret?

His secret is that women are retards

Massive penis.

In his mouth and ass

He can spell 'hateable', stupid.

Don't mean to be petty, but both spellings are correct.

I think he was saying his head is suitable for a hat

Dunce Cap

One shaped like a bullet

Actually, they're both correct, double stupid, but this is an instance of my shitty tablet autocorrecting something without me noticing.

Both spellings are acceptable, you jellyfish.

He's on TV?

He uses the old daddy died in 9/11 trick. Fawkin works every time

My Daddy died in the nam, all i got was the girl that runs the gas station cash register to blow me in the bathroom.

At least he didn't die for nothing.

Perhaps a bit more than that

Isn't he very tall? Like 6'6 or something? Maybe Ariana doesn't want a midget son.

$35 million? That little slut makes more than that on a single tour.

She loved his phony Stangle feud.

Wtf

Shall we just merge this sub with r/tmzposts?

The percentage of faggots would remain exactly the same.

Perhaps less.

I wonder how this will go...

http://seinfeld.wikia.com/wiki/The_Invitations

Good for them. I just pray she dont wear a damn drawstring ponytail at the wedding

That’s the gayest sit I’ve ever seen posted here.

Is this really you?

https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/8ppqtv/i_have_masturbated_to_this_picture_every_day_for/

It is. I think she's having a tough evening though.

Faggot

Good for him. If I were him I’d do the same thing. And I’d pump as many kids into her as I could.

Playing the long game. I like it.

EXCEPT NOT LONG CUZ HIZ PEKKAS SHORT

GET IT

It's the "long con" you fucking imbecile.

Ugh. And 16 fucking idiots upvoted that stupidity.

This.

It's win/win for the dude. God bless him.

It's not a win when she dumps him and he relapses on marijuana.

Maybe he’ll graduate to heroin.

From your lips to god's ears.

Fuck him. He’s a shmarmy little cunt. And he has a Hillary tattoo.

Top-shelf pussy with a huge pile of money. Plus many (most?) SNL people have shitty careers after the show.

He needs to dodge that pre-nup at all costs.

Plus many (most?) SNL people have shitty careers after the show.

t.Joe Piscopo

this is the part where you pop in with your show plug here joe

Hey, I'd let him.

[removed]

Stop writing backslashes you fucking lunatic.

Nigga fuck the prenup, she has WAY more money than he ever will. Halle Berry's ex-husband gets like $15K a month in child support. If he pumps a baby into her, that gimp-looking little fuck could strike gold.

known stand up Colin Quinn would like a word with you. LOL!!

Jay Mohr called. He would like a word.

Playing the Lyle Lovett game.

And then you strangle them in a steroid induced rage?

Que sera, sera

[removed]

Whirlwind romance, quick marriage, hyper-emotional fella...

Sounds like he went to the Chris Benoit School of Love.

We can only hope.

The dogs are in the enclosed 9/11 memorial.

He texted that to the Stangels.

She strikes me as a bit of a nutter herself

This will end great

Murder suicide.

Hopefully he’lol graduate with the same honors

and now the break up

This'll be a treat

Pete is a gold digger and im not mad about it at all

It's kind of a genius move to be honestwithcha

He's clearly aiming to have a great special ( or 5 minutes) about this in a few years.

Anthony Bourdain was rich, talented and dating a hot chick. Pete is Poor and Untalented. RIP Pete!

I figured he had a heart attack. Just found out that faggot hung himself with a bathrobe. How embarrassing.

How is it that he's dating Arianna Grande and starring on SNL and I feel bad for him and think to myself "jeez this kid isn't making great decisions in life"

That’s easy to answer; you’re lying to yourself. We all do it, although not all of us are so obvious about it.

[removed]

I’m surprised she said yes, and that’s not a knock on him. I just figured she wouldn’t be the type to settle down so quickly

I like that you think they're actually going to go through with this thing

Well I’m not saying they will, just surprised she said yes.

It's great publicity.

Yeah, she really needed that old viral-Hillary-tattoo-guy boost.

if only he had a father to talk him out of his impulsive behavior.

This is probably the first and only time pops Davidson will ever smile at Pete from heaven.

Vic Henley better be the best man for helping launch his “career”. What an embarrassment.

She said yes to make Mac Miller jelly

mac miller is the poor man's machine gun kelly

MGK is the poor man's Yelawolf

Yelawolf is poor man’s Slim Jesus

This guy just left Larry David money on the table and somehow still upgraded.

Source?

Larry David still has a good 20-30 years left most likely, Ariana has her own money that she doesn't have to go to daddy to get.

Maybe he can share an Instagram picture of the text from the divorce paperwork being tattooed on his back when she inevitably leaves him.

You win!

He probably played his father died on 9/11 card.

Ohhhhh boy. This is going to end tragically.

She entinced meeee

Like his dad’s work day on 9/11/01

It's a great move to secure and extend those pussy rights for more that it's expected ( less than 6 months ).

The problem is, the boy is living in fantasy land and will not be able to handle the inevitable end.

Pete Davidson will be dead before he's 30

Or when she breaks off the engagement.

Literally the smartest decision anyone has ever made.

Opie will not be invited to the wedding.

And I bet it wouldn't be a 3 day wedding either.

I was listening to a clip the other day and Opie said that people that throw multiple day weddings are self centered assholes. He was right.

Any word on the Stangles?

Well we all know what she likes. Scrawny pencil armed, chest plate bulging faggots. So cooooool

He needed the monnneeey oh!

This fag falls in love almost as fast as Anthony Cumia.

This marriage totally WILL NOT end in 6 months.

A love for the ages, I'm sure!

Isn't marriage law in that shithole California so that the breadwinner has to pay spousal support regardless of the gender? That faggot will be well off if that's the case.

She's gonna get some of that 9/11 insurance money.

implying it's a bad thing he locked that up

Smart move. She's hot and rich.

The Kevin federline school of dating

never forget

He’s a mental case comic who can’t do better. She’s a hot piece of ass aging like bread, not wine.

I can understand his motives.

This will end well.

what are they 14?

wow talk about a true simp. after chilling with her for 4 weeks, nigga wants to spend the rest of his life with her lol

I hope he comes home to find a gang of those fellas Ant doesn't like and does the Asia Argento boyfriend thing.

Who cares how long they have known each other? He gets to fuck Ariana Grande!!!!!!

Resident Asshole, Pete Davidson. That how he should be addressed

literally who the fuck is thsi guy?

why are there so many threads about him here? can you please stop that

He's an ugly young successful dude, cucked by Hillary and has no redeemable qualities.

It's a perfect hate boner for Reddit

can you blame him?

Slow news day, huh?

It's Britney and K-Fed all over again.

Sucker for love ass nigga

You gotta lock that down before she comes to her senses.

Tom Arnold JR

Pete Davidson is a weak-headed faggot.

Smartest thing Pete’s ever done.

Ironically this is why it won't last as long as it may have otherwise. Pete is a dumb mother fucker.

Did you guys know his dad died in 9/11?

After she divorces him will he get a tattoo of her because of "how strong she is"?

I feel like he's living Soder's life.

But she's proven to crave black dick.

This idiot is so unstable that this relationship will run like a real-life Black Snake Moan.

He's packing according to LOS

Will Opie be his best man?

Yeah, people with borderline personality disorder are perfectly fine at engaging in healthy and stable relationships.

This definitely won't end poorly for the depressive mope

This engagement is going to crumble faster then the towers crumbled on Pete’s dead daddy.

Borderline Personality Disorder will make you do crazy, stupid shit. He gambled and won. Unfortunately, the jokes about murder-suicide aren't too far off.

His decision making skills are strong. SEE: Tattoo:Clinton, Hillary. Nahh this won't end badly.

What's his connection to O&A? How come everyone here hates him?

He appeared a lot towards the end of Opie with Jim. He and Opie had a bit of a bromance. He also had some kind of major beef with the Stangels.

Thank god I do not know who either of those people are. Suppose they are some kind of "musicians" kids like these days.

well obviously you'd want to lock that shit down before it woke up and saw sense

Bitch looks like someone put in the big head code on NBA Jam.

I would fuck the shit out of that bitch. Hoping for a sextape

He should ask the expert on romance, Jim Norton, for marriage advice.

This is what happens when your father swan dives off the Twin Towers.

Ariana Grande is worth $45 million

Pete just upped his net worth by $44.5 million.

Let's be honest, he's a young dude way below her level in terms of fame or money, so why wouldn't he try to marry her? Imagine if you got to date whoever was famous and hot when you were young. You'd probably go all in and try to go as far as possible, and if anything, they might split up and he'll take half her shit. Win/win for ol' O&A fan Pete.

i hear she needs new follicles. Anybody know someone who could give her advice?

Not that I really care about any of it, but apparently the dude she just dumped a month ago, shitty white rap fag with gay songs about sobriety Mac Miller, wasn't taking it very well to begin with. Say what you want but I actually feel bad for the kid- they're together for a good while, she tells him to kick rocks, and then she's engaged to some other douchebag and flaunting it publicly a month later. What a cunt.

Another hanging comedian, coming soon.

Attempt to rid genome of "Crohns Disease" (Asshole eyes&personality :AssCanNazi: inherited by repeated INCESTitude).

i haven’t had a heroin connection in over a year, the last time i did it i smoked it for like a month but thought i would t get w/ds and was wrong. i work over 60 hrs a week and really am just fighting the disease of depression so i get through each day the best i can. recently saw you can get heroin on craigslist by searching for rooofing tar and i started drinking again trying not to relapse or get arrested. suicide has become so real to me that i am desperately fighting against it. im going to try to seek help again cause i don’t want to have to end it like this.

oh man that sounds serious.

i hope you get better. No luck with SSRIs?

Dont kill yourself dude

If you work 60 a week get on suboxone dude. After a few weeks, you'll have to wait 3 or 4 days to even be able to use again which is more than enough time to reconsider using. I know it's easier said than done, but the buprenorphine Jew saved my life. Not even kidding, I was sucking dicks for money and shit, now I have 5 years off everything but weed and subs of course. Very much worth it if you are a lost cause/late stage junkie like I was. You fucking faggot.

Yeah, she really needed that old viral-Hillary-tattoo-guy boost.

She's gonna get some of that 9/11 insurance money.

Just a couple thoughts reading this

Addiction is a tricky thing. I had a similar experience where I was able to use for long periods of time without wd as long as I took breaks in between, but your brain slowly adjusts and eventually you will get wd, it's just a matter of time. I can't tell you when that will be, just be aware.

I totally understand the allure of treating depression with painkillers. I won't tell you what to do, but I just want to remind you that it is a really dark path to go down. I know you already know this, but try your best to find alternatives .

I would say go to a doctor if you can. Another thing that might work is kratom. It's not great to have to use kratom every day, but it sure beats alcoholism or heroin addiction. I don't generally advocate for kratom and would advise a normal person to stay away from it, but in your case that might be a good first step.

Hope everything works out.

I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise but don't you kinda want to see how everything plays out? Never mind the soap opera that is this sub but we are close to many breakthroughs technologically. I'd say think twice about it, unless you are a Pedo or want to take a bunch of people with you.

Your lips, God's ears.