Artie is so going to throw Compound Media under the bus at sentencing.
Judge: Mr. Lang, it says here that your employment with Compound Media was “terminated.” I recall that your continued employment was intend to be a mitigating factor in the sentence being handed down today.
Artie’s Jew Lawyer: Your Honor, no one would considered that shit show as “employment.” It was tantamount to “Wayne’s World.” Therefore, I make a motion to classify Mr. Lang’s time with Compound Media as a “hobby,” not “employment.”
Judge: Motion granted. Mr. Lang, would you like to address the court?
Artie: Um, yes, your honor. Can we knock off early?
At this point I think the best thing for Artie would be for him to do some time in prison and be forced into rehab and other self improvement programs while in there.
7 comments
1 Yaseetheo 2018-05-15
I like the "dumped by podcast" part.
1 AntwansBobo 2018-05-15
Podcast , not a show , not a network , not a media company ...a podcast !!!!
Back to obscurity Cumia
1 squish_is_my_dog 2018-05-15
Imagine a black dude trying this...just try. Would've been murdered when they had to wake him up with 81 heroin bundles on his fat lap.
THIS IS AMERICA.
1 NorwayJimmy 2018-05-15
Artie is so going to throw Compound Media under the bus at sentencing.
Judge: Mr. Lang, it says here that your employment with Compound Media was “terminated.” I recall that your continued employment was intend to be a mitigating factor in the sentence being handed down today.
Artie’s Jew Lawyer: Your Honor, no one would considered that shit show as “employment.” It was tantamount to “Wayne’s World.” Therefore, I make a motion to classify Mr. Lang’s time with Compound Media as a “hobby,” not “employment.”
Judge: Motion granted. Mr. Lang, would you like to address the court?
Artie: Um, yes, your honor. Can we knock off early?
Judge: The stands in recess.
1 oandauser 2018-05-15
this made me smile
1 DaveNone 2018-05-15
At this point I think the best thing for Artie would be for him to do some time in prison and be forced into rehab and other self improvement programs while in there.
1 PhilipMarma 2018-05-15
His nose got infected with a bunch of heroin.