My wife-unit Jessica, with whom I have a procreation contract, tried to feed me steak once but spit it up. I told her never to do that again, and the last man who tried to feed me yucky food immediately forgot about me forever and went on to found a restaurant empire and become the nation’s most beloved chef.
Oh well. Mother still says I’m the most amazing boy in the world and lets me have sex with her whenever I want.
"Comedian-writer @AlisonLeiby's chicken take has people talking about the beloved dish usually found on kids' menus."
Groundbreaking. It's a shame the patriarchy kept women like this out of comedy all those years. Think of the gold we must have missed.
16 comments
1 Yaseetheo 2018-05-26
Those look damn good but I'm having a steak over those anytime.
1 zoogie778 2018-05-26
That's because you're a solid stand up guy.
1 HappensHappen 2018-05-26
My wife-unit Jessica, with whom I have a procreation contract, tried to feed me steak once but spit it up. I told her never to do that again, and the last man who tried to feed me yucky food immediately forgot about me forever and went on to found a restaurant empire and become the nation’s most beloved chef.
Oh well. Mother still says I’m the most amazing boy in the world and lets me have sex with her whenever I want.
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-05-26
Why not just eat both?
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-26
Maybe he's not as fat as you
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-05-26
I might shop at the "big and tall" store but I assure you it's because I'm tall, and not because I'm big.
1 zoogie778 2018-05-26
Just read the Twitter replies and try not to feel murderous rage toward them.
1 Yaseetheo 2018-05-26
All soyboys and women. Color me shocked.
1 wackadoodle_wigwam 2018-05-26
Give me all the tendies...adulting 101. Lol don’t judge 🤷♀️
1 zoogie778 2018-05-26
I know right? I can't even!
1 china-blast 2018-05-26
"Comedian-writer @AlisonLeiby's chicken take has people talking about the beloved dish usually found on kids' menus." Groundbreaking. It's a shame the patriarchy kept women like this out of comedy all those years. Think of the gold we must have missed.
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-26
Tss, she comedy-wrote all over the yuma
1 Dr-Seepage 2018-05-26
America should rename itself gluttonyville
1 shimshammcgraw 2018-05-26
Tss.
1 IbDotLoyingAwright 2018-05-26
I had some chicken strips while I watched Deadpool 2 last night and god DAMN IT were they good.
1 ryanindayton 2018-05-26
He really is suffering the effects of his terrible lifelong diet. He's prematurely aging for real. I know this.