What's sadder is he probably never had hookers piss in his mouth but lied about it to seem like a twisted edgy comedian with a dark side to be like his heroes. Just like his "I was a 14 year old alcoholic" story, calling himself a recovering addict because he got drunk a few times as a teenager

i fucked a tranny to be like my idol. you’re telling me he made this all up?!

Were you the top or bottom?

Also, yes.

i took my whole bottle of xanax and thought i was dying so i started smoking a lot of meth and that saved my life but now it’s jerk sesh time. so about 8 hours into jerking off i wound up on craigslist, saw big fake titties and a young blonde chick, with a penis. so i drove to the motel she was at the next town over and she sucked my dick and we snorted meth. then i left and she kept calling me so i came back and ended up fucking her for a little until she kicked me out because i was in psychosis and scaring her.

do you think that story is enough for me to finally get sober and not feel like i wasnt that bad and am just another jimmy who got sober young and really isn’t an addict. i have quite a few of these.

Fuck, no. You're doomed by 27.

what do you mean

You can't tolerate life much longer, and your incumbent actions will reflect that.

i don’t make incumbent actions.

Happy Birthday for yesterday, and I hope you tackle your post-teen ennui. Don't give up.

A sober, old queen who wears grandpa orthopedic shoes and sucks cocks. Why wouldn’t an attractive 20 year want to date him. At least he sets his standards pretty low and goes after waitresses.

No he didn't

I got a bridge in brooklyn that im lookin to sell ya.

Soggy Toast.

Happy Birthday for yesterday, and I hope you tackle your post-teen ennui. Don't give up.