Someone actually watched that?

Probably to tell him to put his toys away as she doesn’t want young Edgar to woken again.

Wowzers, that truck driver bit at the beginning was of a brilliance unspoken in either standup or talk show history. I had to take some Benadryl to try and get my douchechills to recede.

Did ya?

that hat looks like one of those they put on circus monkeys.

I assume Jess is being serviced by a functional man who also treats her to a meal that features real animal protein while Sam plays with his dolls in the basement. It's their thing.

Sam is a testament to where hard work can get you. He has no talent and nothing of interest to say, but he really never stops talking in front of cameras and microphones.

You left out the fact that he has a terrible voice and his appearance is repulsive.

Vos gave Sam his recipe

I wish this was Sam's "lose your first wife because you're out sucking dick for crack" phase, then.

Haha hard work. The only hard work he did was putting up with Opie so he could brown nose him, which led to Opie protecting Sam. Granted,he has kept his hideous visage in front of whoever was unfortunate enough to tune into a program he is on, but that little boned pterodactyl-man couldn't do any hard work if he wanted to.

Surviving in corporate America 101

Being a Massive Faggot, Doctorate level. Opie Roberts is utter shit of the most odorous kind.

It's pretty much the same thing.

Pterodactyl? These insults are getting mad advanced yo

Sam is like Chris Benoit. Only thing left is for him to murder wife&son and then Kill himself.

He celebrated the new year by drinking Mexican coke. I feel so embarrassed for Jess.

Meanwhile Jess was drinking Mexican cock...

Boo

I have never tried to drink with my asshole.

If I’m ever dying of cancer thats how I plan on taking Meth until I die

I will inject it with my penis.

Someone has to photoshop a pecker into his hand and mouth while hes blowing on that kazoo thing

Sam clearly does not give a single fuck about Jess and his child. The guy couldn't be bothered to buy lunch for his wife on their Hawaii honeymoon, preferring instead that she stuff herself at the free breakfast and take heavy bacon shits every night. Now he's queering off with his wrestling pals on New Year's Eve while Jess, presumably, feeds and comforts his baby. This is what is more important than family and friends.

Has Sam ever chosen Jess over anything? The show practically had to have an intervention so that she no longer had to watch TV on his shitty 13-inch Sylvania or whatever it was.

after reading that you start to feel bad for her, but then you gotta remind yourself that she 1) married him, 2) let him nut inside her, 3) Tolerates his face

This is true, it’s not like he tricked her, he’s always been this way

Plus you have to assume that many people in her life were begging her not to marry him. Anemic unsightly entry-level manchild working in a dying industry for 3 mentally ill divas and their assorted collection of faggots and abusers and unstable fans.

Seriously Jess: WHAT DO YOU SEE IN SAM?

Can you imagine what her friends say about her behind her back.Also her kike family must of been in her ear to leave this piece of shit but she wanted to go against what everyone was saying so she stayed with him.She deserves everything she gets.Eventually she will leave him but after that she will have a hard time meeting anyone because she will be in her late 30s at least and a single mother

She must really have insecurity issue. There's a beautiful bread girl at the Panera Bread we work at. Her friend (another coworker) told me she has deep seated insecurity issues stemming from high school. She works out, and has a banging ass. Because of these false insecurites, she dates an ugly rat faced farm boy named Tristan. It's rediculous because he will come in and stare me down because we work together, showing me how beta insecure he is to have such a hot girlfriend.

Seeing how pretty Jess is (a New York '7') and who she chose to procreate with, I'm making an educated guess that Jess has a low self-worth about her looks and place in life. She started out wanting to be on TV and do journalism, now she's stuck in Westchester trying to raise two children at once.

farm boy named Tristan

Maybe he stares you down because he realises you're a scumbag without morals who will lust after someone elses girl? Farm boys are alright, honorable people.

I have known three Tristans in my life and they were all complete faggots. That can't be a coincidence. The name encourages douchiness.

Has any neighbors called the cops on this den of homosexuality yet?

It's easy to feel sorry for Jess but don't forget she chose to marry and procreate this nugget eating, velociraptor voiced faggot.

While her friends are either married or dating real men, who wined and dined them on NYE before making passionate love to them - she sat in her bathrobe, nursing little Edgar while watching her gargoyle, man child husband play with dolls and drink sodie pop. Fuck her, she made her bed.

Let's not pretend Jess was some fair maiden who was abducted by Ottoman white slavers and sold to the ugly son of the local warlord. She saw this ape/human hybrid playing with his wrestling dolls and thought "I want to carry this man's seed." There are no victims. Only volunteers.

No one's saying she's a flaxen haired hussy abducted for the pleasure of a Muslim Turk's first born.

We all ķnow she's an East Coast American of questionable heritage (like most of them) - Wop/Jew/Polack/Whatever.

She chose to breed with him. It's her fault. Damn her.

I’m willing to bet she’s probably an overgrown child as well. She probably tends to her Pokémon collection while Sam is doing his wrestling podcast.

Sam doesn't like being a dad or husband.

Both by definition require you to stop acting 10 years old.

I can't believe my hatred for Opie was so blinding that I actually was excited for a second when Jim moved over to do a show with this "man" who has ZERO talent.

That fucking shoe on the wall enrages me.

Nothing like a hat on a shelf to really tie the set together.

Jess was putting on what she thought to be a sexy radio voice. I'm thinking she and Sam think their new act can be as this online couple. It's sickening.

I hope Sam goes away before she does.

faggot didnt even kiss his wife at midnight

I bet she hasn't bothered asking in years. Sam has better things to do than make happy memories with his wife.

I think it's funny that people think (((she))) is with Sam because she loves him. You've all seen and heard Sam, right?

She is clearly a rogue looking to poison the tribe from within. What better DNA for this mission than Sam's?

How can it be any worse than all the rest of the new years she's spent since she started dating him?

Yeah kinda, was working a restuarant all night and the waterpipes broke and we had a flooding from the ceiling onto our machines. So we had to shut all the water off, including the toilets and the faggot customers couldn't handle not peing outside on the wall like real men do.

His poor family

Around 14 minutes this literal swollen philtrummed Grinch in his cave is wishing for a terror attack on Times Square.

jesh my schowe is sho popular tonight, like jake the schnake in hisch prime

Samsonites

I hope pat duffy is clocking this humanzees house every night contemplating murder

You reap what you sow.