I knew I had to put this amateur in his place, so I waited for everyone to stop laughing at my most recent, put down. Right as he was about to join in on the frivolity I cut him off. "Nice shoes, dick," I said.

His face went white as the other veteran's howled at my lightning fast improve skills and the sheer viciousness of my insult. As he ran from the table I could see tears streaming down his face. "What a civilian," I proclaimed.

A week later I was talking to the owner of the venue and the subject of the young comic came up. Turns out he quit comedy forever and then killed himself. I just responded by saying, "I hope he used a shotgun with a toe attachment" and we both howled with laughter.