People let their girls hang with this man? He doesn't even own a ferris wheel.

bragging about your ferris wheel again?

It was very expensive.

She needed the money.

I don't even know if this is real or photoshopped. Either one is a distinct possibility. I wonder if he spent 12 hours of Christmas ranting about blacks to these children.

It's clearly fake, because there are boys in the...

My bad.

Put some tits on them, and they get a pass.

Maybe they can help him find his gun

I don't own a digital scale in my bathroom so when I'm home for the holidays I like to weigh myself before and after shits to see how big the log was.

Glad to see that at least one person in this subreddit is achieving something in life.

yuletide log

Sir, that's genius! I've been shitting on the scale to get the weight... your idea means I wont need to clean the scale once a week anymore.

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just shit onto the scale for accuracy

Doing it after pissing is pretty satisfying. You can drop 3-5 pounds easy.

Damnnnn cuz Ant getting laid tonight

YAAY! stephanie, stand in front of the projector so i can see your flat silhouette

I both threw up and tented a little.

Anthonys trying to figure out what move he is going to use.

Well "I have a home theater" is already taken and "I have a pool" is no good in December. Hopefully those kids like kareoke.

He's going to teach them how to paint a birdhouse

Come over here little girl and sit on this lump in Anta Claus's lap. Now what would you like? How about a ipad or some fake titties? Now if you are a bad girl Anta Claus might have to break some ribs

Grampus

Tranpus will consume you, child!

His parties are constantly either too old or too young. What a drastic idiot

Looks like that creepy old fuck in the north from Game of Thrones that lived in the cabin with all the young girls. I'd still probably trust that guy more than Ant to be around my daughter.

Craster. At least he kept it in the family.

Crater-face keep

Oh no...

At least a cop is ever-present!

No no, I don't think Keith is a police officer anymore.

I wonder what line Ant would have to cross before Keith turned him in.

No line. Ants a dope who would probably pay out far more for hush money than most monsters.

Keith has definitely buried people for him before. Or used his boat to dump them into the sea.

Turns out that Anthony Cumia is successful beyond his wildest dreams. He has 50,000 subscribers and rakes in over five million in revenue every year. But Keith The Cop is the puppet master, holding him hostage and demanding 90% of his income to guarantee that Antwan doesn't go to prison for pedophilia.

*Keith the former cop

That's a very unflattering picture of Anthony, with or without the child sex slaves.

Try finding a flattering pic of Anthony, I dare ya

So what do you think Anthony is watching with them - Jaws, Scarface, or The King of Comedy? You know, the next generation needs to understand what Ant’s impressions and quotes are from.

Ice Age. when Leary talks he probably tells them how he used to talk to him.

At least Anth dressed up for the occasion.

Any photo of Anthony wouldn’t be complete without a gangly underage girl.

"You're cute... ever try coke?" - A. Cumia

I'd pay those kids twenty dollars for each booger they wiped on those chairs in front of anthony

Free iPads for everyone!

Suuuuuuuuuuuuure

They's just gettin' to know each otta.

Ants have transparent abdomens that can show the color of the food they eat.

Normally I hope that the creators of bots get cancer and die. Not in this case.

It's confused Anthony with Jimmy.

Uncle Paul. Turkey foot is a game we can all play.

So the parents ignore the Megans Law notice in the hopes of getting a settlement?

Who's this "Megan Slaw"???

Hmmm, which seat do I sniff first after they leave?

All those kids are white

What movie do you think he's watching? Pulp Fiction or Jaws?

A Serbian Film.

Probly busts out one of the old Olsen twin movies. He can enjoy and the kids can enjoy.

...cuz a compound party don't stop at legal restrictions like 'age of consent'?

They look happy.

They must be new.

LMAO the old skull faced man among the playing children and shit, this could be one of those modern renaissance paintings. Holy fuck, no red line I spelled that right. Total luck. I'm high as shit.

Uncle Ant cant wait for them to leave so he can sniff the cushions

Emperor pedotine

Anthony should fit right in with Hollywood

That girl in the white looks tied up. Is this comet pizza?

Comet Pizzaface.

boner.

The best part of this is Ant keeping his eyes on the boy getting a little too friendly with his girl.

Girl next to him is on an iPad and an inflatable donut.

He looks like an apparation

Total defamation of character... there wouldn't be boys.

Alright kids, we're gonna play a little game now it's called "Who is the fastest at taking off their clothes?". And nobody is ever telling mommy we played this game, it's our little secret ok?

Yaaaayy!!!!!

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Bobo's looking good tho.

ooohhhhh no no no no no no

Ant playing a solo game of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ with his own relatives.

Ant and his Harem

The kid to the right up front looks like Ian Watkins.

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Is that a nubile young girl? In that ghoul's presence? You just know a man who looks like that has long suppressed desires to relive the experience of his first love

Did Ant adopt some refugee children?

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Cover your shoulders you little slut.

Lmao what the fuck is this

you are slowly realizing your errors, but are still in denial at this time.

You know Joe has class when he uses Ant's money to outfit his underground spit farm with a dope theater room.

"Okay kids we're going to watch Guardians of the Galaxy, let me just hit play. Oh dear, I'm sorry kids it looks like I got the wrong one, this is Hardons of the Galaxy. Say I have an idea, why don't we just go ahead and watch this? You're all big girls and boys and this will just be our little secret. Now Becky come over here and sit on Uncle Ant's lap. Shhuurrrrrreeeee that's a good girl now let me just get some erl."

I can see it now. Anthony is trying to watch some boring movie from the late 70s to 1980s for the 28th time. He mumbles the few memorable quotes from the movie to himself as they happen then a sly grin forms on his face. Meanwhile, these young kids who literally could not give a damn about this movie run around, bored out of their minds. They've already told Uncle Anthony "But Uncle, we wanna go outside and play tag!" to which he replies "Only after I watch my movie! Your Uncle is so old, he needs a rest.". The kids figure, hey, this guy couldn't give a shit why not play tag in his little home theatre. They start running around, having a joyous time as kids too. Anthony the recluse doesn't want another felony on his hands so he does nothing but frown. There's a little girl to his right playing a game on her IPad, one of those Candy Crush clones. He turns to her and says "Let me tell you why the 13th Amendment should not have been made...", Quint getting eaten by Jaws plays on the screen.

Looks like the gate area for the Lolita Express

The kid next to Ant is rocking a brand new Ipad.

I think ant has pulled the girl next to him

"We're going to uncle Anthony's house, why don't you put on those yoga pants he likes so much"

What,no fuckin llama

You get your period yet, Carmen?

I both threw up and tented a little.