I would like it if his dog ate his corpse.

Sam has always been a profoundly stupid person. Besides the obvious shit like being into wrestling and choosing a career in radio, there's been plenty of signs over the years. The first time I realized Sam is a borderline retard was when Anthony asked him to google the population of Manhattan and Sam answered completely dead serious, '53,000'. Turns out he accidentally looked up Manhattan, Kansas. Even so, you'd think he'd at least be smart enough to realize that his number is way too low.

I really, really want to hear this.

I don't have enough info about the particular episode to find it, maybe one of the other autistic people on this sub will.

I HATE Sam’s head canon. It’s not enough to let something be funny by itself. He has to create a fictional world around the funny thing to try and squeeze every bit of attention possible.

“But WAIT. You know the homeless guy who shit in the ash tray had a smoking problem when he was younger. Like, ‘fuck you kool cigarettes! You shit in my lungs, now I shit on you!’”

I drives me absolutely crazy.

You should be bashed in the face with a heavy encyclopedia for using the term head-cannon.

Nothing will ever top "Mars is a hot planet because it's red" for me.

Come on... He wasn't serious when he said that was he?

Yes. It was during a discussion of a recently discovered exoplanet, to which Sam said "Well now they can work on faster than light travel since we have a place to go now." Despite the fact that we've been discovering exoplanets several times a year for over 25 years, and that has nothing to do with "working on" faster travel.

God you’re and autistic retard. No he wasn’t serious you mush-brain retard.

Easy there, Sam

To be fair, the planet Mars itself is hot, it's only the atmosphere that's cold. I may be lying.

Anyone who is noticeably bad at Google, like the guys pointed out, has to have a learning disability.

His mother wrote his essays and papers for him, and when he was in danger of failing a class, she would sell her mouth, asshole, and retard making cunt to Sam’s teacher to bump that F up to a C.

I apologize for the angry language; I just really hate Sam and his mother.

It's actually impressive how stupid he is. Most people as ugly as him attempt to compensate for it by educating themselves, or developing a sense of humor or a useful skill - but not Sam.

Mommy never told this dunce to develop something worthwhile and his father is insane. Mommy told him the sun and the moon and stars rise and set on his mangled prick.

What’s your evidence that Sam’s father is insane? Just because he has a handlebar mustache in TYOOL 2018? Just because he eats raw potatoes like a fucking lunatic?

It's probably enjoying buttermilk.

Code for Jizz

Because he didn’t kick that bitch in the stomach on month 3

there is a surprising swath of the country that is just like sam

If your mom was sucking your micropenis every night, you'd think you were the shit too

I don’t know how he’s wrong about flight attendants and dogs. How can you have a dog if you are gone for several days during the week? I had dogs with my ex gf and she worked out of town 2-4 days a week. When we broke up I got the dogs because it just wasn’t possible for her to take them.

Well ya, it’s possible with help. But without that, it’s not possible or practical. You could also board the dog while away. But that’s not ideal and not good for the dog.

So, I’d say a flight attendant by them self can’t or shouldn’t have a dog. But yes, if they have other people living with them they could but that sort of changes the entire argument.

Oh, I forgot what sub I was in. You gotta remember, normal people have families.

There ya go. Don't try to apply normal logic in this sub, it's for raging impotently at the radio and nothing else.

people are selfish pricks - i have known shitty people who were shitty dog owners and would leave their dogs alone for extended periods of time

I have a large fenced in yard with two dog doors. When i go on vacation i have my neighbor come by twice a day to feed them. They are indoor bulldogs and like to just lay around and sleep. They are much better off in the house than me boarding them as the kennels are a bad, loud environment. With the dog door, the can come in and it whenever they want and often sun bathe outside. So i don’t see anything wrong with this arrangement the few weeks out of the year i go somewhere.

I don't see a problem with that - it's up to the dog and the situation. I'm a dog owner - I leave my dogs overnight but not more than that but mostly cause we dont have someone to come over. I wouldn't board my dogs and I had a friend who's dog died while boarded.

The person I was thinking of adopted an active Jack Russel terrier and we'd hear him doing laps while she was out every weekend.

The other thing that irks me is when I see people with large breed dogs in small apartments - dogs like that need space and activity - not to be couped up in your 8'x10' studio

I fucking hate that too. Some large dog knocking shit over left and right with it’s tail because there’s no room for him

People really don't want to commit to having a dog and half-ass it.

I once noticed whimpering from the garage-complex near where I walk to work. It turned out that someone had left their dog in the garage chained up, with a troth of food and a children's inflatable pool full of water while they went on a 2 week vacation trip to some tropical island.

The dog had puked and shit everywhere and was clearly psychologically damaged.

The animal police took the dog away and someone adopted it after hearing about it on the local news.

Animal neglect is fucking horrible, and of course the couple who owned the dog where raising hell to try and get it back claiming they didn't do nuffin.

What was the race of the owners? Sounds like a certain type of person would be stupid and cruel like that.

Whites. I live in a country where 90% of the population is white.

The stupid fuck once asked "what's in saltwater that makes it so bad for you to drink?"

I don’t remember hearing him say the first thing.

The second thing was 100% said in jest.

The third thing...he’s right. If you own a pet grooming business and pets shitting upsets you, maybe consider another line of work.

Nice work, literal idiot.

That's what you get for putting two man-child's yapping 4 hours a day.

He gets his fur groomed by the same groomer and he's had a few accidents in the corner too. It's no big deal.

His co-host Jim Norton thought that gravity was caused by the spinning of the planet.

Two geniuses.

No fucking way Jim said this.

He sure as heck did. It was during one of their Michio Kaku interviews.

You know, for a faggot that hates Sam so much you sure can't stop listening or ranting about him. Turn to Stern, shit.

I had this problem too - when O&A or whoever wasnt being funny - i simply dont know why I was listening to them.

Ant ranting about Trevon, jesus why did I ever do that

He also thinks it's ok for his dog to bark non stop and annoy his neighbors. He says that's what dogs do. No dogs do not just bark constantly and shit inside. He has the worst trained pooch ever. I'm sure his excuse is " why do I need to train my dog ? It's a dog" fuck sam.

Nice to hear he takes his wife to the hairdresser though

He’s a fucking bimbo. Minus EVERYTHING that’s attractive about a bimbo.

He didn't say the overhead has different cabin pressure. He said the dog's ears would be popping from the pressure, which is true no matter what part of the plane you're in.