Artie's out of rehab. Says hes gonna stop by the show on Monday if they'll have him back.

101  2018-01-12 by Nezlo_Nuke_Em

163 comments

"I’m gonna stop by the AA show Monday. After AA. I am not sure they’ll have me back. But I fucked up. Keith and Anthony are my brothers."

Haha, he doesn't want to do Compound anymore. His drug overdose is an excuse for Keith to tear up their contract and Artie doesn't have to do those shitty shows anymore. Pretty smart of Artie. I hope Anth paid him for a year in advance like a rube.

How much did they drop on those billboards? Probably $10,000?

Pennies on the dollar!

Penises on the dullard

Probably 10K each...I buy billboards in a non major market and they are still thousands. They also aren't supposed to be your only marketing, you're supposed to couple several types of ads together to target a demographic. A billboard alone will get ignored because people aren't exposed to it long enough to make an impact individually.

Have you tried just dumping a billboard in whatever location the billboard company has been unable to sell? Maybe put a confusing message on there with no "call to action", and placed just before the product becomes unavailable for a couple of weeks?

Because I know you think you're smart about this stuff, but Keith IS a retired beat cop, and a mildly retarded one at that.

Sometimes I buy discount Billboards if I'm running a throwaway campaign that basically goes along with nothing but name recognition. We are always running a total coverage marketing strategy every day of the year I try to run print ads radio ads online ads and billboards because repetition matters. Probably the number one type of marketing that would work for compound media is doing other podcasts the hosts of compound media should be guests on other podcasts and vice versa.

If you ever say "rube" again.... It's even cringeworthy when Ron says it.

Shut up ya mark, this is a shoot, not a work.

Get backta woik!

Maybe he will have a new rehab story...

"You putting that shit on cheeseburgers" was almost getting old a decade ago

I bet he's already high

on a plane

also, he's delirious and thinks he's talking to Howard.

https://twitter.com/artiequitter/status/951835411197947904

30 day rehab is a fucking joke too. With this fuckers history, if he were serious about being sober, 90 days.

This was "how many days can I do to make judge think I tried -- so I can get back to using again"

Artie has made decision he's gonna snort H until he dies. Hasn't killed him yet - why stop? So he gets an extra 7 years?

You think he did the minimum amount of time he needed to in a rehab to trick a judge into giving him a reduced sentence for his crimes and that he's going to go back to his habit as soon as the trial ends? Where would he have learned that from?

90 day in patient, 6 month halfway house and then a 6 month 3/4 house.

At least this. He can afford it, so he ought to do it. Except of course he can’t do drugs in a well run rehab.

Daily testing, too. Or, at last resort, Suboxone for life with daily testing for cheating. He cheats once, he is driven to skid row and let out. “Might as well put you here as here is where you will be very soon.”

Didn't James Hetfield enter like a 18 month rehab program for alcohol?

And Artie does 30 days after numerous overdoses and two serious suicide attempts.

Seems about right?

I never heard of Artie overdosing, when did that happen?

Hetfield was originally scheduled for 60 days or something, but he took his time, which stretched to almost two years, although it wasn't easy on his bandmates.

What a complete waste of time

I was thinking the same. He has serious addiction, but goes for the same amount of time your average "it's time to stop binge drinking" 23 year old goes for. Wasn't he in the hospital for 3+ weeks of this too? Did he even go to a rehab or just a hospital?

Any 23 year old who goes to rehab is a bitch

Rehab facilities are a fucking joke. Being in longer than 30 days will just get you bored, and if he just went to his usual celebrity one in LA, then he'd have access to drugs there anyways, so it wouldn't change anything. A week or two to detox is all you need unless you're dumb enough to let yourself be brainwashed into a 12 Step mindset, which is successful for less people than cold turkey.

f***

You wouldn't talk that way around your grandmother would you young man?

i agree. I went to my house i have up in the mountains where there is no pills/dope around, sweated it out for a week- week and half and then came back to regular life. granted it took a few times for it to stick for me but it did. before that people talked me into trying the 12 step nonsense but i couldnt get through even one meeting. it was such fucking horse shit nonsense. in my opinion aa/na only works for stupid people

Artie saying that is not a big deal.Howard without his wig would kind of look like Ant

I doubt he's talking to Howard but if he is what could be lamer than tweeting to brag about it. I dare say I find this Lange fella off putting.

Is there anything more douchey than a newly sober junkie.

A man who has been sober 32 years from drinking a few wine coolers and arguing with his dad once.

I want to know more about this argument between Jimmy and his father. I've heard about it a few times but never any details.

I imagine though it went something like this:

Jim Sr.: "Jim you're acting like a faggot. Your mother and I would rather you drink than be a faggot. Please stop being a faggot."

Jimmy: blinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblinkblink

Jimmy: looks to Ant for approval

Jimmy: I don't know dad. That's a tough one.

"I was more animal than man!"

Bailey Jay is an old bitty!

Good point.

One day at a time bro, you don't change because you want to change, you change cause you HAVE to change.

Hehehe I’m allergic to drugs and alcohol................😏..................I break out in handcuffs HAHAHAHA

what are your favorite na keytag slogans? I like duct tape grey stick & stay

The term pink cloud and also what it means drives me up a wall. That attitude of an infallible conquering hero newly sober people have is really irritating because you can just see it in their eyes that they’ll be back on dope as soon as they stop getting attention.

I like when they get like 1 year clean and start speaking at meetings.

especially the guys you know aren't clean

Listen, honey. I'm a gentleman so I'll actually ask.

Want to see my dick?

That a boy Artie, go rain on that alt right parade!!

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cough Hey Gar...

I thought when I clicked on the link I was going to get a bunch of Vos dates. I guess I'm somewhat dissapointed.

They always say, the best thing you can do when just getting clean of a major drug addiction is immediately go to work in the entertainment industry where you are handed lots of money. Should work out okay. He's been an addict for 20 years but 32 days sober should fix things right up and all his mental and emotional problems are now cured. Congrats, Art! Welcome back!

"i am not sure they'll have me back."

What the fuck else would they do? Lean on fat Macklemore Dave Landau to take over? If Artie actually doesn't come back it's because he didn't want to.

Exactly, that "aw shucks, sorry guys" shit sounds lame. It's Compound Media. He could start doing heroin again tomorrow and Ant will be laughing it up with him.

Yeah he did that aw shucks routine on Howard for years until Howard finally agreed with him and cut Artie off.

He then continued it saying ah shucks Howard won't have me back over a little suicide attempt

He could join Isis & Compound Media would happily welcome him with open arms, he’s basically all they have at this point.

YAH HA HA HA HEROIN HA HA HA HA

Dave Landau or Aaron Berg. Both great options as new co-hosts.

Berg is a rising star.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Good job pulling my peckah sir

I dont mind dave landau, hes pretty good. but aaron berg stinks.

Regardless I assume they will keep charging the higher rate per month

You don't think Mr. "I don't even care if he shows up A-HAA-HAA!" has high standards for his business partners?

Landau is pretty fucking funny though.

No he isn’t

what's that, about 2 weeks of rehab? That's all you really need, isn't it?

I wish you enabling CM subscribers would knock it off already.

There needs to be a speed-up of Artie's death and Ant's return to the world of HVAC.

Sooooooo.....who wants to bet he'll be high again before summertime?

Sun down....there i fixed it for you.

I was thinking more along the lines of lunchtime...

Just watch for standup gigs, then we'll know.

He has one tonight. It's over.

Holy shit he does!

Artie is like Pinocchio. We can tell if he's lying if his nose grows.

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I was really hoping he'd die in the faint hopes it would irritate the retards that subscribe to that nonsense.

I don't have time to read all of this now, so I apologize if this has been discussed.

Artie is merely out of the hospital. Assumedly, completely detoxed.

Unless he has 24-hour foolproof surveillance until he gets into rehab, this fool has no shot.

Any hospital that released him under the pretense of "I gotta stop by my show on Monday first, so I'll get to rehab on Tuesday. I'll be fine over the weekend" is junkie speak for "I will be fucked up until a Tuesday. At minimum." has set him up to fail.

And what decent detox facility puts a fresh Artie Lange on the street on a Friday, with no immediate transport by ambulance to the rehab, or the airport to the rehab.

This stinks of another weekend at Artie's, where this time he's actually gonna be the corpse.

I hope to fuck somebody responsible is keeping an eye on this asshole, 'cause Artie 9 Lives is on #8 1/2.

you may be right but its possible he was actually in a rehab and that article was bullshit. I wouldn't exactly call RadarOnline a trusted news source.

Has it even been 30 days since the nose Twitter pic?

its been 36 days

He's admitted to hiding drugs in his house. So it's almost definite he has them there now...how can he possibly make it any length of time?

He went straight to do standup tonight. Insane.

thats always a good idea there sure isnt any coke/dope in that business

The co host is gonna 'stop by' his show

Aka pick up drugs from Keith's evidence storage connection

Probably gonna go after Ang.

I wouldn't wanna be in that guy's shoes.

" Not sure if they'll have me back" What the fuck else are they going to do??

Over under how many minutes he will be late on monday?

He's out of the hospital, not rehab.

sure..I'll "stop by" what's suppose to be a permanent gig-I'm a real worker bee fucking genda-loon

Lol like Ant would stop him

he’s the junkie we deserve.

It's so reassuring that Artie loves his fans. Those guys are the best!

His hearing is in late February. He will probably be facing court ordered rehab. That said, CM can't afford not to have him back. That network is losing subscribers.

It never had much to start with.

Yep. I ended my subscription. Bored as fuck with most of the shows.

Dead by Sunday.

Heres the tweet saying hes gonna stop by the show:

https://twitter.com/artiequitter/status/951835909745463296

what it says: I’m gonna stop by the AA show Monday. After AA. I am not sure they’ll have me back. But I fucked up. Keith and Anthony are my brothers.

Ha. Anthony couldn't wait to go back to his right wing parroting show once Artie split. Anthony and Keith aren't his brothers. They just used his name to prop up their network after Gavin left.

there is no way Ant lets him in when Milo is there. It would be Chris Hansen all over again.

Over/under on how many days(or hours) till he is using again?

I bet he took a nice fat bump to ease the nerves right before he tweeted.

It’s understandable. Drugs are pretty relaxing.

There's no way he can stand doing the show sober if he clearly didn't like being there loaded.

Too late.

he needs to go to sober living

Sounds like you are speaking from experience, dear.

Yeah i was in rehab for 3 months and a halfway house for 9 months. Im high right now

rehab for what?

well it was more for mental health than substance abuse it was a so called dual diagnosis program which means they give you pills while drilling the 12 steps into your head. I used to drink 4 beers a day and now I only drink occasionally so I guess it worked. i still smoke weed

rehab for 4 beers a day? Jesus I'm more then a alcoholic then I thought.

That makes sense. Although crack could have explained your ashy nipples.

Where do you live?

Florida

Yikes. Probably not a good state for a junkie.

Real salt of the earth guy here. Jesus Christ you're a fucking douche.

I just need my container of coffee and I get to work when the foreman tells me.

Tss, better than PEPPER of the Eart'

Nahh, that shit doesn't do anything. If people figure it out they figure it out, no matter how long you're imprisoned when you get out of you didn't buy it it will catch up w you

very true. 2 girls oded and died while I was in treatment

Oh. Just about the bare minimum time he legally had to do.

Seems legit.

On his kids Pauly, he's clean this time.

Coincidence.

Artie’s not a baby gorilla, he’s just s baby. My dad fell off a ladder waaaaah, Howard turned his back on me waaaaaaah, I can’t stop eating waaaaah, make fun of my sister waaaaah. This fat douche’ll back on the junk( that’s gangster talk riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigt) by the super bowl. Fuck him.

Was the Super Bowl this morning?

I don't recall him saying "waaaah" each time. They pay him to talk about his life.

Dana fucked a titsoon. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaasass

They brought in a really attractive girl that's attracted to fat guys and I had a meltdown, waaaah

Riiight already gettin high at the crib, that’s gangsta talk for house riiiiighttt!

Jeter hit into a double-play. Where’s my works? ( that’s gangster talk for drug paraphernalia riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight) Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

I hope my father brings by some drugs tonight because malt liquor is no fun without amphetamines

and I'm audi 5000

Cool.

ai baas ofno mi maang, stapavond broer check je straks

Huff more jenkum.

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Unlike Howard, Ant can't carry a show by himself.

TIL Peckas1 hasn't listened to Stern in 15 years.

Howard requires a small army to do a show.

He's a politically correct dipshit now, but he still has the ability.

No, he doesn't.

Howard is being carried, and has been carried since the Artie years.

On his best day, way back in the day, Howard was nothing more than half a personality, half shock-jock PT Barnum. If you put Howard alone at a mic today, you'd get nothing but geriatric Jewish faggot-farts.

Stern show in 2018 makes Opie Radio sound like a good time

Anthony can carry a show by himself if he tries to be funny and takes a break from crime statistics.

Nope he's better as the 2nd mic and chipping in with jokes.

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How can these cowardly old men even attempt the facade of tough guy italian on air? "Oh, I hope they'll have me back!", they don't even have the balls to text each other.

Little fuck wont even look at me...

the cunt wont even look at me*

Did he say cunt? Shit.

People that announce they're 32 days clean usually stay sober right? Right?

It's easy to get 32 days when you're bedridden in a hospital.

For his sake I hope it works. For our sakes I hope he’s busted again within 24 hours.

Keith, get him to sign the insurance policy.

"One day at a time"

Good thing he got such insightful and deep advice in rehab

I'm missing something. Didn't we just find out that he was still in the hospital as late as last week? I don't think that time gets applied to his rehab.

Arturo is playing with fire. Theyll just toss his ass in jail.

I didnt think that a court mandated rehab would only be 30 days.

Its usually 3-6 months - depending on severity.

I have no idea what the fuck Artie is doing. A judge will absolutely toss him in jail if he's in non compliance.

Cue Artie going back to his podcast to shit talk Ant and Keith if he's been fired. Same old tired bullshit.

Artie should be n methadone or Suboxone or even the opiod blocker vivitrol. He's a lifer he's not going to be able to stay clean without medication.

I agree. for aslong as he was using + how much he probably used + having enough money to keep using, i think he should be on methadone because it holds you better than subs. I don't know if being totally clean/opiate free is an option for him at this point without relapsing. I wonder why he's never tried methadone.

Or even vivitrol if he doesn't have the discipline to go dose daily. That vivitrol shot will block all opiates he attempts to do. I blame the rehabs they usually push total abstinence.

He is such an attetion seeker. This dude will not stop

He's only clean and sober for a month because he's was in fucking jail most of that time...

He wasn't in jail for any of it

Artie and his "32 days sober" will white knuckle into the AA Show next week, and be reminded how Anthony laughed at his court appointed 30 day rehab and is right back to his old shit.

At least boring old Anthony finds his thrills of being drink while staying home and yelling about race on the internet or playing video games.

Besides, the crack staff at Compound Media have such a long history with Artie and surely won't enable him, right? They'll be tough but firm to stand up and say "YOU WILL NOT USE TODAY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU" when he threatens to kill one of them for his stash.

Good luck, bro.

He’s an asshole if he quits the show. He was starting to have Anthony be funny again, now he’s just going back to the same old BS

yeah ant was becoming ant again finally then he reverted right back to alt right/black stat radio before artie even got into the car to go to rehab

Will he be on the days that Milo and Gavin wont be there?

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Bitch ass nigga Artie always tryna git attention. Just die dopehead.

Florida

on a plane

Sun down....there i fixed it for you.

No, he doesn't.

Howard is being carried, and has been carried since the Artie years.

On his best day, way back in the day, Howard was nothing more than half a personality, half shock-jock PT Barnum. If you put Howard alone at a mic today, you'd get nothing but geriatric Jewish faggot-farts.

I was thinking more along the lines of lunchtime...

Just watch for standup gigs, then we'll know.

He has one tonight. It's over.

yeah ant was becoming ant again finally then he reverted right back to alt right/black stat radio before artie even got into the car to go to rehab