Why does every Netflix movie get slaughtered online? Is it because they’re afraid they’re going to change the industry and stop conventional ticket sales? Everyone I’ve seen has been pretty good but reviews would have you believe they are unwatchable failures made by amateurs.

16  2018-02-05 by LemonJuiceCake

39 comments

you have a fair point; i remember Beasts Of No Nation wasn't bad. but are you suggesting that Cloverfield Paradox wasn't an endless series of sci-fi genre tropes?

I’m saying it was pretty good and to have it released randomly with no fanfare on a cheap subscription I’m already paying for is awesome.

It wasn’t great but it was fun and I’m not disappointed because i didn’t have to sit through months of misleading trailers, drive to a sticky cinema and pay a million dollars for a ticket to see some shit Hollywood film.

The fact it was released randomly and sold secretly by paramount means nobody had faith in it anyway.

when i saw they did this after following its path for awhile when it was supposed to get a wide release date then disappearing off the map i told a friend that this was either total genius and and a history making awesome move to just throw the whole marketing budget into a single $5mill/30 second super bowl spot on the biggest ad night of the year and then throwing it up on netflix right afterwords OR it was still genius but at the same time an easy way to build hype and salvage a movie that nobody had any faith in standing up to a wide release

Plus I could stay home and smoke lots of weed while watching.

Get hip to Movie Pass

"MoviePass couldn’t be any simpler. Sign up today and watch all of the latest movies in theaters for only $9.95 per month."

Oh my fucking god.

I signed up a few weeks ago and its really great, the only caveat is that you can't buy ny tickets in advance because you have to be within 100 yards of the theater to check into the movie on the app and then they load the ticket $$ onto the card they issue you so you can buy your ticket, it also doesnt work for anything beyond a normal showing such as IMAX/3d/RPX etc but what i'll usually do anyway even before movie pass is if i was going to IMAX is buy a ticket for another normal priced movie and then go into imax and save myself the extra money.

it also takes like two weeks to receive the card to use once you sign up but its for sure worth it even if you only end up seeing one movie per month you get your moneys worth since a normal ticket is $13+ now

Holy shit that movie was fucking terrible. Beasts of no nation was great. The paradox movie was beyond retarded. Horrid acting. They tried to go for the mysterious, intellectual sci-fi film and it was so poorly written, acted, etc. that it wasn't mysterious, interesting, or even scary in the slightest.

im really disapointed because i had such high hopes after all the viral marketing and ARG shit/backround lore that goes into the whole universe

Legacy media is in its sunset years.

Let’s just take a minute to remember CP Media charges the same as Netflix.

He does? Ha

Nice business model grandpa. Does he put ads in the newspaper too?

KtC did take out that billboard ad

"pennies on the dollar!"

That's terrible. You could get a better podcast network with Gas Digital for 7 bucks. There's at least 3 good shows on that thing.

The only nice thing I can say about Cloverfield Paradox is that it was slightly less unwatchable than Bright. With their original features, Netflix is very hit or miss. They should really redeem themselves at the end of the year with the new Scorsese film, though. Hard to fathom why he took it here instead of the numerous major studios who could've given it the usual, theatrical roll-out.

Bright could have been good if it was a six part series with a completely different writer. As a movie, it was a jumbled, rushed mess of cliches. Will Smith can still play a pretty good fast talking bad ass, though.

Netflix didn't actually create The Cloverfield Paradox, they just bought it from Paramount.

im pretty sure paramount wouldnt give him the full budget he needed after they royally fucked him with the silence campaign and release so he took the offer netflix gave to make the irishman. that fucking netflix logo popping up before a scorsese film is a fucking disgrace. dude made casino and raging bull

Because Netflix is made entirely of cow

It's two fold. First, Netflix is fucking terrible and everything they create is garbage, full stop. On top of that, corporate media with old money is always trying to suppress any competitor.

Who said anything about paying for Netflix? I can get the rips here on Reddit, my dude.

I doubt people who review movies and television for newspapers or online are rolling in the dough besides Siskel & Ebert when they were alive since they had a syndicated television show. So it wouldn't take much to bribe them to get what you want said. It would be too obvious to bribe for your movie, but to pay to have a competitor shit on would be easy to get away with since you'd have many suspects since everybody in Hollywood hates Netflix.

i agreed with most of the negative reviews even though a lot of people noticed how quickly the hatchet jobs were coming out. There really wasn't any reason to put Cloverfield in the title and it was a pretty mediocre show with noticeable production problems (the dubbing for one actress being noticeably Godzilla like)

Buncha hack frauds!

I don't think they all get negative reviews. Okja, Gerald's Game and The Babysitter were all entertaining and got great reviews.

I saw Gerald's Game recently made by Netflix and it was really good. Obviously it looks less like a proper feature film and more like a made for TV one but it was a good fucking job.

Stephen King's coked up mind is right 60% of the time.

1922, Gerald's Game, and Beast of No Nation were pretty good, but when they try to go bigger they just come off cheap looking and feeling. They are getting better at series though.

They need to start poaching some HBO talent.

Was 1922 good? I stopped watching it like an hour in, it was was slow and I assumed I knew exactly how it would go. I liked Gerald's game a lot more than I expected!

They really have some good shows, so I wish they stopped trying to make everything a movie. Recently, I loved Dark, but I'm not sure if they "made it" or just bought it after it was done.

I liked it. It was slow, and a bit boring. But I also thought it was well filmed and more adult and noirish than a lot of things I saw around the same time. It's probably a 6 - 7/10. I wouldn't go out of my way if you didn't like the first hour, but it didn't turn out horrible.

I, too, really liked Gerald's Game.

I don't recommend 1922 but it wasn't terrible. I have a soft spot for Stephen King bad movies

I just saw the Cloverfield movie and although I liked it and some of the actors, I just don't get why they threw in random shit without explaining anything.

Spoilers

It could have been a simple movie about parallel dimensions like Another Earth, or a time travel movie like Primer, or a sci-fi horror movie like Sunshine, but instead they mixed everything together and randomly had the crew kill people, the spaceship, accidents, a monster, etc. Did they ever explain why the ship hurt the same guy twice but did nothing to most of the crew? How the arm lived and could "see" and do stuff for hours? Why the IT Crowd guy was kinda funny but nothing else was? Why there were suddenly monsters which were never mentioned to exist in the other dimension?

I feel like they could have done more with the movie or made it more focused on one or two ideas.

It was an awful movie

Hollywood is pissing their pants right now. They got the #metoo hashtag outing all the power players on one side and Netflix stealing their audience away from capeshit for $12 bucks month.

They're using all their shills to shit on Netflix, blaming Russia and The Alt-Right for brigading Rotten Tomato Black Panther user-reviews. All while they're basically cashing in on white guilt and black pride presale of tickets.

Babysitter, Bright and Sandler's movie are pretty bad

the new cloverfield movie really is not very good, nd this is from somebody who wanted it to be good really badly and had such high hopes, it was just shite, it had barely any connection to the other movies and now its totally obvious why thy took so long to release it and then just sold it to netflix instead because this wouldnt have stood a chance on a wide release at a theatre

I was kind of excited to put on the new cloverfield movie after the big game but then I saw queen beyonce was in it and decided not to

Was 1922 good? I stopped watching it like an hour in, it was was slow and I assumed I knew exactly how it would go. I liked Gerald's game a lot more than I expected!

They really have some good shows, so I wish they stopped trying to make everything a movie. Recently, I loved Dark, but I'm not sure if they "made it" or just bought it after it was done.