What a cunt she is.

All women are fucking cunts.

Including my mother and the Virgin Mary

Schumes strikes me as the type that sees her Last Comic Standing/Cellar days as some sort of previous chapter that doesn't need dwelling on, and her Hollywood days as the "real story".

Pay homage to Colin by giving him a part in Trainwreck, but then go hang out with Jennifer Lawrence and Jake Gyllenhaal and pay absolutely no care to what Vos, Jimmy, or Keith are doing.

To be fair, fuck Jimmy.

I was just about to say fuck Jimmy, too. Jimmy would do the exact same thing to “his friends” with ‘Hollywood fame.’ We don’t even need to speculate on Vos as he’d never make holohoax fame anyway. Jimmy has proven numerous times how full of shit he is and how obsessed with fame he is so it’s not a stretch to assume as much.

Little Kev left everyone behind and never looked baxk

Amazing roast, his whole set was insane

They never saw him coming and he put in a spectacular performance

She had many of those guys on Inside Amy Schumer though. You can't have any of them in movies because they're horrible actors. Only Colin is half decent.

And Bawby.

Bobby is okay but not great. Trainwreck was a pretty big movie, I understand why she wouldn't want Bobby in it.

You don't think Richard "Lenny, Bruce, I want my money!" Vos is an accomplished thespian?

Colin was really good playing himself and his Twitter persona in that new Adam Sandler movie.

True, but he has heart AIDS now

And dropping Vos is understandable. But Col...

Maybe not getting the invite caused his heart attack. That bitch almost took down CQ!

HANG ON HANG ON HANG ON. You mean the little worm who wants pictures with every celebrity would shun his friends to hang out with Hollywood "elites?" No way. That little Jim Norton is the paragon of integrity.

Bobby’s half second, whole screen cameo.

They originally shot his scene in imax

Nice fat-joke, stupid!

I'd like to blame her, but I can't.

I'll just hate her for many other reasons.

I broke da screen dude!

car crash

You sound like a girl that wants all the actors on her favorite show to be best buds in real life.

Did any of them ever talk about hanging out with Amy outside of a comedy club once? They are independent contractors that work in the same limited spaces and they shoot the shit before and after. If you got a better jib would you bring all your tolerable co-workers along with you?

What a fucking phony Hollywood whore, David spade and Larry probably looking at each other like "what the fuck are we doing here" while JLaw is counting down the hours she has to pretend to be this fat oinkers friend.

Aniston? Why would these people say yes to this shit

Chuck probably told them that attending this hog roast would get them out of any NY warrants up to an ag assault

This has to be it

Why is Jake Gyllenhall there?

Strictly for research purposes to prepare for his next role as a swine farmer.

I hope he's playing Robert Pickton.

She wanted an in? I have no fucking clue it's so bizarre. Probably shameless personal invites and they had to go

I mean genuinely, im sure there is a phony celebrity network m, that sends out invites via publicists of "events to be seen at" whereby everyone gets to pretend they are such intertwined Hollywood movers and shakers, get some free publicity, and free booze and food, which are in turn sponsoring the event to get their wine and catering brands free press.

The whole thing is phony, like fatamy.

Yeah but Larry David and spade? Like they would give a fuck. Chuck must be handing out tax breaks at the door

Im sure the promise of free drinks on a tuesday, plus free networking with Jennifer Lawrence and others would appeal if you had nothing else on.

Apparently he introduced them to each other.

Jennifer Lawrence stinks and noone likes her

I like the way she stinks

Why? She has no acting talent she looks average for a non-moviestar and now she has even given up the whole american sweathearth thing she had going before and has turned into a cunt.

You guys got it all wrong, her character was friends with those people. Amy is friends with the elite.

She's really just their renewable source of pig blood for satanic rituals.

That jew bitch didn't even invite Patrice.

Probably did it because he is black... racist cunt

I have news for you. You may want to sit for this... he was 14.

He looked older then that on the radio, probably had a hard life that aged him prematurely.

Defiling Brazilian prostitutes with glass dildos takes its toll on a man.

So does all that food

Here comes the bride... slovenly dressed and wide...

SHOEHORN MORE SYLLABLES, COCKSUCKAAAA!!!!!!

Do we know for sure none of our guys attended? I'd be shocked if the entire "Cellar Table" crowd didn't make the guest list. We can definitely say for certain that Anthony wasn't invited.

Kurt wasn't invited....

The wrote her vows.

Put in a little joke which she took out

As a lawn jockey

Or a jam boy

That's a direct motherfuck to Jim.

Good.... it’s needs to be impressed in that little worm that the only thing he is good for was being funny on the radio 10 years ago.

Wtf is larry david do8ng there.

I thought he was a real ass dude. Guess not.

It'll make sense when you seen a new episode Curb Your Enthusiasm about Larry going to a wedding where the piggy bride eats all the food

Never trust a jew. Any jew.

He’s a Hollywood Jew millionaire.....

lol it true

Of course she motherfucked her friends who helped her get where she is.

Even guys like Nick Mullen 100% defend this joke stealing pig because they really believe in the back of their heads she can still help them. This is the only reason any comic doesn’t smash her.

when did mullen/cumtown defend her?

When he was on Gavin’s show. I’ll link it later

I'm sure you will

That was a long time ago tho, I'm sure he wouldn't defend her still

It was in 1967

Where's the clip dickhead

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mmjD-WGalVw

6 minutes in, faggot

Thanks buddy

The only comic I can remember calling her out was Daniel Tosh but hopefully once she’s as done as a succulent piece of ham, everyone will finally trash her like she deserves.

Just saw pics from the wedding and Keith was there. It was a Tuesday, so I bet Jimmy wouldn’t go even if he were invited.

One had a heart attack, one had a stroke, one is mentally disabled, and one dries up outside of topsoil. Do you really think these half dead misfits want to waste precious moments in a barn watching a pig oink through vows

She has all 4 of those traits

David Spade is the funniest inclusion on this list

Honestly, cutting Jim out of Trainwreck was probably the most generous thing Schumer has done.

Is this what gave Colin his heart attack?

This combined with his frail camel body

ant will unfollow her from twitter after this

.. if he had a spine.

Someone check if there is food left in Malibu after Amy.

(((@AmySchumer))) got married in a secret Malibu wedding! (((Larry David))), (((Jennifer Lawrence))), David Spade, Jennifer Aniston and (((Jake Gyllenhaal))) attended the comedian's nuptials.

Larry David attended this pig cunts wedding? I just lost a little respect for him.

To be fair, can you imagine Jim Norton at that wedding. Just going around asking for pictures with people and not eating the cake?

"RUM CAKE!? You buncha monsters, you know I'm a recovering addict!"

Do you think Larry David wanted to go?

Kurt wasn't invited....

They never saw him coming and he put in a spectacular performance

Or a jam boy