I say this all the time, but Bob Kelly's most memorable bit is Norton imitating his speech patterns to make fun of him. Bobby named his podcast after this.
He's always been about gimmicks and fad diets over hard work. If you want to loose weight you've got to work out like a motherfucker and I doubt hes run 10 yards in the past 10 years.
Yeah seriously, literally the only thing you have to do is eat less than you do now. Your stomach shrinks, power through the first few weeks of fatty hunger pain and then you never want 5 pounds of food in a sitting anymore and the weight comes off.
I'm skinny, but there are definitely a couple times a week where I'll really throw down. I feel like shit after a couple days then take it easy for a couple. It feels like a hangover now that I quit drinking...it seems tiring.
I guess but for a guy like Bobby working out might also be needed to get that metabolism going. Plus if you can man up and do some cardio then you can also eat foods you enjoy and not torture yourself.
He thought eating raw twice a month would stop his diabetes from killing him. And nobody told him how absurd that was. A fifteen-minute consultation with a nutritionist or personal trainer could have saved his life.
Meh, I'm also doing keto and I'm down 40 pounds in 3 months while doing very little exercise. I can almost guarantee Bobby is just cheating on his diet on a daily basis.
You're going to want to start strength training though, unless you want to lose lean mass with the fat and look horrible at the end. Lifting heavy 2-3 days a week will help preserve your muscle and strength while the fat comes off and you'll actually lose faster than if you didn't train.
I know. But I just got done playing college football and now that I no longer have to work out I can't force myself to do it. It feels so good to finally be done with it.
Then your genetics are playing a large factor in you being able to cut without strength training. For the majority of people born without round ab muscles and other advantages endomorphs enjoy, strength training is a must. I was a decent high school basketball player, but if I just reduce calories and do no exercise I'm a potbelly and bitch tits with four chopsticks poking out.
Lol, that could be but you still had the natural musculature that gave you the strength to play. Some guys a born with little to no musculature and all they can ever be without strength training is varying degrees of skinny fat. Asian and Jewish kids that are shaped like question marks for example
Not giving you shit, you're blessed. Enjoy it and keep eating clean.
Yea, I can't blame you, sounds awful. If I were you I'd just stick to the basic compound barbell lifts a couple times a week and forget intense conditioning work like that. You don't need sport specific training anymore, you just need a good strength base.
Yeah I was talking to my buddy about it earlier. He told me I'm not an athlete anymore, I don't have to see the gym as a place to go all out, stay uptempo and superset everything. I can just go in, do the workouts I feel like doing and be out in 30-45 minutes. I'm gonna go tonight and get some triceps and bench in. I want to get my max back in the 300s at some point but it's probably down to 255 at this point. I haven't benched in months and it's one of the only lifts I really enjoy doing.
I do 5 main lifts these days with some accessory work thrown in and it's just so much more manageable now that I'm older. I do squats, DL's, and OHP one day and squats, rows, and bench on the other. It sounds like a basic strength or power lifting template would be perfect for you. No bullshit, just heavy weights with enough time to recover between sets and workouts.
The problem is I had hip surgery from in high school because I was born with hip dysplasia and really struggle with squats and DLs. My joints have calcified and I was supposed to have arthritis at 21 so I've narrowly avoided that I guess. But even during football I mainly stuck to upper body workouts. Leg press surprisingly not an issue. I was able to rep 1000 for leg press but I can't do more than 225 for squat without my hips crapping out and even then I'll be limping for the rest of the day. So I'll probably stick to bench, leg press, triceps and biceps.
Ah, that sucks. Word of advice though, don't neglect your back. If all you do is bench and work your arms you're going to develop a horrible muscle imbalance and just add to your structural issues. You risk really fucking your shoulders up if you never pull and only push.
This from 2011? I've been listening to his up and down bullshit for years...well, not really years, tapped on his pod years ago due to it being filled with 8 mics at a time now.
Yep. Fuck him. I think he likes to imagine an outpouring of grief from people if he died, like Patrice got. I can't fathom any other reason this piece of shit would continue to eat the way he does, after seeing Patrice and then Ralphie eat themselves to death, and especially when he's just started a family.
It infuriates me that he could see close friends die preventable deaths, then have a kid and be so wreckless with his health. It's like any junkie scumbag who puts their selfish desires before the well-being of their kid. This tub of shit is going to croak and cause all kinds of trauma to a young kid who should have had a dad, but no, burgers are more important.
Ant can binge drink and tweet all the racist stuff he wants, the only young boys hearts he's gonna break are mental patients with fake tits. Fat Bob Kelly has a family, the fat fucking dope. I hate him.
Safehorizon offers support, anger management counseling, and resources to victims of anger and domestic violence and to those who need assistance controlling their anger. 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
Sir I'm posting about D list hasbeens on a message board dedicated to a radio show that's been cancelled for years. I appreciate the gesture but kindness has no place here.
Quite often these days, the hardest I get to laugh on any given day is from something in this sub. I feel like that says something negative about my humanity.
86 comments
1 J-Bradley1 2018-02-26
Duuuude, we have such sights to show you duuuude
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-02-26
Duuuuude, you got your eternal pain and you got your chains, then you fwip it.
1 J-Bradley1 2018-02-26
Those poor chains would have a pretty hard time ripping him apart.
After awhile, I imagine they'd say, "Fuck it" and retract back into the box.
1 crookedmile 2018-02-26
Duuuuude, you solved the box, now you must come with us and taste our pleasures duuuuude
1 J-Bradley1 2018-02-26
As long as tasting something is involved, Bob's in
"CenoBITE? What is that, a tiny cereal or sumthin'?"
1 MrPoopyButtwholes 2018-02-26
Duuuuude, you gotta FWIP the box duuuude.
1 LichVos 2018-02-26
dude, I will tear you buffet apart dude
1 breadmoccasin 2018-02-26
I say this all the time, but Bob Kelly's most memorable bit is Norton imitating his speech patterns to make fun of him. Bobby named his podcast after this.
1 J-Bradley1 2018-02-26
It's a testament to Jim's comedic abilities.
We need to out out an Amber Alert for them though. They've been missing for awhile now.
1 GrossFinger 2018-02-26
False. He also has his "Not you" Seinfeld bit.
1 breadmoccasin 2018-02-26
I forgot about that one. He also has the HILARIOUS "Titty Mountain Highway".
1 BongLifts5X5 2018-02-26
Bobby thinks Cenobites is a breakfast cereal.
1 bal0rd 2018-02-26
I BROKE MY FLESH MAN. AAAUUUH AAAUUH FUCK. HOLD MY KNIFE MAN.
1 The_Sharpie_Is_Black 2018-02-26
You know what duuuuude. Don't cry, its a waste of good suffering duuude
1 J-Bradley1 2018-02-26
Only (slightly) on topic, has anyone seen the trailer for HELLRAISER: Judgement?
https://youtu.be/kxvrmWijW2A
A lot of the sequels have been crap, but this actually looks alright
(No chance of Opie watching it though, he's a father now)
1 opestersmammarydrip 2018-02-26
Ol' Butterball Bawb
1 TheWelfareMan 2018-02-26
Dead by 2020
1 iceberg_sweats 2018-02-26
Stanhope's celebrity death pool has a lot of promise
1 Anthonysnewcohost 2018-02-26
Blob jelly
1 NEETdreams 2018-02-26
The resemblance is uncanny.
1 thedude831 2018-02-26
No fruits, no carbs is working out greattttt
1 StufromAus 2018-02-26
He's always been about gimmicks and fad diets over hard work. If you want to loose weight you've got to work out like a motherfucker and I doubt hes run 10 yards in the past 10 years.
1 Thesincityattorney 2018-02-26
Or just maintain a balanced, healthy diet over the long term and not binge and purge like a big fat dumb animal.
1 ObsessiveMuso 2018-02-26
Yeah seriously, literally the only thing you have to do is eat less than you do now. Your stomach shrinks, power through the first few weeks of fatty hunger pain and then you never want 5 pounds of food in a sitting anymore and the weight comes off.
1 Bouquet_of_seaweed 2018-02-26
It's really not that hard. You don't need to eat as much as you do now to feel full. If anything, you won't feel like shit from being overstuffed.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-02-26
Most of this sub is overweight because of their mass alcohol consumption.
Switch to Kratom folks.
1 Thesincityattorney 2018-02-26
I also eat too much when high. I'm not Bob Kelly fat, more like approaching fat Jim Norton if I am not careful.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-02-26
There's always speed.
1 CertifiedBA 2018-02-26
I'm skinny, but there are definitely a couple times a week where I'll really throw down. I feel like shit after a couple days then take it easy for a couple. It feels like a hangover now that I quit drinking...it seems tiring.
1 Bronan_the_Brobarian 2018-02-26
Just be hungry.
1 StufromAus 2018-02-26
I guess but for a guy like Bobby working out might also be needed to get that metabolism going. Plus if you can man up and do some cardio then you can also eat foods you enjoy and not torture yourself.
1 wifflebb 2018-02-26
No Bobby literally just has to eat less food and he will lose weight.
1 MalcolmX_InTheMiddle 2018-02-26
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
I don't know who originally said it, but they are completely correct.
1 nomorecompromise 2018-02-26
Norton said it and it's the gayest thing I've ever heard.
1 anitathequeef 2018-02-26
Kate Moss or some supermodel said it originally. Jim must have been trying to bolster his cred with the Bravo Channel crowd.
1 Jungies 2018-02-26
Patrice was big on fad diets - how'd that work out?
1 dackots 2018-02-26
He thought eating raw twice a month would stop his diabetes from killing him. And nobody told him how absurd that was. A fifteen-minute consultation with a nutritionist or personal trainer could have saved his life.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
Meh, I'm also doing keto and I'm down 40 pounds in 3 months while doing very little exercise. I can almost guarantee Bobby is just cheating on his diet on a daily basis.
1 Pr0gNuT 2018-02-26
You're going to want to start strength training though, unless you want to lose lean mass with the fat and look horrible at the end. Lifting heavy 2-3 days a week will help preserve your muscle and strength while the fat comes off and you'll actually lose faster than if you didn't train.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
I know. But I just got done playing college football and now that I no longer have to work out I can't force myself to do it. It feels so good to finally be done with it.
1 ClownPoopExpress 2018-02-26
Then your genetics are playing a large factor in you being able to cut without strength training. For the majority of people born without round ab muscles and other advantages endomorphs enjoy, strength training is a must. I was a decent high school basketball player, but if I just reduce calories and do no exercise I'm a potbelly and bitch tits with four chopsticks poking out.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
Nah, I was a fat piece of shit even while playing and my family is pretty fat in general.
1 ClownPoopExpress 2018-02-26
Lol, that could be but you still had the natural musculature that gave you the strength to play. Some guys a born with little to no musculature and all they can ever be without strength training is varying degrees of skinny fat. Asian and Jewish kids that are shaped like question marks for example
Not giving you shit, you're blessed. Enjoy it and keep eating clean.
1 Pr0gNuT 2018-02-26
Fair point, that training is intense.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
30 minute runs in the middle of two a days in the summer heat. I'm so fuckin glad I'm done with that shit.
1 Pr0gNuT 2018-02-26
Yea, I can't blame you, sounds awful. If I were you I'd just stick to the basic compound barbell lifts a couple times a week and forget intense conditioning work like that. You don't need sport specific training anymore, you just need a good strength base.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
Yeah I was talking to my buddy about it earlier. He told me I'm not an athlete anymore, I don't have to see the gym as a place to go all out, stay uptempo and superset everything. I can just go in, do the workouts I feel like doing and be out in 30-45 minutes. I'm gonna go tonight and get some triceps and bench in. I want to get my max back in the 300s at some point but it's probably down to 255 at this point. I haven't benched in months and it's one of the only lifts I really enjoy doing.
1 Pr0gNuT 2018-02-26
I do 5 main lifts these days with some accessory work thrown in and it's just so much more manageable now that I'm older. I do squats, DL's, and OHP one day and squats, rows, and bench on the other. It sounds like a basic strength or power lifting template would be perfect for you. No bullshit, just heavy weights with enough time to recover between sets and workouts.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
The problem is I had hip surgery from in high school because I was born with hip dysplasia and really struggle with squats and DLs. My joints have calcified and I was supposed to have arthritis at 21 so I've narrowly avoided that I guess. But even during football I mainly stuck to upper body workouts. Leg press surprisingly not an issue. I was able to rep 1000 for leg press but I can't do more than 225 for squat without my hips crapping out and even then I'll be limping for the rest of the day. So I'll probably stick to bench, leg press, triceps and biceps.
1 Pr0gNuT 2018-02-26
Ah, that sucks. Word of advice though, don't neglect your back. If all you do is bench and work your arms you're going to develop a horrible muscle imbalance and just add to your structural issues. You risk really fucking your shoulders up if you never pull and only push.
1 Guac_Bowl_Cuck 2018-02-26
Duely noted. I'll make sure I get back in too.
1 d4n4n 2018-02-26
That's a super hard way to lose weight (albeit probably a healthy one, if you don't hurt yourself in the process). You could just eat less instead.
1 CertifiedBA 2018-02-26
This from 2011? I've been listening to his up and down bullshit for years...well, not really years, tapped on his pod years ago due to it being filled with 8 mics at a time now.
1 LamarThePotato 2018-02-26
Someone must send this to him, mainly because he will be upset.
1 JMueller2012 2018-02-26
Buca di Beppo
1 jewboy409 2018-02-26
Still looks better than aids Norton
1 danTHEdick 2018-02-26
Rapidly approaching Sea World status.
1 Hola-amigos 2018-02-26
Duuuuude, Listen, Listen, Listen, Listen
1 Teds-Hentai-Emporium 2018-02-26
Welcome to the dessert of the real.
1 deep_legal_shit 2018-02-26
"hold my hand"
1 David_Tosk 2018-02-26
He must look horrific naked
1 retromingent_cunt 2018-02-26
Bob is a swollen, diseased fatbody living in denial. Is his wife just feeding him to death? This is a slow suicide by processed junk food
1 Snake_____86 2018-02-26
It won't be long now.
https://imgur.com/a/uI2La
1 retromingent_cunt 2018-02-26
Dude, where's my lipitor? I can feel the cholesterol in my swollen face
1 little-pete-ferguson 2018-02-26
Bob Dot Com
1 pomegranate2012 2018-02-26
You've taken a photo, then put a blue filter on the same photo.
1 TriangleDimes 2018-02-26
YA KNOW WHAT DEEEEEEUD YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE LEGENDARY EVEN IN HELL, STUPID
1 RapistWithAIDS 2018-02-26
I have no sympathy for this self pitying fat fuck
He is obese, pushing 50 with a young son, and still posts pictures from restaurants of his clean desert plate saying how great it was
Then whines about how "addiction is hard"
Comedians and fat people tend to be psychologically weak and pathetic, but Robert Kelly combines both
1 robocopsboner 2018-02-26
Yep. Fuck him. I think he likes to imagine an outpouring of grief from people if he died, like Patrice got. I can't fathom any other reason this piece of shit would continue to eat the way he does, after seeing Patrice and then Ralphie eat themselves to death, and especially when he's just started a family.
What a fat asshole.
1 helloBuddeh 2018-02-26
How are you this mad about someone you don't know lol
0 robocopsboner 2018-02-26
It infuriates me that he could see close friends die preventable deaths, then have a kid and be so wreckless with his health. It's like any junkie scumbag who puts their selfish desires before the well-being of their kid. This tub of shit is going to croak and cause all kinds of trauma to a young kid who should have had a dad, but no, burgers are more important.
Ant can binge drink and tweet all the racist stuff he wants, the only young boys hearts he's gonna break are mental patients with fake tits. Fat Bob Kelly has a family, the fat fucking dope. I hate him.
1 helloBuddeh 2018-02-26
Safehorizon offers support, anger management counseling, and resources to victims of anger and domestic violence and to those who need assistance controlling their anger. 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)
0 robocopsboner 2018-02-26
Sir I'm posting about D list hasbeens on a message board dedicated to a radio show that's been cancelled for years. I appreciate the gesture but kindness has no place here.
1 helloBuddeh 2018-02-26
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday
1 robocopsboner 2018-02-26
Oh I get it now, the joke is much funnier the second time, after it bombed initially. Good one!
1 helloBuddeh 2018-02-26
No jokes. Help is out there for you
1 DooshLord 2018-02-26
You know what dude? You gotcha chains, you gotcha hooks, you gotcha box. BOOM, fuckin' 9 shitty sequels, dude.
1 Jackthejew 2018-02-26
https://www.reddit.com/r/opieandanthony/comments/79xe2r/duuuuude_you_got_your_puzzle_box_your_hedonism/?st=JE4FZYP1&sh=667ba107
1 TheBlueAwning 2018-02-26
Bobby thinks Cenobites is a breakfast cereal.
1 ogchrissyp 2018-02-26
Phawkk!! Line of the day! (Tits wouldn’t get the reference tho)
1 TheBlueAwning 2018-02-26
Dude, ya got your Lament configuration, boom.
1 ogchrissyp 2018-02-26
I broke my puzzle box man
1 TheBlueAwning 2018-02-26
A puzzle box for Bobby would be one of those dog toys you can put food in.
1 CertifiedBA 2018-02-26
'Whaaaaaaat? I haven't seen the phawkinnn mooovie yett!'
1 wyMn_R_FNy 2018-02-26
That's what Bobby sees after a meal. He SeeNoBites
1 TheBlueAwning 2018-02-26
....ugh......
1 bal0rd 2018-02-26
I BROKE MY FLESH MAN. AAAUUUH AAAUUH FUCK. HOLD MY KNIFE MAN.
1 dopaminenotyours 2018-02-26
Quite often these days, the hardest I get to laugh on any given day is from something in this sub. I feel like that says something negative about my humanity.
1 arrogantsquirrel 2018-02-26
I think it says more about how fat Bobby has become.