Mine is "We played hide and go seek in the dark in my theater" when referring to his girl friend

"Girl friend"

I believe the correct spelling is "nephew"

Mine is: "Guilty your honor"

"I married my brother's ex."

“...to throw scent off the gay trail”

"My brother threw out his garbage and I went pickin' for a bride!"

Mine is "I'd go as low as 13."

"Really?" "You're saying you've never seen a banagble 13 yr old" "No"

I liked when he talked about raping "women" in his dreams. They were probably 8 y.o. girls.

Mine is "I'm still funny"

Mine is the nervous racking of a self awareness shotgun.

I think i have to go with 'Hahah Holy shit'

Whatever lines he uses to shill fucking deep discount dvds

Mine is "I'm a white guy"

That's definitely in my top 5 as well

Whatever that dummy said as he was bombing at the big Jay roast is my favorite

"1 follower?!?! Go back to your little hate forum, back to obscurity with you... 1 follower!!! 😂😂😂"

Link please to the video montage of his descent into "where's my gun" madness

Jesus Christ. Bud Light cans absolutely everywhere.

"on my boob too, but you won't be so lucky to see that"..... no one wants to see your awful boy boob you annoying waif

Who could forget that lightning-fast zinger: "Savage violent animal fucks prey on white people. Easy targets. This CUNT has no clue how lucky she was."

You know he got his hopes up and clicked this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AJXD6B0fcg

"on my boob too, but you won't be so lucky to see that"..... no one wants to see your awful boy boob you annoying waif

"Tell them to behave!" is so wonderfully ironic.

I quote him all the time. Here are some common ones

Fffffaghet! Aaaalll-Right! I like doing my version of his version of dice, OUH!

My favorite line might be "quay off by and queeb" from the party bus dilemma.

" I reddit somewhere."

my favorite Tranth line was when they discussed Bobby Kelly doing standup as a severe burn victim, and impersonating Bob he said "how are the mozerella sticks tonight? -that reminds me, my fingers were burnt off.."

I liked it when he said, and I quote:

"I'm a stupid pock-faced faggot who gets fucked by trannies and has a failing, piece of shit network and I bite women and get beaten up by them sometimes and I try and fuck little girls and I'm scared of black people because I'm an ugly little wetbrained moron and I suck and I should just fucking kill myself."

Link?

I liked when a guy called in complaining about how he works 12 hour days and the rich should give the poor more money and ant just shouts at the top of his lungs

"WHO GIVES A FUCK!"

I believe the next line was "I got mine!"

"I haven't seen my mom in 5 years"

“Danny, I love you”

Was that egg thing a vibrator?

"Nooo...."

"...and I would wear Mommy's shoes."

"They aren't people"

Andrew Dice Gay

I like the time he tried to convince everyone he was photographing scaffolding.

"I'm still funny....."

"I love a nice fat cock!"

“Leave it alone.” A personal favorite

Nopie: Leave it alone.

Anthony: throws down headphones leave it the fuck alone.

"They can never find out about us, Sue"

That sub has no effect on any of our Lives whatsoever

''She said she was eighteen!''