I almost died from drinking

11  2018-04-24 by blackphilibuster

Now I know how the wild child, maniacal drinker, and all around madman Jin "toast" Morton feels

19 comments

1  blackphilibuster 2018-04-24

I don't know man, it's a tough one..on the one hand I was drinking a 750ml bottle everyday for 5 years, had diarrhea everyday for the past 2 years, and 2 weeks ago shit fountains of blood which ended up being lower gi bleeding and apparently I'm lucky to be alive..on the other hand, I've never prank called the cops and then gotten the spins

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-04-24

Why did you comment on your own post, faggot?

1  blackphilibuster 2018-04-24

Because I'm an alcoholic

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-04-24

So is Anthony.

1  A_Friendly_Creeper 2018-04-24

Lentil soup and Kombuchas for you

1  Lady_Dis_Liver 2018-04-24

750mL of what?

1  Jungies 2018-04-24

If it was Norton, it would be urine.

1  sevenonone 2018-04-24

Is 750ml what we used to call a fifth?

1  FatassTitePants 2018-04-24

Indeed

1  blackphilibuster 2018-04-24

Shitty bottom shelf vodka. Usually Barton for 6 bucks a bottle, but depending on the liquor store, I'll sometimes mix it up and get Popov, Potter's, or Taaka.

1  kangableezy 2018-04-24

750 ml taaka a day here for me. It's a terrible way of life :-)

1  enzo_trash 2018-04-24

did you you also have a constant scratchy throat, runny nose, and random flashes of regret/paranoia

1  JeremyACrosby 2018-04-24

better luck next time

1  oandauser 2018-04-24

I love how he thinks he was an alcoholic because he made prank phone calls and got the spins. I really get a kick out of his constant reference to “the spins” cause any real drinker knows that’s the real early stages of drinking. Real drinkers don’t get the spins. They rarely vomit. And rarely get hungover. And those are the first questions he asks someone who says they drink a lot.

1  throwawaymanthrows 2018-04-24

I still get hangovers and according to my doctor I'm an "heavy drinker."

1  LaurenDoingChin-Ups 2018-04-24

Watch telling your doctor how much you drink. I read that they can get your drivers license suspended if they think you are driving drunk. Don't know if it's true or not.

1  throwawaymanthrows 2018-04-24

Oh fuck that right in the ear.

1  enzo_trash 2018-04-24

i hear the blood they take at the plasma center gets sent straight to Israel to keep jews alive longer

1  TravisBickle1990 2018-04-24

Hangovers just become the way you always feel, like shit.

1  David_Tosk 2018-04-24

Children who drink vomit. It's rare for adults to do it

1  DaveNone 2018-04-24

Almost? Figures someone from this sub can't finish what they start.

1  A_Friendly_Creeper 2018-04-24

My girlfriend in Pomona has hole in her vagina wall

1  A_Friendly_Creeper 2018-04-24

Lentil soup and Kombuchas for you

1  David_Tosk 2018-04-24

What happens then? You just stop drinking right?

1  blackphilibuster 2018-04-24

Yeah I was told by two different doctors 2 days in a row that if I don't completely stop drinking, I'll be dead in 6 months..it's been 2 weeks without a drink so far and I've never hated Jimmy as much as I do right now

1  David_Tosk 2018-04-24

You've more than likely taken decades off your life anyway, but don't fucking drink. It's not even that good. I don't get alcoholics at all

1  detroitjerkoff 2018-04-24

if at first you don't suck seed....

1  Kim_Jung_pUn 2018-04-24

So is Anthony.

1  blackphilibuster 2018-04-24

Yeah I was told by two different doctors 2 days in a row that if I don't completely stop drinking, I'll be dead in 6 months..it's been 2 weeks without a drink so far and I've never hated Jimmy as much as I do right now