Opie Podcast Episode #3 - Play-By-Play Analysis

78  2018-05-14 by NateJay82

Episode #3 - Carl’s Creepy Cabin Part 2 (Carl Ruiz). May 13 2018. Listening to every episode so you don’t have to.

  • After two episodes Opie has managed to screw up the titling, numbering, and release schedule.
  • Carl’s mother doesn’t want his pure Cuban gene pool destroyed by filthy Caucasian genes.
  • Opie tells a story about how he loves Jews. Carl doesn’t want to hear it. Opie tells it anyway.
  • Carl almost admits his sibling inferiority complex but instead brags about his “street smarts”.
  • He disappointed his parents and ended a 5+ year relationship to follow his culinary dreams.
  • “I learned more pumping gas than I did at culinary school in Europe” – MasterChef Carl.
  • Customer disliked Carl’s food so Carl follows him home and challenges him to a 1am cookoff.
  • Opie tells a funny story about his brothers and brags them up instead of whining about them.
  • Cheapskate Carl offered to share a beer with Opie and gets mad when he actually drinks it.
  • The guys talk about guns, bows, and Alpha Male Carl’s desire to stalk his prey when hunting.
  • Completely 100% heterosexual Opie loves San Francisco and showing his feminine side.
  • After getting fired Opie sniffed heroin with a Shaman and emotionally speared his haters.
  • The guys unsubtley namedrop Guy Fieri 34 times throughout the show.
  • Alpha Male Carl is living alone in a cabin because of troubles with his wife and her sons.
  • Opie acknowledges how terrible podcasts sound outside a studio. He doesn’t plan to fix it.

Best Moment: Opie’s gradual transformation into Artie Lange via sniffing heroin and becoming the secondary host of his own podcast.

Worst Moment: Carl spilling his heart about his marital problems and Opie cutting him off to talk about spiders.

Overall: LikeThisPodcastOrCarlWillFollowYouHomeAndChallengeYouToACookoffAt1am/10

52 comments

1  enzo_trash 2018-05-14

Opie did not sniff heroin

1  NateJay82 2018-05-14

Of course not. When asked to elaborate he promises to "tell the story another day" because he is now in over his head and needs to fabricate a full story and/or hope everybody forgets he said it.

1  ilumty 2018-05-14

his family was a church

1  joomommyhappy 2018-05-14

That's a great point, and part of what makes him so creepily non-human; he never anticipates, let alone plans for, reactions/interactions from other people to his bs.

It's as if he doesn't even consider them.

He exists in this dreary, retarded, isolated bubble-void. It's where he concocts his half-assed bs stories, and it's also where he expects them to be listened to.

The man is udderly alone and disconnected. A psychopath, who, thankfully, lacks the brain power and physical courage to do real damage.

1  MonicaKaczynski 2018-05-14

udderly alone

1  Ants_Oily_Hair 2018-05-14

Jesus

1  LarryKleist711 2018-05-14

He simply is not there.

1  ObsessiveMuso 2018-05-14

"I worked for the Mafia, Bobby!"

"...when?"

".. I.. just remembered I can't talk about it! I don't think they'd want me talking about it, I just remembered..."

1  Pompey_ 2018-05-14

I like to think he's just too much of a dullard to think of a convincing story too.

1  AcrobaticWatercress 2018-05-14

He did, but he doesn't remember what it smelled like.

1  Suibu 2018-05-14

I’m pretty sure Opie snorted this stuff called rapé, an amazonian tobacco snuff that ‘shamans’ blow up your nose. I had some hippy chick do that to me once, it’s awful.

1  two_perrcent 2018-05-14

tsss tsss did she do it without ur consent

1  enzo_trash 2018-05-14

if a shaman tried to blow some shit up my nose

i’d kick his ass

1  Ed_Wuncler_Da_3rd 2018-05-14

It said lick his ass before you edited.

1  WiretapStudios 2018-05-14

So a shaman raped you, check out Mr Cool Guy over here.

1  Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-05-14

Shame-an him

1  KangolVos 2018-05-14

I did nasal snuff for a while. Opie probably did the same thing so he could tell people he was "doing H" and sounding like the world's worst undercover cop.

1  Opesterino 2018-05-14

is that a code word for his wife left him after he got fired and is now trying to gain a lil sympy

He aint getting my sympy either.

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-05-14

Did Opie really go on a spiritual journey after being fired?

1  1qw1qw1 2018-05-14

no. everything he says/had said/will say is a lie.

1  jfjfgjgfjdfgjgfjdgfj 2018-05-14

people with borderline also usually carry ptsd. i dont doubt it. some mdma might do him some good.

1  Subeck 2018-05-14

Some cyanide might do him good

1  1qw1qw1 2018-05-14

Carl is infinitely more interesting than Opie

1  _barnacle_ 2018-05-14

So these two fags got kicked out of their homes and decide to live together in the woods?

1  AcrobaticWatercress 2018-05-14

Remember when Opie read his brother's "crazy" MySpace profile on air and it bombed horribly?

1  xX_prowl_Xx 2018-05-14

Anyone got a link to this?

1  AcrobaticWatercress 2018-05-14

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IW4n0HrYsk

1  xX_prowl_Xx 2018-05-14

Legend

1  SamsHairLine 2018-05-14

I have a Shaman in Philly. His name is Flacco and lives near 3rd and Cambria.

1  Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-05-14

Mine lives near Coheed and Cambria.

1  BonesMalone2 2018-05-14

Fawk yea, in the Keywork or sumin!

1  Doc_McCoyXYZ 2018-05-14

Dvv dvv (on Claudio's 7 string)

1  numba13 2018-05-14

When you put it in bullet points it actually sounds like a good podcast. Gonna listen.

1  NateJay82 2018-05-14

That was never my intention. I apologize to anybody who is now tempted to listen.

1  Mexijesus 2018-05-14

Nobody is tempted to listen. I didn't even finish reading what you wrote it's so awful. /u/numba13 must have a brain like Bobo to think it sounds good.

1  UpperclassmanKuno 2018-05-14

Worst Moment: Carl spilling his heart about his marital problems and Opie cutting him off to talk about spiders.

ME: Where we at with the tarantulas? You ever see that movie IraqNoPhobia?

1  glyde69 2018-05-14

Unreal how the spic cook is 500,000,000 times better on the radio telling stories/sense of humor than the guy who has done radio since he was 18.

1  itrits 2018-05-14

Op is not kidding about the “alpha” talk; Carl refers to himself as such several times.

Carl is doing all the heavy lifting, which you would think should garner some sympathy for this atrocious podcast that isn’t even his, but it’s not working; he is really unlikable.

1  CommodorePawsey 2018-05-14

Nothing is more alpha than telling people you’re alpha.

1  Ants_Oily_Hair 2018-05-14

I am enjoyong opies pod cast. I do cringe when carl tries super hard to be a cool dude talkin about all the puss he smashes or whatever lol.

Def better than Nanna and Mustard boy

1  bonniesretardsister 2018-05-14

lol so those kids aren't even Carl's?

1  Reaktif 2018-05-14

Cuck Ruiz

1  TheGhostOfAbeVigoda 2018-05-14

If some fat little spic followed me home and confronted me in front of my house for any reason, nobody would see that fat little spic ever again.

1  TheMidnight_Rider 2018-05-14

Because you'd be so busy having him fuck your ass.

1  Mu_Scevich 2018-05-14

The most telling thing about this podcast so far is Opie has relegated himself to second chair on his own podcast. If you listened to it blind without knowing who these people were you’d think it was Carl’s podcast with some dope interviewing him.

1  TheDannySaint 2018-05-14

“I’m growing in a different direction and she’s just angry.” - Carl blaming everything on others just lie his hero Opie

1  RareDistance 2018-05-14

3 episodes already?

When did this happen?

1  Mu_Scevich 2018-05-14

I believe there was a teaser episode between 1 and 2 where Carl discusses IPA's with some beer sommelier. Opie is not even on it.

1  wackadoodle_wigwam 2018-05-14

What an unfocused asshole.

1  NateJay82 2018-05-14

Because Opie is a massive screw-up who managed to ruin his own titling, numbering, and scheduling system in under a week.

Titling: Episode 1 was called "Into The Woods". Then Episode 3 was called "Carl's Creepy Cabin Part 2". Episode 1 has now been retroactively renamed after three different title changes.

Numbering: Episode 1 is the first part of the Carl interview. Episode 2 is a mini-podcast starring Carl that doesn't even feature Opie. Episode 3 is the second part of the Carl interview.

Scheduling: Opie is scheduled to release a new podcasr every Monday and Wednesday. Instead he released one on Wednesday, one on Friday, one on Sunday, and none on Monday.

1  RareDistance 2018-05-14

all those years in radio really paid off

1  momomike 2018-05-14

Opie is the worst fucking idiot of all time and I’m so happy we get to hate him properly again.

1  xactraiserx 2018-05-14

I have never felt stronger douche shills than during Carl's grandfather story.

This piece of shit implied that his grandpa sent him down the cooking road because he was afraid Carl was going to turn into a badass gangsta on the streets.

FUCK YOU CARL

1  Billyassman 2018-05-14

Thank you for your service,your doing Gods work.

1  Stankysnatch82 2018-05-14

So Carls whore spic mother doesn't want her precious retard deluting the Cuban gene huh.

The fucking arrogance of these immigrants and there racism irritates the shit out of me. Fuck off back to that shithole Cuba you most likely fled from if you hate living among the whites that much.

1  ledge9999 2018-05-14

Opie "emotionally speared his haters"???? Sure he did.

1  therealstinks 2018-05-14

i didnt wanna tell u guys but me and opie have been getting high AF together since he got fired.

1  MonicaKaczynski 2018-05-14

udderly alone

1  LarryKleist711 2018-05-14

He simply is not there.

1  ObsessiveMuso 2018-05-14

"I worked for the Mafia, Bobby!"

"...when?"

".. I.. just remembered I can't talk about it! I don't think they'd want me talking about it, I just remembered..."

1  Mu_Scevich 2018-05-14

I believe there was a teaser episode between 1 and 2 where Carl discusses IPA's with some beer sommelier. Opie is not even on it.

1  NateJay82 2018-05-14

Because Opie is a massive screw-up who managed to ruin his own titling, numbering, and scheduling system in under a week.

Titling: Episode 1 was called "Into The Woods". Then Episode 3 was called "Carl's Creepy Cabin Part 2". Episode 1 has now been retroactively renamed after three different title changes.

Numbering: Episode 1 is the first part of the Carl interview. Episode 2 is a mini-podcast starring Carl that doesn't even feature Opie. Episode 3 is the second part of the Carl interview.

Scheduling: Opie is scheduled to release a new podcasr every Monday and Wednesday. Instead he released one on Wednesday, one on Friday, one on Sunday, and none on Monday.