[removed]

No woman gives a handjob as well as I masturbate.

what about ur dad

All knuckle.

Moose knuckle

White knuckle

But handjobs feel better despite the reckless friction

If you like that, try construction worker hands. They are ribbed with callouses for your pleasure.

Well we cant all have smooth manicured hands there pal. Some of us have to punch a clock for a living. Maybe my hands aren't too rough, maybe your dick is too soft? Schink about it, I mean what the hell do I know?

Does the foreman know you're a convicted felon

My "Foreman" is a faggot. You two would probably get along great, you want his number?

No, that's ok thanks. Keep your nose clean convict.

I try not to do cocaine unless its free

That's how I feel about blow jobs

June 10, 2018 Joe Cumia is still a asshole, he has a long unbroken streak going since the 50's

Seeing all of the twitter screencaps from the elderly folks in the O&Averse, Nana, Matarese, etc. makes me really think about why a staggeringly large number of irrelevant old men care about social media and why they think that the internet cares about them and their opinions.

Seriously what the fuck is up with this behavior?

I heard a black lady say outside the deli earlier "It aint gon rain today doe..." Well thanks for the weather report Shaniqua. It is currently raining.

Why would you go to the same place as those people?

I figured out that sound clip they play of that fake John Wayne rap song. The one that goes like:

Da-ha da-ha. Da ha ha ha-ha-ha

Is actually referenced in the song "Juicy" by the Notorious B.I.G.:

Remember Rappin Duke? Da-Ha Da-Ha

You never thought that hip hop would take it this far

Rappin' Rodney is better

So is "Rappin' Richard." No dignity, no dignity.

After spending a little while here, I have realized that most of you are far, far less intelligent than you think you are.

Who here hurt your feelings, sweet boy?

No one. But most of you seem to think you’re on the cutting edge of post-modern shock comedy. And most of you also seem to think that means you’re really smart.

I can’t tell whether this place or MDE is more mind-numbing lame.

Good thing you're above it all

Sick burn.

But I didn't say I'm above "it all" - I said most of the people who post on this sub are far less intelligent than they think they are. Which has kind of always been true of O&A fans in general. It's part of what ruined the show, when O&A started to believe they were super edgy and intelligent (instead of just funny).

The sense of freedom and glee that comes with saying "faggot" and "nigger" on the internet gets old quickly - unless, of course, you're an idiot. In that case, it offers a lifetime of naughty enjoyment.

Nice username, by the way. When I was in high school that really would have set me back on my heels!

I'm not reading all that drivel

Sure you're not.

Real sorry I hurt your feelings about your previous sub. I take it back, you're all very smart and hilarious.

Thanks man

this guy's cool

I hope you stick around. You're a real breath of fresh air.

Let us know when you figure it out.

Will do, and thanks for proving my point.

Faggot

Wow. You called me "faggot" twice. It really is the Wild West around here.

Shut the fuck up, faggot.

Like most good things in life, there are people who make it worth while, and there are people who fuck it up by being cringey edgelords. Normal people just come here to laugh and try to be funny. You shouldn’t take the stupidity to heart. Besides, you’re probably arguing with a kid.

More likely to be a 45 year old man

Late 20s, whyy?

post-modern shock comedy

shut the fuck up

No, no - it’s not “funny” without a racial slur or a reference to AIDS.

stop trying to deconstruct the stupid shit you've concocted in your head in front of everyone

You’re right, thinking sucks.

Gay (((nogs))) have faggit AIDS.

Do you have AIDS or something? It seems to come up often in the dumb shit you imagine and then sarcastically impersonate.

(((Women with secret penises)))

AIDS

We all agree you're not funny.

(((Pests))) get defensive when you point out how conformist and boring they are!

are you calling pests jewish?

((( )))

by the way i just read through your post history and discovered that you're one of those "our culture is being destroyed!!!" dipshits...i really love you fearful little dummies.

your melodramatic defensiveness about my comments makes so much more sense now. you probably think that identifying with this board and MDE means that you "get it" and "see through the bullshit" right? you weren't born yesterday! the things you hate about your life are the responsibility of (((other people))).

Anthony's fearful ignorance, Opie's total lack of self-awareness...you actually embody these qualities, so you spend your time scorning them. it's fascinating really (just kidding, it's just sad and stupid).

by the way i just read through your post history and discovered that you're one of those "our culture is being destroyed!!!" dipshits...i really love you scared little dummies.

only faggots scour post histories, i thought you were some goofy troll but now you've revealed yourself to be a bitchy effortposter.

your melodramatic defensiveness about my comments makes so much more sense now.

melodramatic? how? i have been passively making fun of you. oh no, are you doing that gay shit where you try to imply i am being more emotional than you? a pretentious "u mad?" i never once looked at your post history so i am not upset or angry like you, but let's see where the rest of this comment goes.

you probably think that identifying with this board and MDE means that you "see through the bullshit" right?

no, except i see you as a contrarian faggot trying desperately to pigeon-hole me and this entire sub in terms of comedy and doing a bad job at it.

Anthony's fearful ignorance, Opie's total lack of self-awareness...you actually embody these qualities, so you spend your time scorning them.

lol this is such a 18 year old's idea of enlightenment. hey, do you think people who don't like gay people are gay too? people who don't like nazis are nazis? people who don't like pedophiles are pedophiles? see, you have a retarded way of looking at the world. you desperately want to be "above" everyone here - for some strange reason - so you want to believe everyone here is secretly like the people they mock. this is based on absolutely nothing other than your own twisted pathology.

so the real question is: why do you want everyone here to be what they hate? what is it about this sub that has you wanting everyone here to be broken?

why is this sub your version of the show that this sub mocks?

[removed]

How did you come to that conclusion, oh wise one?

My IQ is 141

I eat my own shit because I'm smart

Plenty of tickets left for the live Chip podacasts in September. The first one sold out before it even went on sale and dummy Norton waits a year to do another. Nice striking while the iron is lukewarm, stupid.

Monkey cum

What kind of monkey?

There’s a chick I work with who might be kinda fuckable if she quit being fat. How might one explain this to her?

How fat?

So fat that I’d probably gag while fucking her now, but not so fat that I can’t see her potential as a fixer-upper.

just fuck her, soldier. Too much skylarking around here

Atta boy.

Might need to just do it anyway. For the goof.

If she quit being fat she wouldn't fuck you.

hurr durr im on ketamine

yaaayyy

drugs suck. All the time you read "oh wow ketamin is so good, GHB is the bomb, Kratom is awesome"

and they all stink. Drugs are so unsatisfying.

The only good highs are the first 3 lines of coke but that only lasts 20 minutes each and is ridiculously expensive and u have a bad comedown. or the first few times u take mdma but that gets old real fast.

benzos are to subtle that u almost cant feel it and when you reach the treshold for a good buzz ull have a blackout and wont remember most.

Opiates are supposed to be good but codeine was fun only once and just boring afterwards and for everything stronger in that category you have every single opioid addict on the internet telling you that they wished they havent had tried it so i have to stay away from oxys etc

shut up

Psychedelics

I did a bit of acid today but only ~60mcg . I might give microdosing another try in a couple of days

Braunheiser is wheelchair bound!

IHON

There are an endless amount of times where Tits came off terribly unfunny with no self awareness BUT i stumbled upon the show where he gave E-rock boxes of quarters to make up for ruining his vacation. In my opinion, it’s the lowest point in his career. NO ONE found it funny and it was prolonged because he thought it would be this great bit. He ruined one of the only enjoyable things I had to listen to at work.

Glowing reviews about this sub from the boys on Cumtown this week. We made it boys.

you guys should try 50-0mcg of LSD. before u get any pseudo hallucinations just a very very slight morphing if at all and a bit of alcohol. it really gets you in a great mood

Does the foreman know you're a convicted felon

I'm not reading all that drivel

I hope you stick around. You're a real breath of fresh air.

Shut the fuck up, faggot.